| Author | Message | ||
| KCCK (Kenneth)
Junior Member Username: Kenneth Post Number: 119 Registered: 10-2002 |
Ah, yes, I suppose with a Ferrari, you get to win over more than just one lady. And here, the one lady ruins all the other chances for you. | ||
| KCCK (Kenneth)
Junior Member Username: Kenneth Post Number: 118 Registered: 10-2002 |
And I thought many people get Ferraris in order to win over ladies, not to lose them. :-) | ||
| Craig Williams (Craigw)
New member Username: Craigw Post Number: 33 Registered: 4-2002 |
this post really worries me. I too am extremely passionate about cars, mine in particular but hey, this was an accident. She clearly didnt mean to do it and whilst its annoying and upsetting particularly as she's done it before, it is...just a car..(a very nice one at that) Take a step back & get some perspective then get it repaired & forget about it. Also might be worth asking yourself why she was scared to tell you. Good luck. merry Christmas. | ||
| DES (Sickspeed)
Member Username: Sickspeed Post Number: 383 Registered: 8-2002 |
Andrew, my passion is unquestionable however it's unnoticeable when compared to the life or welfare in any way, of another human being (unless that human being is a republican  )... (i done did it now, huh...?) | ||
| Tillman Strahan (Tillman)
Junior Member Username: Tillman Post Number: 243 Registered: 11-2001 |
Andrew, I have a passion for Ferrari. If I didn't, I sure would be using the money involved on something else. However, it's still "just a car". A very cool car, but I still drive it to work regularly, take it to the store, park it at the mall, etc. It's metal, plastic, leather and glass. It can be fixed, or replaced if necessary. As far as William's question goes, I wouldn't dream of imposing my viewpoints on that situation. | ||
| '75 308 GT4 (Peter)
Intermediate Member Username: Peter Post Number: 2290 Registered: 12-2000 |
Andrew, we do cherish our cars, they are special, they are unique and they're better than Corvettes and Porsches (Yipes!! ducking my head from flying objects like... keyboards and mice...  ). But alas, just metal, rubber, leather and plastic... They break, they can be fixed. Although not cheaply, but that's the price we pay. | ||
| Ernie Bonilla (Ernie)
Member Username: Ernie Post Number: 474 Registered: 11-2001 |
Oh thats a good one Martin. I'm gonna have to remember that one in case I ever need to use it, hehehe. | ||
| Andrew (Mrrou)
Member Username: Mrrou Post Number: 459 Registered: 3-2002 |
You guys surprise me. I don't understand how someone can have the ferrari passion then casually refer to it as "just a car" If it was "just a car" I don't see why you bought a Ferrari or even an Aston Martin in the first place. Andrew | ||
| martin J weiner,M.D. (Mw360)
Member Username: Mw360 Post Number: 716 Registered: 5-2001 |
If one hits a car in a parking lot it is manditory to leave a note on the windshield.However what one writes on said note differs from person to person. I have a friend (it's always a friend) who writes"the people here in the lot watching me think I am writing my name,address and phone #".Then he takes off.tut,tut,tut. | ||
| DES (Sickspeed)
Member Username: Sickspeed Post Number: 376 Registered: 8-2002 |
"Everyone on this board is here for the love of the car. Atleast, I hope so anyway.?" Jay, sadly enough, that's just not the case... there's a thread about this, somewhere, i'm just not sure what it's called, anymore... William, it's been a couple of days since you started this thread... i think all of us are wondering what conclusion you and your fiance came to; please let us know... | ||
| Ernie Bonilla (Ernie)
Member Username: Ernie Post Number: 472 Registered: 11-2001 |
Magoo No don't take her to court, just don't let her drive the car, if she doesn't want to pay, or make it VERY clear that if it happens again the she WILL pay for it. | ||
| magoo (Magoo)
Advanced Member Username: Magoo Post Number: 3878 Registered: 2-2001 |
Ernie, ONLY IN A PERFECT WORLD. Or if she refuses to pay you could sue her. | ||
| Ernie Bonilla (Ernie)
Member Username: Ernie Post Number: 471 Registered: 11-2001 |
That isnt the point. The point is that it seems she has a habit of doing things like this and then plays them down. I say she pays to fix it, or she doesnt drive it. It appears the reason that she continues to be careless with the cars, is because there hasn't been a hit to her pocketbook for the damages. Believe me if you make her suffer some sort of monitary loss, her carelessness with the EXPENSIVE CAR will be put to rest. | ||
| magoo (Magoo)
Advanced Member Username: Magoo Post Number: 3875 Registered: 2-2001 |
Peter just gave me a thought. In fact he and I have discussed this before. I have done things to my Ferrari like the following. Walking trough the garage, not looking, I let a can slip out of my hand and hit the left. rear 1/4 panel denting it. I also was getting a gal. can of paint off a shelf in my garage and the lid was not tight. As I pulled the can off the shelf the top popped off and white paint came down over me and the rt side of the Ferrari into the pass seat and ran down over the pass side door. Luckily it was latex paint. Now it hurts to admit this but as Peter says, S**t happens. It is funny how when we do these things they are bad but when someone else does them it is unforgiveable. "Hmmmmm something to think about." | ||
| DMC (Machinnes)
New member Username: Machinnes Post Number: 19 Registered: 10-2002 |
