Looking forward to Brazil?

As the formula one bandwagon moves onto Brazil for the penultimate race of the year, the big question on our minds in Britain is, of course, how will Lewis Hamilton fit in his music career around his racing.

Admittedly, since he signed for Moantown records, emulating his musical idol, aretha franklin, the question on everyone's lips is 'how will he balance it all?'

Lewis has admitted that it will be difficult, all those choreography lessons, the tours, the impromptu concerts and one-man accapello shows. He told this reporter just yesterday, though, that formula one is actually a bonus to his music at the moment. Aside from having a car so far ahead of everyone else, he is able to put the radio on while cruising around the circuit, the Stetson he won last year in Austin is going to be put to good use. His forthcoming single, 'it's raining men' will have a bonus track, 'YMCA' on the cd, so the hat helps him play the cowboy in the video alongside several well-known celebrities, including his good friend Caitlin Jenner.

Across the garage, Nico has brought his football, and intends to mark the memory of Monaco by kicking the ball repeatedly against the wall of Lewis pit garage, remembering that it put Lewis off his game big time in 2014. Nico plans to 'show that b.......... how hard I can race' this weekend, now that Mercedes have taken the training wheels off the car, and upgraded his software to El Capitan just like Lewis.

Manor are well pleased going into the weekend, they have just had updated computers bought for them from 'Emilio' in the racepark bar, but one wonders how up to date they are, as on the bottom, there's a sticker that says 'Toyota' on them, and this observer does remember there being an incident a number of years ago involving that team at this very race. Still cash strapped teams will use anything, just ask lotus why they persist in playing bumper cars with pastor crashonaldo!

Sebastian vettel is looking to recover from a very offbeat performance last time out, but now he is out of the country, he has finally admitted that he and Kimi, being best mates, played a game the night before the race that involved taking a shot of vodka every time Lewis Hamilton said something stupid or ignorant. Kimi had obviously worked that one out previously, as Seb confirms he didn't really expect to get through 2 litres of vodka in a single session, Kimi called him a lightweight!

Red bulls engine woes continue this weekend, as Honda announce they WILL supply them with engines and gearboxes next year. Christian Horner was seen walking around with a noose and box of sleeping pills, and there have been reports of wailing from the offices of red bull management. People have been shocked to report that they haven't seen Daniel Ricciardos teeth for several hours since the announcement, and he's normally the smiling face of f1

And of course, to Brazil. As always, there is an air of tension and anticipation for the race. However, many fans are a little annoyed that Lewis Hamilton keeps claiming he is the second coming of ayrton Senna. Lewis plans to cheer those fans up with a special concert of his favourite show tunes on Friday evening, and of course, his wonderful costume for the streets of Rio, designed by Versace.



Hahahahahahahaha

 

Here we are, a hanger in Sao Pablo. Behind us, a big red private jet hums as it cools. I feel a tinge of panic as a group of men approach. Baseball caps, bright trainers, bling, and rows of gold 'grills' If this was Brooklyn, I'd be scared right now, expecting trouble, but we are here to interview Lewis Hamilton.

A dog appears, collar sparkling - it's made of diamonds - and the group of men are making a circle. 'Yo, you hear fo ma ***** Lewis?' Yes I reply, in my most submissive journalistic voice.

With that, a short, lithe figure appears against the lights of the hanger, glinting with bling, flowery shirt and what appear to be heeled trainers. Still look a bit short mate, I mutter under my breath.

The tension mounts, he approaches, for all the world trying to look the image of a street-hardened gangsta rapper. His entourage are standing there, shoulder to shoulder like they are ready to exact painful vengeance should I giggle at the sight before me.

Now he enters the light of the interview area, swaggering, dragging his feet as he goes. I'm expecting a gruff, tough voice to emanate and take control........

Hellooooooo, what do you think of my plane? Says a squeaky English accent

I try to hold a straight face as the tension is replaced by humour. Image shattered, Lewis wants to talk about his music, clothes, and, as always, how he always knew he was the second coming of ayrton Senna, and he has no recognition of the ridiculousness in comparing himself to such a legend. Number of titles, yes, class, no, talent, hardly, fan dedication, barely.

After ten minutes of hearing how good he is, and how Nico Rosberg is always annoyed about something, and how the only reason he gave the win away at the last race was because Mercedes were being nice to Nico, I can't hold it in anymore, and I poke my tongue out at him and leave him to his delusions

 

Sorry mate, I had the idea and figured I'd forget the story if I didn't get it down! Watch the 2006 recording, a cracker, with Michael fighting from the back and helping Massa.

 

Let's hope the teams all have mileage left on their engines sufficient to turn them all up to eleven this weekend and the next. I love that last corner into the straight section, building massive speed all the way around and up the hill. Pump some V10 music over the trackside speakers and we may almost think we are back to fast exciting F1!

 

Hahahhaha, I know, it was just posted in another thread, I reckon he thought it was nicos car, and drove into it rather than let it pull out of the parking space!