| Author | Message | ||
| J Michael Jordan (Fonce_r_cheval)
Junior Member Username: Fonce_r_cheval Post Number: 62 Registered: 11-2002 |
How about this? If you drove me to hell in a Ferrari, I'd be down there suffering, but you'd never get the smile off my face. | ||
| Mike Fisher (Mikef)
Junior Member Username: Mikef Post Number: 188 Registered: 11-2001 |
Not a joke, but I think a humorous story. I was standing outside a hotel waiting for a friend to come out, and my Ferrari was sitting over to the side where the valet had just left it. This couple pulls up and the gal jumps out and says "nice Ferrari...probably a drug dealer". The guy gets out, gold chains and all and says " no...probably just compensating for a small penis". And what was he driving....A HUMMER!!!! | ||
| Andy Falsetta (Tuttebenne)
Junior Member Username: Tuttebenne Post Number: 94 Registered: 3-2003 |
If sexual content offends you, just hit the "back" arrow. Thanks. ------------------------------------------------- This guy was sitting at his home computer one night reading and posting on his favorite Ferrari chat site. His 12 year old son comes into the room and asks "hey Dad, I am doing my homework and need to know the difference between THEORY and REALITY." The father thought for a moment and said that he could help. "I want you to go see your sister and mother and ask them each to help you with a question from your homework". The question is" how much money would it take for them to sleep with a stranger?" The kid comes back after a few minutes and he tells his father " Well, sis said she'd do it for $200,000. Mom said she would do it for $500,000". The father then responded "well there you have your answer" In THEORY you and I are sitting on enough cash to buy a new Enzo, in REALITY, we're just living with a couple of whores.  | ||
| Jack Habits (Ferraristuff)
Junior Member Username: Ferraristuff Post Number: 216 Registered: 4-2003 |
or maybe it just struck a nerve.... | ||
| Andrew (Mrrou)
Member Username: Mrrou Post Number: 509 Registered: 3-2002 |
maybe the thread had a cavity.. | ||
| Jack Habits (Ferraristuff)
Junior Member Username: Ferraristuff Post Number: 215 Registered: 4-2003 |
Well... it looks like the dentist killed the thread... :-( Jack | ||
| Dan (Bobafett)
Member Username: Bobafett Post Number: 463 Registered: 9-2002 |
That dentist one is great! --Dan | ||
| Wolfgang Eistert (53345)
Junior Member Username: 53345 Post Number: 201 Registered: 3-2003 |
JACK, HA, HA, HA I see you can forgive but not forgett  Hey buddy it was late in THIS night I was a bit drunken too  O.K. I`m your Hubert! Wolfgang | ||
| Jack Habits (Ferraristuff)
Junior Member Username: Ferraristuff Post Number: 198 Registered: 4-2003 |
That's ok Hubert... ;-) | ||
| Wolfgang Eistert (53345)
Junior Member Username: 53345 Post Number: 200 Registered: 3-2003 |
ups, sorry JACK of course | ||
| Wolfgang Eistert (53345)
Junior Member Username: 53345 Post Number: 199 Registered: 3-2003 |
Jach, thats a real 9.5 of 10!!! Wolfgang | ||
| Jack Habits (Ferraristuff)
Junior Member Username: Ferraristuff Post Number: 190 Registered: 4-2003 |
OK, I have to translate this one into English so the message MIGHT not get accross... There is this guy that is having a date with this REALLY gorgeous woman and wanting to impress her he hires a 360 Spider... He picks her up at her home, takes her for a spin enjoying the exhaust note of the Tubis, they go to a beachfront restaurant, have a wonderful dinner, a walk on the beach, moonlight, the whole works. Finally the inevitable question comes up... "your place or mine"... They decide to go for the guys appartment. The next morning they wake up and she says... "You know, I never asked you about your profession but I bet you're a dentist" Wow! says the guy, that's correct! I AM a dentist! "And, I bet you're a good one too!" she adds... "How did you know that?" She: "Well.... I didn't feel a thing....." Hehehehe.... Just my weird sense of humour? Jack | ||
| PlayersMarkus (Playersmarkus)
Junior Member Username: Playersmarkus Post Number: 64 Registered: 10-2002 |
lol, they are not old...they are classic jokes ;o) Markus | ||
| Hans E. Hansen (4re_gt4)
Intermediate Member Username: 4re_gt4 Post Number: 1190 Registered: 4-2002 |