It's not just a car. My wife loves driving a nice cars but taking care of them is another thing. First time she drove the Porsche C4 I asked her to be careful pulling out of the drivway due to the fact the curb was high. Of course first time out she cracked the air-dam right in front of me, smiled as she drove away saying to me out the window it was'nt a big deal. If your soon to be wife cared about your feelings she should be looking at how to help fix the problem ASAP because this is nothing less then what she would expect from you. | ||
| Chris Tanner (Ctanner)
New member Username: Ctanner Post Number: 46 Registered: 5-2001 |
PS.... My wife drives my 348 whenever she wants, probably about to a 100 miles a month. What's amazing is given my parking skills, that she lets me drive it. Chris | ||
| '75 308 GT4 (Peter)
Intermediate Member Username: Peter Post Number: 2286 Registered: 12-2000 |
Its only metal and plastic. I've dropped things on my car (like the gas-tank on top of the hood... Don't ask...), I once backed up in a parking spot and hit the anti-roll bar mounts on the same type of concrete barrier (made a loud BANG!), my Dad put a couple of chips on the paint and didn't tell me about it until a few days later (but I've put my fair-share of chips too). S--- happens... Sure I wasn't happy when these things happened and you feel stupid when you do it, but what else can you do? | ||
| Chris Tanner (Ctanner)
New member Username: Ctanner Post Number: 45 Registered: 5-2001 |
I'd like to maybe give you some insight from your fiance's perspective from a small mistake I made in my wife's new car. Last February, my wife bought a 2002 BMW X5, although I did my best to talk her out of it. She just had to have it. We had owned the car for 3 weeks when we decided to take it on a ski trip. After unloading our stuff from the car into the condo we rented, we needed to move the car into a very narrow carport. She said she would guide me into the slot, but she had to take the last load in, so she wanted me to wait a minute. For whatever reason, I couldn't wait, and drove in myself. In the process of straightening the car out in the carport, I ripped off the drivers mirror!!!! Name all the uncomfortable feelings (guilt, panic, embarrassment, etc), I felt them. My gut feel was that she would react poorly. When I went upstairs with pieces of the mirror to show her, I learned that I had underestimated her. She was furious! The initial furor then blended into the silent treatment. She didn't talk to me the entire night. We went to sleep, although in the same bed, as far away as possible. I felt awful for damaging something she was so excited about. The next morning, she apologized for her reaction. She still thought I was careless, but she knew I didn't do it on purpose, and forgave me. My advice to you: since I guessing you've already had the blow up, and the car is still broke, apologize to your fiance for your reaction so the relationship doesn't break. She feels bad about this and probably feels very guilty. | ||
| Jay S. Morris (J_saber)
New member Username: J_saber Post Number: 2 Registered: 12-2002 |
It's only a car, William. You obviously aren't one of the bubble-rap, air tight, oxy tent owners that has your car sterilized after sitting in it. You drive it. Through use it is going to get many marks and blemishes, but who cares. Remember William, it's all about the ride. The car can be fixed. Make the memory of this accident a good one, a learning experience. A bad on may be the beginning of a salt situation. Don't lose sight. Always remember why you bought the car, for the ride. If you want a trophy buy the E.T. tent. Further, I would have to disagree with Mark. It is just a car. The car means just as much to William as a Mustang to any Ford enthusist. The price of the car make no difference. If the DB7 retailed at $13,500, wouldn't he have still purchased it? Everyone on this board is here for the love of the car. Atleast, I hope so anyway. | ||
| Markus Lex (Playersmarkus)
New member Username: Playersmarkus Post Number: 20 Registered: 10-2002 |
Maybe she wants a new car ;O) Her way of saying : Honey, time to exchange it for a Ferrari... Markus Playersrun.com | ||
| Mark Lambert (Mlambert890)
New member Username: Mlambert890 Post Number: 32 Registered: 4-2002 |
Here's another spin on this... For 90% of the people on earth, the idea of casually doing thousands of dollars in damage to a quarter of a million dollar car would be something from a fairy tale. A $250,000 car is not "just a car" and carelessly smashing it actually is a big deal. When a good percentage of the human population can barely afford food, the least the fortunate can do is have some respect for money. My wife and I both put a lot of thought into big money purchases and are *equally* careful with expensive things. In the case of a car accident where one person is clearly at fault, after it's been confirmed that they are ok and well, I think its absolutely mandatory that they are called on the irresponsible behavior that lead to the accident in the first place. | ||
| Ernie Bonilla (Ernie)
Member Username: Ernie Post Number: 470 Registered: 11-2001 |
Ok DES It's a deal as soon as you get your Enzo give me a call so I can't go drive it like it is stolen. Burnouts, doughnuts, reverse 180's, panic stops, seeing how well it holds the road on a long sweeper, topend.......uh, oh........I pushed it just a little bit too much, and hurt the car. Hahahahaha what a crock, uh yeah and thanks for being a pall and not making me pay for anything. I'm just fine. I don't think so, YOU HAVE GOT TO BE CRAZY! If I got the chance to drive a car like that I would be so careful to the point of being overly careful. Maker her pay for the damages, I never said to give her the boot. My point is this, if she really understands about how he feels about the car she will offer to pay for it. At that point I would say, no you don't have to pay for it I love you. But she NEVER OFFERED TO PAY. That is my point and his point. Because she could careless. That is what makes him mad. | ||
