Don't get carried away...this isn't something that's happening in my life, but something I heard about today got me thinking........ You have a long time friend...best mates for years....and you have a disagreement over something. As an example, you lend your good mate a book worth a lot of money and somehow it gets lost...maybe stolen...maybe never arrived (in either direction...whatever)...but end result is that the owner of the book doesn't get the book back, and his mate doesn't have it either. So you get into a disagreement with your mate.....you blame him....he blames you. What do you do? Me? I'd go to arbitration and say "No hard feelings one way or the other, but since we can't agree on this, let's get a 3rd party to arbitrate, act on their decision and move on with our friendship unaffected" Sounds good in theory....what do you guys think? Would it make the friendship irreconcilable or is it a great solution to sort out the problem and keep the friendship?
PP should give Whom back his copy of Brideshead Revisited. Always turns nasty when whomosexuals are involved
This hypothetical "book" of yours would have to be worth a hell of a lot of money for me to even consider arbitration, let alone suing. If it was really a couple of good mates it would either be let go entirely or a settlement both parties were happy with would easily be reached.
Well Steve, that's what I'm saying. The book might be worth a lot of money AND have sentimental value. The point is based on the premise that they can't agree and the friendship will end without resolution.
In that case the friendship is gone, regardless of what you do. There is no way it could continue unaffected.
If the person who lost the book (whether accidentally or not) tries to avoid responsibility in whatever way, then they were never a 'real' friend anyway... If I lost something precious a friend had lent me, I'd be distraught, not looking to shift the blame... Having said that, as the lender I wouldn't be suing either - just write the person off as a loser and look elsewhere to maybe locate the missing item.
Don't concentrate on the book....maybe a bad example....I just can't think of anything as a real example. Let's just say it was a difference of opinion on SOMETHING but it was an important enough problem for both parties and they both thought they were right.
Ok....it's a car forum...so let's try this. You're a mechanic. Your friend is clueless about cars. He brings the car to you to service his car, as he has many times over the years. This one time, he takes the car home after a service. A couple of days later his indicators stop working and he blames you....because everything was fine before the service. Now all of us car people know he mechanically clueless guy is wrong to blame his mate the mechanic, but he's a very clever mathematician, and normally very fair, but in his mind this makes perfect sense and he's starting to get angry about his mechanic friend not accepting responsibility and fixing the indicators. Two options, fight about it forever and lose a friendship and trust, or go to arbitration and let a 3rd party decide with the understanding that whatever the outcome, it's accepted and the friendship remains. Is that better? I think better after some sleep.
Gotta get it in writing first, no matter who you're dealing with. This is an OLLLLLD story... "Hey, we're buds, what could ever go wrong???" Yeah?? BS!!! Now OTOH, if I happened to be driving a car, caused an accident that hurt my friend in the passenger seat and he had real medical issues, I wouldn't mind a bit if he had to sue to collect.
I'm talking about two friends who both have good honest intentions. Not a shonky mechanic and a customer.
The moment possessions, money, or women come between friends to the extent that it causes an intractable disagreement, is the day the friendship dies. If I couldn't forgive my friends (assuming they apologise and are contrite), then I'd seriously begin to wonder what it is I value in life.
