| Author |
Message |
Anthony_Ferrari (Anthony_ferrari)
Member
Username: Anthony_ferrari
Post Number: 281
Registered: 11-2002
| | Posted on Monday, May 19, 2003 - 3:51 am: | |
 |
Jeff Howe (Ferrari_uk)
Member
Username: Ferrari_uk
Post Number: 263
Registered: 12-2002
| | Posted on Friday, May 16, 2003 - 4:41 am: | |
What does a blonde use for 'protection' ?
A bus shelter ! |
Ed P. (Ebp)
Junior Member
Username: Ebp
Post Number: 110
Registered: 12-2002
| | Posted on Sunday, May 11, 2003 - 6:15 pm: | |
Q:How can you tell that a blond made chocolate chip cookies?
A: By the M&M shells on the floor |
Ed Christophersen (Dr_c)
New member
Username: Dr_c
Post Number: 36
Registered: 12-2002
| | Posted on Saturday, May 10, 2003 - 1:09 pm: | |
The blond's OB doc tells her she is pregnant.
Blond, "It is mine?" |
Jack Habits (Ferraristuff)
Member
Username: Ferraristuff
Post Number: 452
Registered: 4-2003
| | Posted on Saturday, May 10, 2003 - 7:34 am: | |
Translated one from before the internet era...
Gorgeous Polish blonde walks into a "Global Messaging Center" and tells the guy behind the counter that she wants to send a voice message to her mother in Warsaw, Poland.
"That'll be US$ 20.00 young lady" says the guy.
"Oh but I don't have that much money and I HAVE to get that message to my mother and would do ANYTHING for it..."
The guy looks at the blonde and says "ANYthing?"
"Yes, ANYTHING!".
Mmm... I can think of something...
Come, let's go to my office...
They get to his office in the back, he tells the the blonde to kneel before him, he drop his pants and the blonde just sits there waiting....
"Well, come on! Go ahead!"
The blonde grabs his "thingy", moves her mouth close to it and says "Mamma, are you there?" |
Andrew Menasce (Amenasce)
Member
Username: Amenasce
Post Number: 853
Registered: 10-2001
| | Posted on Thursday, May 08, 2003 - 8:46 am: | |
LOL ! |
John A (Jarends)
Junior Member
Username: Jarends
Post Number: 202
Registered: 7-2001
| | Posted on Thursday, May 08, 2003 - 7:29 am: | |
Bobby "keep her ankles warm".
Really made me laugh this morning, thanks.
John |
"The Don" (Mlemus)
Advanced Member
Username: Mlemus
Post Number: 4508
Registered: 8-2002
| | Posted on Wednesday, May 07, 2003 - 9:13 pm: | |
Q: What do you call a dead blonde in a closet?
A: Last years hide and seek winner.
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Q: Why was the blonde staring at the orange juice bottle?
A: Because it said concentrate. |
"The Don" (Mlemus)
Advanced Member
Username: Mlemus
Post Number: 4507
Registered: 8-2002
| | Posted on Wednesday, May 07, 2003 - 9:13 pm: | |
Blonde Jokes Number 1
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A blonde, a brunette and a redhead are running from the cops,
they hide on a potato farm. They crawl into some potato bags,
the first cop pokes the bag with the brunette in it, she
says "meow" the cop confirms that it is just a cat. The second
cop pokes the bag with the redhead in it she says "woof". The
cop says that it is just a dog. The third cop pokes the bag
with the blonde in it she say in her sweetest voice "POTATO."
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Blonde Jokes Number 2
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There is a brunette and 11 blondes hanging over the edge of a
cliff off a piece of rope. They realize that the rope would
break if one of them didn't let go and they would all fall to
their deaths. The Brunette starts this big heartwarming speech
about how she is going to sacrifice herself for the others. At
the end of the speech the blondes all clap.
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Blonde Jokes Number 3
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Why won't a blonde drink a beer on the beach?
Because they don't want sand in their busch!