| Adam R (Arymarcz)
New member Username: Arymarcz Post Number: 24 Registered: 8-2002 |
I agree w/DES. My ex gf was a terrible driver. I don't think she could ever go a year wo/getting in an accident no matter how careful she was. | ||
| DES (Sickspeed)
Member Username: Sickspeed Post Number: 372 Registered: 8-2002 |
i thought L. Wayne's story about the Benz/Porsche incident was a perfect example of how this situation should be approached but JMG's story seems best... all in all, it's just a car- you never choose materials possessions over a human life- if it's that a hard a decision, you shouldn't marry her in the first place... Ernie, i must disagree with you... if i had an Enzo and i let someone borrow it and they •••••• it up, yeah, i'd be pissed for the moment (if it was a careless mistake) but you get over something like that... if it were an accident, the Enzo can go •••• itself- i just wanna make sure whoever i lent it to it ok... they have computers to match paint jobs- it's not so easy with blood. Warren's right... (GENERALLY SPEAKING), women don't have the same hand/eye coordination that men do, when it comes to driving- they're spacial perception isn't as clear as ours- this is a proven scientific study... someone else mentioned that you should make her pay for the damages- if it comes to that, i would suggest reconsidering whether you want to marry her or not... And in the words of Jens Haller: "A great woman is worth far more than a fucking chip in a british car!" Also, if it's an everyday driver, then it's "just a car"... if you treat it like an exotic, then you still knew, full well, the consequences that could arise by letting her drive it... yes, it was an accident, yes, she should be sorry, but YES, i think you're overreacting... $0.02 | ||
| Mark Eberhardt (Me_k)
Junior Member Username: Me_k Post Number: 229 Registered: 5-2002 |
Andrew, at the end of the day, no matter how nice it is, it's a car. It can be replaced with another one just like it. I just love it, but I could get anther one. Honestly, seeing someone get hurt because they didn't understand what they were getting themselves into is much, much worse than anything that could happen to the car. A few years ago at college, I worked with a couple other guys to build a small formula race car for autocrossing. We spent over a year on it. At testing (parking lot autocross course)there were several non-team members there, friends and such. At the end of the day, since everything had gone so well, the car was just perfect, good balance, very predictable, we let them take a ride around the course. The last one in line totaled the car and spent several months in the hospital and will never be the same. We built a new car that was better than the first one, this time one of the team members made exactly the same mistake, it was a panic thing. He was un-hurt, but the front left suspension was ripped off the car. We repaired it and went to the race. My 308 with all the mods is almost as fast as that race car was. Fast cars in novice hands can be very dangerous. If my wife totaled the car, but wasn't hurt, I wouldn't bat an eye. The next one will be better. When she asked to drive it, she wanted to drive it because it was "The Ferrari". She took her own car because I was concerned about her, not the car. She doesn't love it the same way I do and never will. It's an understanding and respect thing really, I don't put her clothes in the washer/drier, she doesn't drive the Ferrari. | ||
| Todd (Tkrefeld)
Junior Member Username: Tkrefeld Post Number: 100 Registered: 11-2001 |
"i hurt the car" Anyone with that vocabulary should not drive a Aston Martin. What if you put tin foil in the advantium in the kitchen and made her pay the $1000 repair bill. Would "I hurt the Microwave " help?? I believe this has nothing to do with the car. It's more about consideration and having and adult level of maturity and relationship trustworthiness. But she may also be judging you based on how you handle it. Wayne...LOL yea it was a loooong time ago. | ||
| magoo (Magoo)
Advanced Member Username: Magoo Post Number: 3871 Registered: 2-2001 |
William, If you continue to give her hell and she walks on you, will you miss her? If the answer is "yes" forget it now and take your lumps. If the answer is "no" then continue at a pace you choose. | ||
| magoo (Magoo)
Advanced Member Username: Magoo Post Number: 3870 Registered: 2-2001 |
Sorry, Frank Foster, I was referring to Frank Parker. | ||
| Andrew (Mrrou)
Member Username: Mrrou Post Number: 458 Registered: 3-2002 |
hopefully it wasn't the wife | ||
| magoo (Magoo)
Advanced Member Username: Magoo Post Number: 3869 Registered: 2-2001 |
Frank, From a old post here, Who was driving your Ferrari the night the tires were slashed? | ||
| Andrew (Mrrou)
Member Username: Mrrou Post Number: 457 Registered: 3-2002 |
Magoo if there was a prenump and I payed for it with my money, personally I wouldn't. Andrew | ||
| Andrew (Mrrou)
Member Username: Mrrou Post Number: 456 Registered: 3-2002 |
Also Mark I am not implying anything about the person you had this conversation with, I am only expressing my viewpoints. While that last post may seem insulting, it is only my opinion and I apologize if it is found offensive. Andrew | ||
| magoo (Magoo)
Advanced Member Username: Magoo Post Number: 3868 Registered: 2-2001 |
William, The question now is , After this is over and the car is repaired, WILL YOU LET HER DRIVE IT AGAIN????? | ||
| Andrew (Mrrou)
Member Username: Mrrou Post Number: 455 Registered: 3-2002 |
