| Author | Message | ||
| Hubert Otlik (Hugh)
Intermediate Member Username: Hugh Post Number: 1471 Registered: 1-2002 |
Like the sands of the hour glass... Honestly, Brian, you're still young and there will be many many women along the way... your 20's will astound you. As far as a mutual attraction b/w you and your ex, well, you can either handle it one of three ways: 1. talk to her about, continue having sex, and keep it mutually casual. 2. if you're both attracted, and emotionally attached, then also talk about it and try to reason why you didn't get along before, or 3. ignore the attraction , and move on. Either way, if you want to reach an ammicable solution , you're going to have to get yourself, and her, to reason out your mutual issues and insecurities. You'd be amazed by how much you can accomplish by having an honest conversation (i.e., saying the things you really think, without worry that they're not what she would "like" to hear). But , from a personal standpoint, i can't imagine having stayed with any girl I dated when I was younger... | ||
| Dave (Maranelloman)
Advanced Member Username: Maranelloman Post Number: 2915 Registered: 1-2002 |
You must be single, "spanky". No wonder you call yourself "spanky". Very Freudian...  | ||
| spanky mcdoogle (Spanker)
New member Username: Spanker Post Number: 15 Registered: 9-2003 |
Brian, Just send her packing... They'll be plenty more babes breaking your heart on the way to divorce court. Next! The Spanker | ||
| rob guess (Beast)
Member Username: Beast Post Number: 377 Registered: 5-2003 |
Art; Maybe that is why i have yet to get married. The next one is better than the last one.. Brian Sever all ties and go out and find someone new Rob Guess "The Other Rob" | ||
| Brian Saligman (Brisalig)
Junior Member Username: Brisalig Post Number: 177 Registered: 8-2002 |
I am not really too sure what happened last night with the note. I really dont know what happened. I guess ill just get over it...hopefully by next weekend. | ||
| David Mcguire (Matkat)
Junior Member Username: Matkat Post Number: 85 Registered: 3-2003 |
Flaunt it with one of her friends and just to really piss her of go for the ugliest one and then make comments like "she's better looking than you anyway" | ||
| arthur chambers (Art355)
Advanced Member Username: Art355 Post Number: 2646 Registered: 6-2001 |
for some reason the next one is always better than the last one. Move on. Art | ||
| Jim E (Jimpo1)
Advanced Member Username: Jimpo1 Post Number: 2634 Registered: 7-2001 |
After reading Ryan's other thread, it's time to move on. If she's handing out your notes to her, she's done with you. Get even, move on. | ||
| DGS (Dgs)
Member Username: Dgs Post Number: 343 Registered: 5-2003 |
Whenever you find yourself missing an ex-g/f, just consider the sh*tstorm you'd be facing if you'd tried to stay together. Read a good book -- Maybe "The Man Who Folded Himself" (about some poor schlebb who kept trying to recycle a past relationship). There are some things even a time machine can't fix. Women in the city are like subway cars: - They travel in groups - There's another along every few minutes - They're rarer after 2AM and - Long before you ever see them, a whole lot of other people have already screwed them up. | ||
| William H (Countachxx)
Advanced Member Username: Countachxx Post Number: 3187 Registered: 2-2001 |
Brian, true happiness comes from within yourself, from having your mind at piece, not from someone else or being with someone else. Your girlfriend has some serious jealousy & self confidence issues & you may have put the flame to the bomb when you were with her friends You need to make her understand that you wont be her puppy dog & you do your own thing but dont be cruel about it. Good luck | ||
| Steven R. Rochlin (Enjoythemusic)
Member Username: Enjoythemusic Post Number: 776 Registered: 4-2002 |
Brian, Not an expert by any means, yet have been HAPPILY s(w)ingle and am now 38. It rarely gets better if she does not want you hanging out with others. it virtually ALWAYS gets worse. You are young, you have plenty of time... and it seems you have some mighty nice options. i have done the "lets get back together" thing. It ALWAYS has been MUCH WORSE than before when we were together. Dude, love ya and all but seriously, you will both get over it and move on. The C note in singles and "rub and tug" are great ideas, yet you are underage right now. Relax, i bet you one, perhaps two or more of her "friends" will gladly allow you "space" in their "life" (innuendos abound :-) ). Enjoy the Drive, Steven R. Rochlin PS: Other are saying move on, majority rules and i can understand how you FEEL right now. This is normal dude and soon enough this will be all in the past. Take time to grieve if need be, but DO NOT be overcome by it. Move on and have fun. There are incredibly lovely (and talented) ladies out there... believe me :-) | ||
| Fred (I Luv 4REs) (Iluv4res)
Member Username: Iluv4res Post Number: 484 Registered: 8-2002 |
David, thanks for the explanation. Makes sense now.  | ||
