| Author |
Message |
DES (Sickspeed)
Junior Member
Username: Sickspeed
Post Number: 177
Registered: 8-2002
| | Posted on Friday, December 13, 2002 - 2:48 pm: | |
HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA...! |
Tim N (Timn88)
Intermediate Member
Username: Timn88
Post Number: 1756
Registered: 6-2001
| | Posted on Friday, December 13, 2002 - 1:39 pm: | |
Has anyone ever seen the simpsons where bart said to lionel hutz thathe wants to be a lawyer?
Bart: Mr. Hutz when I grow up I want to be a lawyer just like you.
lionel hutz: Good for you, son. If there's one thing america needs, it's more lawyers.can you imagine a world without lawyers? (he then imagines a scene of people of all nationalities holding hands and dancing around in a circle under a rainbow)
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DES (Sickspeed)
Junior Member
Username: Sickspeed
Post Number: 169
Registered: 8-2002
| | Posted on Friday, December 13, 2002 - 12:44 pm: | |
What do you have when you have a lawyer, up to his neck in sh!t...?
...not enough sh!t. |
DES (Sickspeed)
Junior Member
Username: Sickspeed
Post Number: 168
Registered: 8-2002
| | Posted on Friday, December 13, 2002 - 12:43 pm: | |
Tom, i sent you an email, let me know if it's any help... also, i tried talking to you, online, but that didn't go as i planned... |
Fred (I Luv 4REs) (Iluv4res)
Member
Username: Iluv4res
Post Number: 267
Registered: 8-2002
| | Posted on Friday, December 13, 2002 - 12:36 pm: | |
1. The post office just recalled their latest stamps. They had pictures of lawyers on them, and people couldn't figure out which side to spit on.
2. How can a pregnant woman tell that she's carrying a future lawyer?
She has an uncontrollable craving for baloney.
3. How does an attorney sleep? First he lies on one side, and then he lies on the other.
4. How many lawyer jokes are there? Only three. The rest are true stories.
5. How many lawyers does it take to change a light bulb? How many can you afford?
6. How many lawyers does it take to screw in a light bulb? Three.
One to climb the ladder, one to shake it, and one to sue the ladder company.
7. If a lawyer and an IRS agent were both drowning, and you could save only one of them, would you go to lunch or read the paper?
8. What did the lawyer name his daughter? Sue.
9. What do you call 25 skydiving lawyers? Skeet.
10. What do you call a lawyer gone bad? Senator.
11. What do you call a lawyer with an IQ of 50? Your honor.
12. What do you throw to a drowning lawyer? His partners.
13. What does a lawyer use for birth control? His personality.
14. What happens when you cross a pig with a lawyer? Nothing. There are some things a pig won't do.
15. What's the difference between a lawyer and a vulture? The lawyer gets frequent flyer miles.
16. What's another difference between a lawyer and a vulture?
Removable wing tips.
17. Why does California have the most lawyers in the country while New Jersey has the most toxic waste sites? New Jersey got first choice.
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wm hart (Whart)
Member
Username: Whart
Post Number: 640
Registered: 12-2001
| | Posted on Thursday, December 12, 2002 - 4:47 pm: | |
I'd be happy to give you the name of one of the scariest people on the planet, who happens to practice in NY, had lived on the guyland until recently, and is the lawyer equivalent of going to tactical nukes. Trick is whether he has time right now, cause he does alot of litigation for a client we share, and he is often on the road. email me or call me if you want his name and number. |
Tom RM (Tgitom)
New member
Username: Tgitom
Post Number: 14
Registered: 8-2002
| | Posted on Thursday, December 12, 2002 - 1:11 pm: | |
ttt |
Tom RM (Tgitom)
New member
Username: Tgitom
Post Number: 13
Registered: 8-2002
| | Posted on Thursday, December 12, 2002 - 10:11 am: | |
Hi again guys, thanks for responding. Yes there are so many lawyers in the new york area thats what makes it difficult. I need someone who is going to work full out for me. I have a lawyer now who is not fully committed to helping me solve my problem that I have been dealing with for far to long! Im not sure what area of practice this is considered but basically the situation is I have items that are of extreme value that are in "storage" and the company wont be upfront with me and let me take them out of there facilities. There are many excuses as to why! I cannot wait any longer and it is very frustrating! My current lawyer has other cases and doesnt seem to be going 100 percent to help me and this is way out of control now for a simple thing to just let me come pick up my belongings and i stress there very valuable. I am on Long Island but any lawyer in the new york area with some good advice and maybe a little ruthless to help end this nightmare for me would be helful. thanks...
Tom |
David White (Dwhite)
Junior Member
Username: Dwhite
Post Number: 79
Registered: 7-2002
| | Posted on Thursday, December 12, 2002 - 9:35 am: | |
For what area of practice would be helpful. |
Tim N (Timn88)
Intermediate Member
Username: Timn88
Post Number: 1734
Registered: 6-2001
| | Posted on Thursday, December 12, 2002 - 9:27 am: | |
Just like in the real world, there are far too many lawyers here too. ;) |
Rob Lay (Rob328gts)
Board Administrator
Username: Rob328gts
Post Number: 2953
Registered: 12-2000
| | Posted on Wednesday, December 11, 2002 - 11:14 pm: | |
Several in the NY area. I'll let them respond to you though. |
Tom RM (Tgitom)
New member
Username: Tgitom
Post Number: 12
Registered: 8-2002
| | Posted on Wednesday, December 11, 2002 - 11:11 pm: | |
Hello,
I was wondering if there are any lawyers among us and if anyone knows of any good lawyers in the new york area? Please let me know as soon as possible. Thanks... Tom |