you know mark my biggest requirement for my future wife would be that she knows that a ferrari is more than a car. If someone asked me those questions, I would think that the person wants to make sure that A- I think of a $60000+ ferrari as only a car. and B- That getting it scratched wouldn't affect my day in the least. BTW I ruined 2 of my previous relationships by putting people i was dating through pointless tests like that. Andrew | ||
| Mark Eberhardt (Me_k)
Junior Member Username: Me_k Post Number: 228 Registered: 5-2002 |
I don't remember how it came up, but my wife asked if she could drive the Ferrari one day. She doesn't really drive standards, a little maybe. I looked a her surprised and said "OK, just be careful please. Do you need me to show you where the gears are?" Then she asks "Aren't you worried?" I told her "I'm a little worried because it's a standard and much faster than your car and I don't want anything to happen to you." She asks "what if I scratch it?" I said "As long as you're OK, a scratch is much easier to fix than you are." She gave me a kiss, said "I love you too" and took her to the store. That was over a year ago, she's never asked again. Appearently I passed. I know she understands how important my car is to me, so it wouldn't bother me if she broke it. I'd know she was trying to being careful and it was an accident. If there is any doubt in your mind, I guess the right answer to "can I ues your car" is no. | ||
| Andrew (Mrrou)
Member Username: Mrrou Post Number: 454 Registered: 3-2002 |
Jens a chip in a british car and u not knowing about it makes ur car worth more than your wife who damaged it cuz if she smashes your aston martin and doesnt tell u then u can't trust her | ||
| Andrew (Mrrou)
Member Username: Mrrou Post Number: 453 Registered: 3-2002 |
you guys can flame me all you want but no wife of mine will ever drive an exotic i own unless I am 100% sure that she respects it as much as I do. andrew | ||
| Andrew (Mrrou)
Member Username: Mrrou Post Number: 452 Registered: 3-2002 |
the phrase "i hurt the car" implies to me that she doesnt respect the car and it seems like shes referring to it as if it were a yugo. Something like "I damaged your aston martin" would be a better phrase. Does she even respect your car? Sorry if i sound angry but I would go through the roof if my wife hurt a exotic of mine and referred to it as a car... exotics are more than cars and it pisses the hell out of me when people refer to them as "cars" if it was me i wouldnt speak to her for a week. I am assuming she doesn't enjoy the car for what it is, and if I am wrong please correct me, but why would she drive the car if she didn't appreciate it and refer to it as a car? this is a BIG pet peeve of mine and makes me furious. andrew | ||
| Jens Haller (Jh280774)
Junior Member Username: Jh280774 Post Number: 146 Registered: 9-2001 |
A great woman is worth far more than a fucking chip in a british car! Sorry for being so honest, just my two cents as you yankees say!!!! Con saluti cordialissimi, Jens Haller P.S. As far as I know Enzo would have thought the same... | ||
| Frank K Lipinski (Kaz)
Junior Member Username: Kaz Post Number: 65 Registered: 11-2002 |
My girlfriend did the exact thing (hit parking stop) on my lowered P-car. She turned it around and made it my fault by saying "you know I'm not a very good driver, and if you didn't let me drive it, this would never have happened.." How do they do that?  | ||
| yasir saifullah (Yasir)
New member Username: Yasir Post Number: 18 Registered: 7-2002 |
William, Sometimes these things happen & thats why they are called "Accidents".Like someone mentioned earlier,do you want a museum piece car or a driving car ? No matter how careful women are,they just can't think on the same wavelength/frequency as we men do.We know all about these small things as we are continously thinking about cars 24 hrs/day & 365 days/year. Bottom line is,it's just a car and can always be fixed.Ask yourself this question,why didn't she tell you right away,was she too scared ? was she careless ? or did she forget ? Your spouse/kids should never be too scared to talk to you,especially about things like these. Ernie, I totally disagree with your approach in life.If she wants to take your car out for a spin,the last thing i would want on her mind would be,thinking about bird •••• falling on the car or about stone chips and stuff like that. William,good luck in getting your baby #2 fixed (Fiance is obviuosly baby # 1). Later, Yasir | ||
| WMontgomery (Fiorano1999)
Junior Member Username: Fiorano1999 Post Number: 81 Registered: 11-2002 |
The 40 mil Stonguard will stop glass/plastic chips. The 20 mil stuff for paint will not. If I had a nickel for everytime my wife knocked a mirror off her car on the garage door frame... even kind of funny after time passes on. Accidents happen to us all - best not to cover things up though. Like bumping a car in a parking lot and hitting the road and not leaving a note. Does lead to the question what else is being covered up and/or what else will the person attempt to cover up. This really has nothing to do with cars at all....has to do with overall character. Pretend your best and trusted guy friend did the same thing to your car - what would you do? Will | ||
| Warren L. (Warren)
Junior Member Username: Warren Post Number: 132 Registered: 2-2002 |
