| Author |
Message |
Tim N (Timn88)
Intermediate Member
Username: Timn88
Post Number: 1998
Registered: 6-2001
| | Posted on Friday, January 17, 2003 - 10:23 am: | |
That was hilarious! |
Lawrence Coppari (Lawrence)
Member
Username: Lawrence
Post Number: 472
Registered: 4-2002
| | Posted on Friday, January 17, 2003 - 10:23 am: | |
Double post. |
Lawrence Coppari (Lawrence)
Member
Username: Lawrence
Post Number: 471
Registered: 4-2002
| | Posted on Friday, January 17, 2003 - 10:19 am: | |
I'm sorry to say that I am not clever enough to think of something like this. It was sent to me. |
DES (Sickspeed)
Intermediate Member
Username: Sickspeed
Post Number: 1288
Registered: 8-2002
| | Posted on Friday, January 17, 2003 - 9:52 am: | |
Lawrence, this is ridiculously hilarious...! Did you make this up or did you find it, somewhere...? i need to print it out... This is so funny... |
Pat Pasqualini (Enzo)
Junior Member
Username: Enzo
Post Number: 174
Registered: 2-2002
| | Posted on Friday, January 17, 2003 - 9:09 am: | |
i love the RONALD REAGAN one LOL
|
Lawrence Coppari (Lawrence)
Member
Username: Lawrence
Post Number: 470
Registered: 4-2002
| | Posted on Friday, January 17, 2003 - 9:02 am: | |
Subject: Why the Chicken Crossed the Road
>>>GEORGE W. BUSH:
We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road or not. The chicken is
either with us or it is against us. There is no middle ground here.
>>>
>>>AL GORE:
I invented the chicken. I invented the road. Therefore, the chicken crossing the road represented the application of these two different
functions of government in a new, reinvented way designed to bring greater services to the American people.
>>>
>>>
>>>RALPH NADER:
The chicken's habitat on the original side of the road had been polluted by unchecked industrialist greed. The chicken did not reach the unspoiled
habitat on the other side of the road because it was crushed by the wheels of a gas-guzzling SUV.
>>>
>>>
>>>PAT BUCHANAN:
To steal a job from a decent, hard-working American.
>>>
>>>
>>>RUSH LIMBAUGH:
I don't know why the chicken crossed the road, but I'll bet it was getting a government grant to cross the road, and I'll bet someone out there is
already forming a support group to help chickens with crossing-the-road syndrome. Can you believe this? How much more of this can real Americans
take? Chickens crossing the road paid for by their tax dollars, and when I say tax dollars, I'm talking about your money, money the government
took from you to build roads for chickens to cross.
>>>
>>>
>>>JERRY FALWELL:
Because the chicken was gay! Isn't it obvious? Can't you people see the plain truth in front of your face? The chicken was going to the "other
side." That's what they call it -- the other side. Yes, my friends, that chicken is gay. And, if you eat that chicken, you will become gay too.
I say we boycott all chickens until we sort out this abomination that the liberal media whitewashes with seemingly harmless phrases like "the other side."
>>>
>>>
>>>DR. SEUSS:
Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes, the chicken crossed the road,
but why it crossed, I've not been told!
>>>
>>>
>>>ERNEST HEMINGWAY
To die. In the rain. Alone.
>>>
>>>
>>>MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR.
I envision a world where all chickens will be free to cross roads without having their motives called into question.
>>>
>>>
>>>GRANDPA:
In my day, we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Someone told us that the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough for us.
>>>
>>>
>>>BARBARA WALTERS
Isn't that interesting? In a few moments we will be listening to the chicken tell, for the first time, the heart-warming story of how it
experienced a serious case of molting and went on to accomplish its life-long dream of crossing the road.
>>>
! >>>
>>>JOHN LENNON
Imagine all the chickens crossing roads in peace.
>>>
>>>
>>>ARISTOTLE
It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.
>>>
>>>
>>>KARL MARX
It was a historical inevitability.
>>>
>>>
>>>SADDAM HUSSEIN
This was an unprovoked act of rebellion and we were quite justified in dropping 50 tons of nerve gas on it.
>>>
>>>
>>>VOLTAIRE
I may not agree with what the chicken did, but I will defend to the death its right to do it.
>>>
>>>
>>>RONALD REAGAN
What chicken?
>>>
>>>
>>>CAPTAIN KIRK
To boldly go where no chicken has gone before.
>>>
>>>
>>>FOX MULDER
You saw it cross the road ! with your own eyes! How many mor e chickens have to cross before you believe it?
>>>
>>>
>>>SIGMUND FREUD
The fact that you are at all concerned that the chicken crossed the road reveals your underlying sexual insecurity.
>>>
>>>
>>>BILL GATES
I have just released eChicken 2003, which will not only cross roads, but also will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your
check book - and Internet Explorer is an inextricable part of eChicken.
>>>
>>>
>>>MARTHA STEWART
No one called to warn me which way that chicken was going. I had a standing order at the farmer's market to sell my eggs when the price dropped
to a certain level. No little bird gave me any insider information.
>>>
>>>
>>>ALBERT EINSTEIN
Did the chicken really cross the road or did the road move beneath the chicken?
>>>
>>>
>>>BILL CLINTON
I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What do you mean by chicken? Could you define chicken, please?
>>>
>>>
>>>THE BIBLE
And God came down from the heavens, and He said unto the chicken, "Thou shalt cross the road." And the chicken crossed the road, and there was
much rejoicing.
>>>
>>>
>>>COLONEL SANDERS
I missed one?
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