Steve Hanis (Steve_hanis)
New member
Username: Steve_hanis
Post Number: 9
Registered: 5-2002
| | Posted on Thursday, June 13, 2002 - 6:04 pm: | |
1. Your horsepower exceeds your weekly salary.
2. You have more than you can safely control, such as any teenager in a 5 liter Mustang.
3. You get a personal thank you note from the Emir of Kuwait for your help in supporting the economy.
4. When you have more horsepower than brain power
5. When your local race shop says "I don't know how we can spend any more of your money."
6. Your car goes through rear tires like potato chips.
7. You get a volume discount at both The Tire Rack, and your local traffic court.
8. Your local power company contacts you regarding the use of your car for peak load power generation.
9. Your wife simply says "Warp 7, Mr. Sulu.", when she wants you to take her for a spin.
10. You start scouting the local Army-Navy store for a surplus g-suit.
11. You start running red lights, as they appear green from doppler shift.
12. You plot stealing that big tank of NOX every time you visit the dentist.
13. Your local cops purchase a Vintage CanAm car, just to be able to catch you.
14. You need FAA clearance to leave your driveway.
15. You leave rubber on the pavement exiting one corner, all the way to the next.
16. You have to add a Parachute to slow down.
17. Your G Forces exceed your IQ (or weekly salary).
18. A road that was once paved smooth is now full of pot holes from your starts.
19. You lay two black strips of rubber down the length of your driveway every morning on your way to work.
20. You've installed dragster parts to keep your car from wheelying back too far.
21. You don't lust for Jerry Seinfeld's mythical 959.
22. You start building a car for your wife (or) you start working on your wife's car.
23. The emissions test guy starts laughing as soon as you pull onto the rollers.
24. You can't drive your car in the rain.
25. Your 'significant other' is afraid to drive your car.
26. You are afraid to drive your car.
27. You spend more on tires than on food.
28. You spend more on car insurance than on house payments.
29. You look in a state police car and see a picture of your car taped to the dash.
30. You throw your underwear in the garbage rather than the hamper.
31. You have to go to the track to buy gas.
32. Insurance companies create a new category just for you.
33. Your neighbors complain about the sonic boom every morning when you leave for work
34. Tire manufacture's warrantees exclude your car by name.
35. You go sideways so often you forget which end is supposed to be in front.
36. You go through transmissions like potato chips.
37. You stop working on your engine and buy a wind tunnel to improve your top end.
38. You can start in 5th and not notice a difference (or - still smoke your tires).
39. You take a drive, get out, look back, and watch yourself get there.
40. You can make the Kessell run in less than 12 parsecs. (for all the Star Wars geeks) |