First of all Ausbrooks, that's a hilarious story. I can just picture a guy screaming at the top of his lungs as his fiance's benz slowly inches towards his porsche and then.... the inevitable. Women just don't have the reflexes and hand eye coordination that men do. No offense to women, and YES there are exceptions but on the whole they just aren't as physically coordinated, otherwise we would have a lot more female athletes playing professional sports with the guys. But I'm not trying to start a debate. William, can I ask how you did react after she told you? Did you yell, or did you stay calm? Why do I get the feeling that even if she told you right after the accident, you still would have reacted the same way. I think the fact that you told her to be careful about the parking stop before was incentive enough for you to get mad at her even if she told you when it happened. People make mistakes, my mom backed out of the garage without opening it about 3 times now. Once she completely shattered the wood. Then of course she has scraped her car a couple of times on the side of the garage. And then once my aunt parked in the driveway and she didn't look back and rammed into her car. AND the worst part about it is that my mom is one of the best woman drivers I know. We all have our share of absent minded retardedness. I'll let anyone drive my f- as long as they know how to drive stick, but I won't let everyone ride my bikes. | ||
| Tim N (Timn88)
Intermediate Member Username: Timn88 Post Number: 1767 Registered: 6-2001 |
I dont think stonguard will help stop this type of damage. ;) | ||
| Todd (Tkrefeld)
Junior Member Username: Tkrefeld Post Number: 99 Registered: 11-2001 |
Put some stonguard on those markers/fogs when your done...see some chips | ||
| L. Wayne Ausbrooks (Lwausbrooks)
Member Username: Lwausbrooks Post Number: 572 Registered: 8-2002 |
Todd, didn't realize you would take such offense. Maybe I should start using more emoticons. It's just that I picture this adult female INTENTIONALLY (unlike William's fiance) trashing your car and you, an adult male, in turn intentionally scratching her CDs. Sounds like grade school stuff to me. Makes me laugh and shake my head at the same time. | ||
| 89TCab (Jmg)
Member Username: Jmg Post Number: 336 Registered: 9-2001 |
William, I say you are overreacting. To wit - a friend of my wife goes out and clubs a tree with the passenger side of my Mondial T with my wife sitting in the passenger seat. Car totaled, sid epushed in 24". Branch about 3" thick misses her head by less than an inch. I get to drive to the hospital to see if she is going to make it while finding someone to watch my two kids and think about what I will tell them if the worst comes to pass. It's at this time that you decide that in life which is more important...your car or your family. Best of luck on the decision. - JMG | ||
| Ernie Bonilla (Ernie)
Member Username: Ernie Post Number: 466 Registered: 11-2001 |
Wspeer I am gonna have to take your side on this one bro. Fellas we aren't talking about a Honda were you can just go to your local junkyard and pick up a bumper for $100 bucks. Trying to play it down is a bunch of bull, and I bet she is doing that because she didn't pay for the car. There is a very good way to make her understand, crystal clear, what she did. Make her pay for the repair or replacement. After her pocket book takes the fall I bet she is very, very careful the next time she is driving the car. If she doesn't want to pay for the damage then no more driving the EXPENSIVE car. My wife did something similar. She came into our house and told me that the garage door wasn't working proplerly. We had just bought the house so I figured the door was installed improperly. I go out and I'm puzzled because this thing is completely off the guides. Then she say's "I forgot to mention that I hit it when I was backing out". As you can imagine I wasn't happy, but I stayed cool and told her in a controlled voice, to be careful backing out of the BRAND NEW HOUSE! Then I took appart the whole assembly fixxed the door and put it back together. Would you believe that she did it AGAIN a few months later! This time she really bent the guide pretty good. It was then that I got very loud. She has been careful going in and out of the garage ever since. | ||
| Todd (Tkrefeld)
Junior Member Username: Tkrefeld Post Number: 95 Registered: 11-2001 |
L Wayne, That was YEARS ago when I as much younger... But I remember it as a good learning experience about the way people may see things. One persons trash is anothers treasure. And, it doesn't matter if it is your trash. Someone else in that kind of a relationship should respect the trash, simply because it is a treasure to you. Period. BTW: Wayne, we parted long ago on good terms I might add...Glad you threw in the personal attack..I'm sure it helped William immensly. | ||
| WMontgomery (Fiorano1999)
Junior Member Username: Fiorano1999 Post Number: 80 Registered: 11-2002 |
58% of first marriages, 80% of seconds. | ||
| Paul Newman (Newman)
Member Username: Newman Post Number: 882 Registered: 12-2001 |
Im not a bodyman so I cant answer the plastic weld question other than I see it done often at the dealership. Its your choice. If money isnt an issue, then replace the whole thing. High speed isnt going to crack the repair but hiting it on a curb might. Then again, you would have to fix it again anyway. I would repair it and forget about it. | ||
| DES (Sickspeed)
Member Username: Sickspeed Post Number: 366 Registered: 8-2002 |
The number one cause of divorce is marriage...! Don't let this be a divorce issue... Let's say, she got hurt when this happened to your car- you wouldn't even care about the car, you'd just want her to be okay. What it all comes down to, like alot of people have already said- it's just a car. ...no one threw an O/T flag in this yet...? | ||
| Lawrence Coppari (Lawrence)
Member Username: Lawrence Post Number: 432 Registered: 4-2002 |
She should have told you about it. And what else has she done that might upset you that she did not tell you about. If you are wrong with your choice, it's going to get a whole lot more expensive later. 50%+ of marriages end in divorce. The odds are already not in your favor. | ||
| Jeff (Jeff_m)