| Paul Bianco (Paulie_b)
Member Username: Paulie_b Post Number: 868 Registered: 1-2003 |
Brian, more words of wisdom from Tom. | ||
| Thomas I (Wax)
Member Username: Wax Post Number: 398 Registered: 7-2003 |
As time goes by, you'll find that it takes exactly 5 minutes to get over ol' what's-her-name. I made this same observation 20 years ago when I was 23 - I assure you that it was not a flippant remark, and that without hesitation, the rest of the dirty dozen present agreed. Mind you, I'm not speaking of one-night-stands either. However, a word of caution - possessive Drama Queens have a way of stealing everything you own when the divorce is final. Case in point - do you see a Ferrari on my profile page? Me neither. I rest my case. | ||
| Paul Bianco (Paulie_b)
Member Username: Paulie_b Post Number: 867 Registered: 1-2003 |
by the way, how old is the young lady? same age or close to it? sounds like immaturity. | ||
| Paul Bianco (Paulie_b)
Member Username: Paulie_b Post Number: 866 Registered: 1-2003 |
Brian, you are getting alot of advice here. Basically we are mostly veterans to this type of thing or have kids that have been through it. You are getting good advise as far as you being only 16. You have alot to experience in life including other women. I am sure Liz is cute but send a picture. Am curious at this point. | ||
| David Feinberg (Fastradio2)
Member Username: Fastradio2 Post Number: 391 Registered: 4-2002 |
Railroad story explanation: Don't lose you head over a piece of as*... | ||
| Fred (I Luv 4REs) (Iluv4res)
Member Username: Iluv4res Post Number: 483 Registered: 8-2002 |
Wait a minute..... First, what's her problem with you hanging out with her friends? If she doesn't trust them, she shouldn't be friends with THEM, not YOU. Big issue here. Why shouldn't you hang out w/ other people, especially since they are mutual friends, so long as you are just friends with them and nothing more! Jealousy, insecurity, what is it??? Second, remaining friends is terminology that is a lame-as*s way of saying goodbye. No one ever does. Third, acting in a way to specifically get her jealous or hurting her to get her back will usually backfire. Besides, if it works, it will only reinforce her insecurities. Fourth, my gosh....16 years old. So much time to have your heart trampled on by so many other women. 1st crush/heart-rip-out is a horrible experience. But....you do learn from mistakes and dating someone with irregular hangups is only a recepie for future dissapointments. Lastly, someone please explain the puppy and railroad story to me. My 'Dr. Phil' 2 cents...... | ||
| Brian Saligman (Brisalig)
Junior Member Username: Brisalig Post Number: 170 Registered: 8-2002 |
LOL, I was totally thinking about that actually. I even have a date for lunch tomarrow, which can easily turn into lets go party tomarrow night, where someone she knows will see me, or shell see me...basically shell hear about it!! However, I dont want to hurt her like that. If possible, I still wanna be with her. I also know that she wants to be with me. She did not dump me, we mutually decided to split up. When we are togeather, we are so happy, everything is wonderful. I have had the most unbelievable last few months with her. I have math 8th period, and then I have to go pick up my pants from the alteration place (had to get em taken in) then ill be home and post a pic. | ||
| Jim E (Jimpo1)
Advanced Member Username: Jimpo1 Post Number: 2630 Registered: 7-2001 |
Damn, first broken heart. That's a tough one. I'm not sure I follow the logic of 'If you didn't like my friends so much, you'd still be with me'. That sounds like jealousy, pure and simple. What's driving it? Previous experience? Low self esteem? You'll get over her, and quickly I assure you. At your age, the sky is the limit. If you want to really drive her nuts, get a hot date with someone she doesn't know and go to the place where she hangs out. Hug all her friends hello then cooly dismiss yourself. When she freaks out, remind her that she dumped YOU. | ||
| Brian Saligman (Brisalig)
Junior Member Username: Brisalig Post Number: 169 Registered: 8-2002 |
no guys, really its not like that. She is still attracted to me, shes just a drama queen. I know there are other girls. Not to sound cocky, but there are other girls I could be with tonight, however I dont want to be with another girl tonight. I want to be with some of my buddies, or with liz. Not some other girl. I have never really seriously dated any girls before. Just a few here and there, but no one serious, or like liz and I were. I fell hard for her. maybe its puppy love, or whatever you wanna call it, but I have never felt like this before | ||
| Ronin (Ronin)
Junior Member Username: Ronin Post Number: 82 Registered: 6-2003 |
My man If you are 16 this sounds like "puppy love" Do like others have said and walk away your too young to be hung up on one girl. There are going to be so many girls your gonna come in contact with in your young life (school,parties, work,etc.) you'll forgot this one's name in no time. | ||