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Blonde Jokes Number 4
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There once was this blonde, and she was sitting at the table
with her husband eating breakfast before he went to work. Out
of the blue the blonde says,"Honey today while your at work I
am goning to paint the house." The husband says "No, no dear
don't paint the house because then when I come home from work I
will just have to clean everything up, just please don't do
it." So the husband went to work and when he came home the
house smelled like paint. Then he went up to their bedroom, and
he saw his wife laying on the floor with 2 coats on and
sweating to death. He ran over to her and said, "Honey, honey
what's wrong why on earth are you sweating to death?" She got
up and grabed the paint cane, went over to her husband and
said, "Well look at the can dummy, it says for best results put
on 2 coats!"
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Blonde Jokes Number 5
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There were two blondes walking in the woods. As they were
walking one of them noticed some tracks on the ground. One
stops the other one and says "Look deer tracks." The other
goes "Those are not deer tracks those are bear tracks." So
they fight about what they are and are not, and the next day
the paper head lines read "Two Blondes Killed By Train". |
"The Don" (Mlemus)
Advanced Member
Username: Mlemus
Post Number: 4506
Registered: 8-2002
| | Posted on Wednesday, May 07, 2003 - 9:12 pm: | |
Blonde Jokes Number 1
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How did the blonde die ice fishing?
She got ran over by the zamboni!!
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Blonde Jokes Number 2
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How did the blonde try to kill the worm?
She buried it alive.
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Blonde Jokes Number 3
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One day there was a brunett jogging down the road
saying, "66....66....66..." etc. Later down the road a blonde
comes up to her and asks her what she is doing. The brunett
replied "66...66...66" so, the blonde went to the other side of
the road and started jogging down the road
saying "66...66...66" after a while, the brunett hollers over
to the blonde and said "It's alot more fun in the middle of the
road." "Ok." replied the blonde and started jogging down the
middle of the road. Just then, a monster truck comes by and
hits the blonde. The brunett still kept jogging down the road
sayin "67...67...67."
You go girl!!
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Blonde Jokes Number 4
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One day this blonde walked into a store and said
"I`d like to buy that TV."
The salesman said "Sorry, we don't sell to blondes."
The blonde went home and dyed her hair red. She went back to
the store and said "I`d like to buy that TV."
"Sorry we don't sell to blondes." The man replied again.
She went and dyed her hair black, then returned to the store
and said "I`d like to buy that TV."
Again the man said "Sorry we don't sell to blondes."
The blonde finally asks "How did you know I was a blonde?"
The man said "Because that`s not a TV its a microwave."
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Blonde Jokes Number 5
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Q: Why did the blonde try to steal a police car?
A: She saw "911" on the back and thought it was a porche. |
Bob Campen (Bob308gts)
Member
Username: Bob308gts
Post Number: 537
Registered: 9-2001
| | Posted on Wednesday, May 07, 2003 - 9:00 pm: | |
Why does a blond wear underwear
to keep her ankles warm |
"The Don" (Mlemus)
Advanced Member
Username: Mlemus
Post Number: 4483
Registered: 8-2002
| | Posted on Wednesday, May 07, 2003 - 6:40 pm: | |
What's the first thing a blonde does in the morning?
Go home |
Drstranglove (Drstranglove)
Junior Member
Username: Drstranglove
Post Number: 210
Registered: 4-2003
| | Posted on Wednesday, May 07, 2003 - 6:36 pm: | |
What do you call a smart blond????
"Golden Retriever"
DrS |
Wyatt Hanson (Wyatth)
New member
Username: Wyatth
Post Number: 18
Registered: 5-2003
| | Posted on Wednesday, May 07, 2003 - 6:21 pm: | |
I clicked the first link, read the second post on the Lexus forum, and that gave it away... Haha, pretty good though. |
Patrick Denonville (Arizonaguy)
Junior Member
Username: Arizonaguy
Post Number: 58
Registered: 4-2003
| | Posted on Tuesday, May 06, 2003 - 9:45 pm: | |
I gave up after 6. |
Andrew Menasce (Amenasce)
Member
Username: Amenasce
Post Number: 842
Registered: 10-2001
| | Posted on Tuesday, May 06, 2003 - 9:12 pm: | |
http://www.clublexus.com/forums/showthread.php?s=&postid=577440#post577440
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