New member Username: Jeff_m Post Number: 33 Registered: 9-2002 |
Some things like that bother people in different ways and already knowing how I would feel if something happened to my car with her driving (I also know she doesn't pay to much attention to whats going on around her besides the stereo)it, I bought her an SL. She doesn't ask to drive mine, and I drive hers if I want because I paid for it! Aren't some things still sacred? The car is all I have left that is actually MINE!! | ||
| L. Wayne Ausbrooks (Lwausbrooks)
Member Username: Lwausbrooks Post Number: 571 Registered: 8-2002 |
Todd, you and your girlfriend both have some major issues. Sounds like you belong together. | ||
| Frank Foster (Sparta49)
Junior Member Username: Sparta49 Post Number: 139 Registered: 3-2001 |
My wife won't even drive my Ferrari she is convinced if she drives it and a bird shits on it I will blame her. I did finally get her to back the Porsche out the driveway though so maybe I am making progress | ||
| Todd (Tkrefeld)
Junior Member Username: Tkrefeld Post Number: 94 Registered: 11-2001 |
I see a few issues here. Your reaction is simple. Just don't be mean about it and move on. The damage is done and no matter what the cause and reason it is over and getting pissed and fliping out is not going to allow you to go back in time. Plain and simple fact. Being a D***head will not mend the crack. If you had never spoken to her about being careful maybe it would, as it might sink in and she'll learn a lesson, but becasue she waited so long she knows her mistake. Second, I have a problem with her waiting and trying to not make a big deal of it, and especially "shouldn't have told you, you wouldn't even know" That bothers me. Although maybe the "smart" thing to do on her behalf, it doesn't signify honesty, respect for you(even if it is only a car), or responsibility for her actions. Eveyone says, get over it and get it fixed. Well, why didn't she say to you it had happended and she would go with you right then to the dealer to have them look at it. A few years back I NEVER let my GF drive my car. EVER. She always bugged, nagged, ect, and I just simply said No. It was my car I can say that. Well after a while I gave in and let her take it to the store to get some smokes(told her NO smoking in the car). Well, it turned out she took it for quite a drive. Ran into some friends at the store, asked them if they wanted a ride. They jumped in a she proceded to do some donuts!! Spun the tires, ect, ect and slammed a parking light holder. She did tell me(kind of sarcastically) immediatly and I WAS pissed, and she never drove it again. My point is this. It doesn't matter if its "just" a car. It is expensive and important to YOU. That is what should matter. Period. Although I new the history of my car, the price, specs, ect, ec, and appreciated it, it was just a "cool, fast sports car" for her to show off in "nothing" else. Just a TOY. People seem to pull that BS it's only a car all the time. Well a nice car is often your second highest investment. After this incident with my GF I was at her house and she has a nice collection of DVD's. I took ten of them out and took a paperclip end to the back side and basically ruined them. Also, used a fwe as coasters. I wasn't angry and did it very calmly. She got PISSED!. But, a few days later she understood. I explained to her that they were "just DVD's" so what. But to her they were more important and part of her collection so it was bigger than that. From that point on she understood. It really has nothing to do with the car. It has to do with respect for you. Didn't want to bring this into it, but if she does something more serious in the future marriage would she just "not tell you, and you'd never find out" I hate that attitude. I don't think you are over-reacting. This was just a cool fancy car for her to show off, and she obviously knew what it menat to you. But it didn't mean that to her, so so what. Sorry for the rant but you hit a soft spot. Having said all this, if she is your dream girl or soul mate of sorts and you may never find another like her, Forget the fricking car. | ||
| KCCK (Kenneth)
Junior Member Username: Kenneth Post Number: 112 Registered: 10-2002 |
She is your fiance for a reason, right? Think of her good things, for a while, and then everything will fall into perspective. | ||
| Tyler (Bahiaau)
Member Username: Bahiaau Post Number: 420 Registered: 12-2001 |
It's a car. Fix it. If it's not the same afterwords then dump it for a another Aston. I wouldn't worry about her not telling you right away. It's a hell of a lot easier to find another Aston than another great woman. | ||
| Tim N (Timn88)
Intermediate Member Username: Timn88 Post Number: 1763 Registered: 6-2001 |
Its only a car man. | ||
| KCCK (Kenneth)
Junior Member Username: Kenneth Post Number: 109 Registered: 10-2002 |
I agree. Things happen, and you have to take them in your stride. If it ruins your life,the car is not for you. | ||
| V.Z. (Ama328)
New member Username: Ama328 Post Number: 47 Registered: 11-2002 |
Summer of '96, rendevousing at rustic cabin outside of Sante Fe with then current girl friend...to get to cabin, go across small creek bridge with gate controlled by remote control. GF goes thru first, but whilst i was crossing in my spotless 328GTB, she thought i was thru and hit the remote to close the gate. I first noticed this when i heard a 'scraping' sound, the damn gate put a dashed line of scrapes from driver's door back to rear panel...still haven't figured out if there's a way to touch up something like this on a clear coat paint job. Is not as bad as described, but, on the other hand, it ain't good... Just one o' them things - if you're gonna drive 'em, crap happens. You can have a museum piece or a driver, but you cain't have both in the same set of wheels. | ||