| TomD (Tifosi)
Advanced Member Username: Tifosi Post Number: 4355 Registered: 9-2001 |
sorry did not realize you were 16 - dumb me no need for pics | ||
| Gordo A. (Gordo)
Junior Member Username: Gordo Post Number: 176 Registered: 2-2003 |
Hey Brian, Are you 16 as your profile says??? If so wish I had a car like that when I was 16 (all those decades ago), there I was with my '71 VW Super Beetle and thought I was cool! If you are, forget it mate you really do have it all ahead of you. My advice? Enjoy the freedom, and don't be in such a hurry to get tied down, there is PLENTY of time | ||
| DL (Darth550)
Member Username: Darth550 Post Number: 361 Registered: 7-2003 |
If you BOTH believe there is a mutual attraction then you may have a deal on the table. Maybe one of her friends stole a guy from her in the past? Discuss. If it is JUST YOU who really has the attraction then she has already moved on and wants to have her cake and eat it too by keeping you from her friends. Normal stuff. Have any of the others that have called you been in her clique? If not, then her friends will be loyal to her and if you try to hang out with them they probably won't. Go get change for a "C" note (in ones) and go to a strip club with your buddies! Or better yet, go get a "Rub and Tug" and say the "N" word. NEXT! DL | ||
| Brian Saligman (Brisalig)
Junior Member Username: Brisalig Post Number: 168 Registered: 8-2002 |
as soon as I get home this afternoon, I will post some pics. I totally forgot about that. This afternoon I will post some. The thing is...some of her friends are hot! I am still far more attracted to her, but they are certainly easy on the eyes. And they keep calling me. Its sooo tempting. And when I took the temptation, and said fu*k the consequences, I got hurt more in the end by her. This situation is soo messed up, I just dont know. Also, I could shut off contact with her, but that would really hurt her. AND, if I did that, I would still see her at parties...and things of that nature, as I would be hanging out with her friends who are now my friends....if that makes any sense. I am sorry guys, Im really not weird or messed up or anything like that. I am struggling with this whole new concept to me. I have never cared about a girl like this before...and I dont know how to handle myself. Ask Ron Vallejo (with the red 328gts, he met me), im a normal guy | ||
| Lawrence Coppari (Lawrence)
Member Username: Lawrence Post Number: 781 Registered: 4-2002 |
Once upon a time there was a littly puppy snoozing next to a railroad track. He was dreaming nice puppy dreams. As he dreamed his tail wagged and ended up resting on top of a rail. A train came by. It cut off the tip of his tail. This awakened the puppy and he jumped around to see what happened to his tail. The next set of wheels cut his head off. I think the moral of this story is obvious. | ||
| Jerry W. (Tork1966)
Member Username: Tork1966 Post Number: 997 Registered: 7-2001 |
You're a jack-ass!....just kidding. Best to sever all ties and hang out in different circles. As you said, if you see her with another guy, it will kill you...and might make you do something that you'll regret later. I know you THINK that you can't live without her, but you can...and will, believe me. I've been there and done that. I stayed in a doomed relationship way too long knowing that it would never work, but praying that it would. It never did. Time heels all wounds. Go out with some buddies this weekend and have fun. Good luck! | ||
| TomD (Tifosi)
Advanced Member Username: Tifosi Post Number: 4352 Registered: 9-2001 |
very tough to be friends, best is to sever all ties, otherwise it will go on forever. Obviously if one of her friends is hot go for it This thread might get some more action with pics sorry I could not resist. hope it works out | ||
| Brian Saligman (Brisalig)
Junior Member Username: Brisalig Post Number: 167 Registered: 8-2002 |
Guys, I split up with Liz like 3 weeks ago, but heres the problem. I am still attracted to her in many ways, and she is to me as well. From dating her, I met many of her friends, and they all seem to like me, and like hanging out with me during the weekends, even when shes not there. She hated this, and Im not gonna do it again. She has told me many times that we would be togeather had I not been with her friends the last few weekends. We promised eachother we'd reamain friends...and maybe we'd be dating again in a little. Now Im not so sure if we can be friends. Emotions get in the way, and the fact remains that I am sooo hurt without her. If i ever saw her with another guy, id die. How should I act tonight, should i not see her, and let her see what its like when none of her friends hear from me...or see me tonight? Or should i ask her to hang out with me?? I just dont know. She has other guys calling her, and I have other girls calling me, however I dont want to be with any other girl. I dont know what to say to her. Please let me know what you think I should do, anything at all and no jack-ass comments either. |