FerrariList has a 'rules of conduct' that specifies that these REALLY old jokes are strictly verboten. Maybe Rob should do likewise. Although, the first time I heard the suspenders joke it was about a Corvette, 30 years ago when I was in high school. | ||
| L. Wayne Ausbrooks (Lwausbrooks)
Intermediate Member Username: Lwausbrooks Post Number: 1517 Registered: 8-2002 |
http://www.ferrarichat.com/discus/messages/21/212767.html http://www.ferrarichat.com/discus/messages/21/212891.html http://www.ferrarichat.com/discus/messages/21/11493.html | ||
| Drstranglove (Drstranglove)
Junior Member Username: Drstranglove Post Number: 113 Registered: 4-2003 |
From the 308 manual: "Tires" "If any of the tires are flat, the first thing you should do is to check the fuse box." DrS | ||
| Louis Goldstein (Lgoldstein)
New member Username: Lgoldstein Post Number: 21 Registered: 8-2002 |
...then the blonde says, "By the way, it's not a Porch, it's a Ferrari." Yadda, yadda, yadda... | ||
| Gabe V (Racerxgto)
New member Username: Racerxgto Post Number: 26 Registered: 4-2003 |
Before going to Europe on business, a man drove his 360 Modena to a downtown New York City bank and went in to ask for an immediate loan of $5,000. The loan officer, taken aback, requested collateral and so the man said, "Well then, here are the keys to my Ferrari." The loan officer promptly had the car driven into the bank's underground parking for safe keeping, and gave him $5,000. Two weeks later, the man walked through the bank's doors, and asked to settle up his loan and get his Ferrari back. "That will be $5,000 in principal, and $15.40 in interest", the loan officer said. The man wrote out a check and started to walk away. "Wait sir", the loan officer said, "while you were gone, I found out you are a millionaire. Why in the world would you need to borrow $5,000?" The man smiled. "Where else could I park my Ferrari in Manhattan for two weeks and pay only $15.40? | ||
| PlayersMarkus (Playersmarkus)
Junior Member Username: Playersmarkus Post Number: 63 Registered: 10-2002 |
Ferrari VS Moped A hip young man goes out and buys the best car available: a brand new Ferrari GTO. It is also the most expensive car in the world, and it costs him $500,000. He takes it out for a spin and stops for a red light. An old man on a moped looking about 75 years old) pulls up next to him. The old man looks over at the sleek, shiny car and asks, "What kind of car you got there, sonny? The young man replies, "A Ferrari GTO.It cost half a million dollars!" "That's a lot of money," says the old man. "Why does it cost so much?" "Because this car can do up to 320 miles an hour!" states the young dude proudly. The moped driver asks, "Mind if I take a look inside?" "No problem," replies the owner. So the old man pokes his head in the window and looks around. Then sitting back on his moped,the old man says, "That's a pretty nice car, all right but I'll stick with my moped!" Just then the light changes so the guy decides to show the old man just what this car can do. He floors it, and within 30 seconds the speedometer reads 160 mph. Suddenly, he notices a dot in his rear view mirror! It seems to be getting closer. He slows down to see what it could be and suddenly, whhhoooossshhh! Something whips by him, going much faster!!!! "What on earth could be going faster than my Ferrari?!" the young man asks himself. He floors the accelerator and takes the Ferrari up to 250 mph. Then, up ahead of him, he sees that it's the old man on the moped. Amazed that the moped could pass his Ferrari he gives it some more gas and passes the moped at 275 mph.whoooooosh! He's feeling pretty good until he looks in his mirror and sees the old man gaining on him again. Astounded by the speed of this old guy he floors the gas pedal and takes the Ferrari all the way up to 320 mph. Not ten seconds later he sees the moped bearing down on him again. The Ferrari is flat out and there's nothing he can do. Suddenly the moped plows into the back of his Ferrari, demolishing the rear end. The young man jumps out, and unbelievably,the old man is still alive!!! He runs up to the mangled man and says, "Oh my God! Is there anything I can do for you?" The old man whispers with his dying breath, "Unhook...my suspenders...from your side-view mirror!" |