| L. Wayne Ausbrooks (Lwausbrooks)
Member Username: Lwausbrooks Post Number: 568 Registered: 8-2002 |
William, It's only a car. A couple of months ago my Fiance scaped the side of my Porsche while parking her tank-like Benz in the garage next to it. I was standing there watching and even yelled as loudly as I could to stop her, but it was too late. When she got out, she had a horrifed look on her face. I walked over, gave her a kiss, and said, "Don't worry about it. Let's go inside." and that was it. I never brought it up again. If you plan to spend the rest of your life with someone, little things like this are going to happen many times over a lifetime. Believe me, in the long run, the car means nothing. Get it fixed. Forget about it. Move on. | ||
| WMontgomery (Fiorano1999)
Junior Member Username: Fiorano1999 Post Number: 78 Registered: 11-2002 |
I've had that happen a few times with fiance, wife (different women) and even my brother. The brother story is enough to make you puke. Anyway, how bad do you feel when you pick up a ding, windshield chip, stupid scratch, etc? Pretty damn bad I'd imagine. To the point you kick yourself in the ass repeatedly and you probably don't go around telling people about it. Now...imagine you are in her shoes, knowing how much you care about your mechanical things. You care about her more but for a moment or two she forgets that and is unsure. I'd venture that she was scared sheetless for a short time, then overcame it when she figured you cared about her more than some old car and regardless, she had to tell you sooner or later lol. You got a bag of expensive Aston lemons here, make lemonade from it...you know, you just can't to keep a car that has been damaged like that, it'll never get fixed right, you'll always know it is there and it would just be better all around for your relationship if you dumped it for, say, a nicely restored Daytona. Then get her a Subaru wagon with automatic. Will Brother story: I was in Europe for an extended contract negotiation period. He drove my cars to keep them charged, lubricated, etc. while I was gone. Well, one night, he ripped the side off of my, then new, 308. Instead of telling me...he managed to get the car "tacked" back together (and I mean tacked) before I came back to the States. When I washed the car after a first drive (I never let him even wash for fear of doing it wrong and scratching the paint) I was rather distraught at the quality of manufacture of the car...Christ, it looked like it had fallen off the boat and was fixed by Jose's Body Shop. How could FNA deliver a car like that? How could I have missed it when I picked it up? What a fool I must have been. About a week after I made those comments to my brother he came around and told me the story. Paid for the repair with my Dad's help. Has never been the same between us since. I guess men opearate differently from women when it comes to damaging another's car. | ||
| KCCK (Kenneth)
Junior Member Username: Kenneth Post Number: 105 Registered: 10-2002 |
If she had known that you would stick by her at all costs, even if she was at fault, could it be that she probably would have told you straight away? But I agree that she should learn her own lesson from this, too. She should not just walk away from all these as if nothing had happened, like a spoilt child. Well, there are two sides to every coin. | ||
| Ming Cheng (Onlinesys)
Junior Member Username: Onlinesys Post Number: 97 Registered: 5-2002 |
Relax William. John is right. Love comes first. I will only care about my wife's safety rather than any problem happened to my F-car if I let her drive mine. I could understand your anger for not being told at once. Just do the temporary paint job as Newman said and tell her to inform you at once no matter it is good or bad! Have a Merry X'mas | ||
| KCCK (Kenneth)
Junior Member Username: Kenneth Post Number: 103 Registered: 10-2002 |
But I thought you knew of her past lapses? "...she has done this to her car many times and i have told her over and over ... " Don't get annoyed. It is just a thought. | ||
| Lawrence Coppari (Lawrence)
Member Username: Lawrence Post Number: 430 Registered: 4-2002 |
Not telling you makes me suspicious of her nature or, as a minimum, her maturity. A relationship should be based on trust. Leopards don't change their spots applies if it is the former. | ||
| william speer (Wspeer)
Junior Member Username: Wspeer Post Number: 118 Registered: 8-2002 |
i don't mind if she drives as long as she is careful. a simple agreement, i thought. | ||
| William H (Countachxx)
Intermediate Member Username: Countachxx Post Number: 1664 Registered: 2-2001 |
why did you let her drive it in the first place ? | ||
| william speer (Wspeer)
Junior Member Username: Wspeer Post Number: 117 Registered: 8-2002 |
magoo, she clearly knows. she simply wasn't paying attention. i know she didn't do it on purpose. if she told me yesterday morning, i could have taken it to the dealership to find out how to fix it and how much it will cost as i am sure this isn't the first one they have seen this happen to. now because she waited, i have to wait until monday to find out which drags it out three more days. what set me off the most was she told me she shouldn't have told me because i probabley wouldn't have even noticed. how in the hell can you not notice a big crack. she knew i would be mad, but unlike john said- she was worried that i would be disappointed because she new better - not that we have a "bad" relationship, after all, it is just a car. it is just frustrating that she downplayed it so much when she knows that i will think it is a big deal even if she doesn't | ||
