72 Ft Tug on ebay: Most Well Written- funniest Boat Ad I have ever read

This guy's writing is entertaining. Lot's of ways to sell something, and this fits the bill for this type of boat. Makes one think..why not.

It will soon be lost on Ebay so below is the c&p plus a few pics.

Tug Boat Live Aboard 72' All Steel Vessel Tugboat Livaboard | eBay

What do Captain Kirk, Popeye, Captain Hook and Tommy Lee have in common? They are all incredible people. Why? Because they were all in command of ships. You should be in command of a ship. You should buy my friend’s steel 72’ diesel tugboat.

I can offer you the opportunity to be in command of this fully-furnished historic vessel floating in paradise for less than the cost of that efficiency you bought or are thinking of buying after spending three weeks researching it online. You should be ashamed of that condo you spent (or are thinking about spending) your hard earned cash money and time on – especially since it cannot even move. It will not take you across oceans and it will not get you a Goombay Punch in Bullocks Harbour. Not even close muchacho.

I understand you have many options on how to spend your free time. How one chooses to recreate and habitate says a lot about a human being. What I am offering you is the open Atlantic Ocean, fishing, going to islands, breathing salty air at sea, maintaining a diesel engine, drinking rum, drinking grog, drinking cheap beer, drinking expensive beer, drinking the dead sea monkeys floating in the drink that your friend backwashed into, spearfishing anything that moves, endless supply of fish to make into tacos, trapping crabs, getting crabs, a waterfront kitchen, the ability to tow an even larger vessel, the ability to bbq a t-bone steak while motoring across the Gulf Stream at 7 knots, the chance to see whales, the opportunity to catch a square grouper. These are fine things. These are gentlemanly things. They certainly beat sitting in car traffic past a bunch of strip malls in Hialeah or driving a boat in circles in the STD filled cesspool commonly referred to as the Intracoastal or any other Florida waterway. This yacht travels as fast as your Bentley on I-95 in traffic. And you spent over $230k.

Always wanted an ocean view? See above description of how lucky you are! This boat comes with an ocean view of your choosing! Imagine a house that could do that. Those creepy realtor types would be drooling all the way to the bank. For the rental price of an ocean front house you could buy a boat like this every month of the year. In fact for $12,000,000 (reasonable price for an oceanfront house) you could buy 120 boats like this. That's more than the entire navy of the Bahamas.

Boat Includes
-- 7’ propeller.
-- Detroit Diesel engine with 175 hours (practically new).
-- All furnishings, including clothes washer, couches, TVs, broken-in beds.
-- 140 ton steel hull.
-- Reverse osmosis system.
-- The book Boating for Dummies (You must have an IQ of at least 30 to learn how to drive a boat).
-- A bunch of life vests.

If you are a doomsday prepper then you have just hit the Powerball jackpot. Feel free to go into convulsions right now because when the $#!+ hits the fan back home (and it will as you know and have read online) do you want to be on the roof of your neighborhood liquor store with a high powered rifle or in the open ocean reading Moby Dick (or some other literature or periodical of your choosing) with a cold rum drink in your steady hands?

In Summary: This boat is cheap, it gives you access to unlimited fruity rum drinks, it is more fun than your current hobbies, it is fast, it has an ocean view, it comes with a TV, comes with everything you need and it might be helpful in case of a disaster. Most importantly it puts you in command of a ship. Go ahead break a bottle of Champagne over the bow and leave your land based life behind in your wake.

Seriously, though...
Comes back to Fort Lauderdale, FL, periodically. Runs perfectly even in big seas. Sits heavy. Very comfortable vessel for cruising or living aboard in your location of choice. 2010 haul, no survey. Extremely sea worthy - travels to Florida from her location in the Bahamas. Double steel plated bottom, re-plated 2000 by Norfolk shipyard.

Maximum range with fuel is over 8,000 miles while running the generator. Cruise speed is 7 knots. 1.1 miles to the gallon (or 7.7 gallons per hour). That is very inexpensive to operate such a large vessel, especially when buying diesel in bulk at around $3.30 - $3.40 / gallon.

Yes it can stay at its current dockage in Great Harbour Cay, Bahamas. The spot is beautiful in a protected yacht basin / hurricane hole in the heart of the island with very deep water. I own the land and dock and the home under construction in the photos which will be done in May. Rent is $950 per month plus electricity which is metered. Water is free / included and the tug has a serious reverse osmosis system for further purification. The tug also has a full size washing machine and air conditioning throughout.

Great Harbour Cay has amazing people, an airport with customs and scheduled air service to the US and Bahamas destinations, restaurants, bars, world class fishing, serenity, miles of beaches, reefs for fishing and diving, a small town with supplies and services, spectacular beauty, etc. We absolutely love it there. Close to Nassau and all points in the Bahamas and the US (one hour to Fort Lauderdale / Miami / West Palm Beach). There is more info online. It has all of the necessary services and amenities but still a rustic Caribbean island vibe without a single traffic light. Total hurricane protection in the basin. The two boats pictured only got a little dirty in hurricane sandy when it passed directly over the island last year. Additionally the boat is fully capable of a circumnavigation type trip. The boat is ready for new romances and adventures.

500 gallons of diesel, all furniture pictured (less personal effects like cosmetics and photos) and inflatable tender with engine included in sale. Turn key.

Call Mark at 242.464.4843 with any questions.
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