| KCCK (Kenneth)
Junior Member Username: Kenneth Post Number: 102 Registered: 10-2002 |
If one day you should get into trouble, would she be there in sickness and in health, and for better or for worse? Would she stand by with you no matter how much you could have been blamed? Think about that moment in the future, and react today with a similar dose of loyalty and thoughtfullness. | ||
| magoo (Magoo)
Advanced Member Username: Magoo Post Number: 3867 Registered: 2-2001 |
Sorry for your loss. | ||
| magoo (Magoo)
Advanced Member Username: Magoo Post Number: 3866 Registered: 2-2001 |
William, Keep venting buddy, this is the best place for it. Soon it won't hurt as bad. Regards | ||
| william speer (Wspeer)
Junior Member Username: Wspeer Post Number: 115 Registered: 8-2002 |
other than her, or someone else i REALLY trust, they can forget borrowing anything like a car. | ||
| magoo (Magoo)
Advanced Member Username: Magoo Post Number: 3865 Registered: 2-2001 |
William, I doubt if she did it on purpose so lets rule that out. Not being careful is probably the answer. When driving any exotic one should always be careful and aware of things that could damage the car. But then if it is not yours or you don't realize what caution you should take...........Oh well. | ||
| william speer (Wspeer)
Junior Member Username: Wspeer Post Number: 114 Registered: 8-2002 |
i specifically bought the aston martin becuase it has a touchtronic transmission that we both can enjoy. she can leave it in automatic (she can't drive a 5 or 6 speed because that would interfere with changing the radio stations, only kidding) and i can play with the gearing. i can't get used to the ferrari f-1 gearbox, so this was a great alternative. i don't mind if she drives it, just respect someone else's wishes. if i borrow something, i always treat it better than i would if it were mine. a common courtesy i guess. | ||
| magoo (Magoo)
Advanced Member Username: Magoo Post Number: 3864 Registered: 2-2001 |
This also brings up the old question here on the F.C., Should I allow someone else to drive my Ferrari, Aston Martin, whatever???????? | ||
| william speer (Wspeer)
Junior Member Username: Wspeer Post Number: 112 Registered: 8-2002 |
what angered me the most is that the damage was caused by her not peying attention. she has done this to her car many times and i have told her over and over, that if you drive a car that is low to the ground, you have to pay attention when parking. if she was in an uncommon place and hit something, i would understand. she did this in a parking space she parks in EVERYDAY. with respect to the "plastic welding", are there any negatives to having this done as opposed to replacing with a new solid piece. mainly my concern would be at high speeds over time, i imagine the plastic flexes a little. will this soften the material and ultimately cause it to crack? | ||
| magoo (Magoo)
Advanced Member Username: Magoo Post Number: 3863 Registered: 2-2001 |
William, I would have to say that I would have handled it the same under the circumstances. The damage is bad enough but waiting until later just compounds the trauma. And to answer John, because she didn't tell William right away doesn't mean he doesn't treat her right it simply means like when you were a kid you didn't want to tell your dad that you broke a window in the house. She obviously knows how much he likes the car so she was reluctant to tell him and didn't know how. | ||
| Paul Newman (Newman)
Member Username: Newman Post Number: 880 Registered: 12-2001 |
The cut can be fixed by plastic welding at a body shop rather than replace the whole front cover. The paint can be matched by computer with a picture sample. Ive seen it done, it takes fade into account (not that fade is an issue here) so you cant tell. I doubt she thought the whole front cover was scrap and wanted to figure out how to approach the problem. If you flip, the next time she might be even more hesitant to reveal a boo-boo on your car. My wife tells me, thinks Ill flip, which I dont. We fix it and move on because someday, Ill be the one in the ditch with the side of the car ripped off. | ||
| John A (Jarends)
Junior Member Username: Jarends Post Number: 181 Registered: 7-2001 |
Two things, one: Something is wrong with how you treat her if she's afraid to talk to you about anything. Work on it, it's worth it. Two: Love before car (Always) John | ||
| BobD (Bobd)
Member Username: Bobd Post Number: 869 Registered: 3-2001 |
Call off the wedding!!! | ||
| william speer (Wspeer)
Junior Member Username: Wspeer Post Number: 109 Registered: 8-2002 |
about 11:00 p.m. last night, i found out my fiance ripped the bumber on my aston martin db7 vantage by hitting a parking stop. when she put the car in reverse, guess what, concrete being stronger than plastic (?), the bumber ripped up the side. she did this early yesterday morning and decided not to tell me for fear that i would "over-react". needless to say, i am more then pissed-off. it is not so much that i am angry that it happened, as accidents always are "accidents", but it is that she didn't tell me. when she did, she phrased as such, "i hurt the car". what the hell does that mean? well, let me tell you - the whole front facia is going to have to be replaced as well as all the things that go along with replacing parts (ie- availability, matching paint, etc......). not what i would call "hurting the car". what frustrates me the most is that she didn't tell me right away, knowing how important such things are important to me. rather, she waited and acted like it wasn't a "big" deal, when she knew damn well that it was. first of all, am i over-reacting? second, has anyone had a similar experience and how did you handle it?  |