| Author | Message | ||
| DES (Sickspeed)
Senior Member Username: Sickspeed Post Number: 6560 Registered: 8-2002 |
Martin, baby, what's happening down there...? What are you up to...? Hurricane hit you hard or what...? What's shakin'...? Tell the lovely Mrs. Martin i said hello... | ||
| Martin - Cavallino Motors (Miami348ts)
Senior Member Username: Miami348ts Post Number: 6198 Registered: 5-2001 |
 | ||
| Martin - Cavallino Motors (Miami348ts)
Senior Member Username: Miami348ts Post Number: 6197 Registered: 5-2001 |
you guys....shaking my head! | ||
| DES (Sickspeed)
Senior Member Username: Sickspeed Post Number: 6556 Registered: 8-2002 |
Dom, don't ever hesitate to post them or email them to me... i'm not sure what i could give up in order to keep FerrariChat... Smoking, chocolate, coke - they're all hard addictions... | ||
| Gordo A. (Gordo)
Junior Member Username: Gordo Post Number: 96 Registered: 2-2003 |
OK, now I have been to the pub I am cookin on gas! I am afraid beer would be easier to kick than this place. Help | ||
| Matt (Matt_lamotte)
Member Username: Matt_lamotte Post Number: 557 Registered: 10-2002 |
Dom, I'm speechless. | ||
| PeterS (Peters)
Intermediate Member Username: Peters Post Number: 1541 Registered: 1-2003 |
Here are some options for your propane BBQ if the bottle runs out of gas   | ||
| MarkPDX (Markpdx)
Member Username: Markpdx Post Number: 545 Registered: 4-2003 |
Mmmmm.... BBQ dog  | ||
| MarkPDX (Markpdx)
Member Username: Markpdx Post Number: 544 Registered: 4-2003 |
How will you ever cook a cow at 175 degrees? And what would stop a cow from climbing out of the hot tub if it got too warm? It's a lot easier to just rent a really big pot. Plus you can bring to a boil and then drop the cow in. Just be sure to wear earplugs as there will be some awful mooing noises for a minute or two.  | ||
| Gordo A. (Gordo)
Junior Member Username: Gordo Post Number: 92 Registered: 2-2003 |
Try the suggestion from DES. Put the cow in the hot tub AND then turn up the heat. Works for frogs, should work for cows right? Theory is it will stay put. Try some raisins too! | ||
| PeterS (Peters)
Intermediate Member Username: Peters Post Number: 1540 Registered: 1-2003 |
Gordo..The problem with beef is getting the cow to stay in my hottub that is set at 175 degrees!...Is this thread 'going south'? | ||
| Gordo A. (Gordo)
Junior Member Username: Gordo Post Number: 90 Registered: 2-2003 |
But beef is still OK? | ||
| PeterS (Peters)
Intermediate Member Username: Peters Post Number: 1537 Registered: 1-2003 |
OK..Call me a wuss...In Chicago last week, I ate at Pappadaux's and had all-you-can-eat lobster. It was awesome. I did ask the waitress to de-head the lobster prior to serving it to me. Doing this on my own kinda grosses me out. After I saw a lady go through her windshield a few years ago in a head-on, I don't even clean fish anymore. | ||
| Dom Vitarella (Dom)
Member Username: Dom Post Number: 450 Registered: 11-2002 |
Yea, I should have mentioned that I didn't believe the story was true. It was an e-mail passed around a couple of years ago. Never believe that stuff. But entertaining anyway. DES: I've got a few other good (tasteless) stories. Used to get tons of e-mails, etc. Does anybody remember alt.tastless.* usenet groups? Dom | ||
| PeterS (Peters)
Intermediate Member Username: Peters Post Number: 1536 Registered: 1-2003 |
Gordo..I tried throwing them on the BBQ live once...They kept opening the hood and walking off..Really pissed me off | ||
| MarkPDX (Markpdx)
Member Username: Markpdx Post Number: 506 Registered: 4-2003 |
FWIW Snopes has a few things to say about Dom's lobster story. Here is a link. | ||
| DES (Sickspeed)
Senior Member Username: Sickspeed Post Number: 6517 Registered: 8-2002 |
Michael, i'm admittedly gullible, sorry... However, that site suggests that the frog thing is only partly false and it appears that only one test was conducted to come to that conclusion... | ||
| Michael Basic (Sensational1)
New member Username: Sensational1 Post Number: 21 Registered: 2-2003 |
That is some storry Dom! And btw, DES, the boiling pot and frog story is a myth! It is not even true! http://www.snopes.com/critters/wild/frogboil.htm | ||
| DES (Sickspeed)
Senior Member Username: Sickspeed Post Number: 6515 Registered: 8-2002 |
Dom... That you even know a story like that makes me respect you even more than i already do. that you posted it, is even better... You, sir, are the man. That is one awesome lobster 'tale'... Thank you. If anyone else gives you •••• for it, too bad; you gave a fair warning... | ||
| Dom Vitarella (Dom)
Member Username: Dom Post Number: 449 Registered: 11-2002 |
Warning: The following is a truly TASTELESS Lobster story (rated R). Please do not read if this sort of thing offends you. One morning around 5am 22 year old Susan DaLucci of Kittery Maine, woke up with a painful need to urinate. At first she thought she had diarrhea, but when she stood up out of bed, she realized that it was urinary pain. It was very similar to the feeling of having diarrhea, just out the wrong hole. She wobbled to the toilet and upon sitting on it, her vagina erupted into the most horrific messy farting noise anyone has ever heard. In paralyzing pain, Ms. DeLucci for the next few minutes continued to push and squirt out of her vagina a burning tide of wretch and filth while she gripped the sides of the toilet, white-knuckled. She was screaming wildly, and the neighbors called the police. When medics arrived they found Ms. DaLucci unconscious lying on the floor of her bathroom wearing nothing but her bath robe. Running down her leg, was a stream of brown and green syrup. The medic had to transfer her to a stretcher, so he grabbed her left leg which was bent crossing her other leg, to straighten her out. She was lying there all twisted up. When he lifted her left leg to straighten her body out, he exposed her vagina at which point a creature, no larger than the tip of a finger wormed its way out of her genitals and landed on the floor with a wet popping sound. Shocked, the medic stared at the creature that was lying on the tile bathroom floor in a casing of mucous. It was a tiny mud shrimp and it sat there on the cold floor gasping for water while flipping itself back and forth. The horrified medic turned to the toilet as he felt the nausea setting in. When he put his face down into the toilet to puke what he saw was so horrific that to this day he cannot look into a toilet without convulsing. The entire toilet bowl was boiling with baby brown mud shrimp flipping and splashing at a furious pace. If you think that is bad - wait until you hear how it happened: Ms. DeLucci official death was the result of a combination of shock and severe head trauma. She stood up over the toilet in pain and when she saw what she had done, she went into shock and fell, smashing her head on the toilet and then on the floor. It is believed by medical police that on two nights before the accident she had purchased a live lobster at a fish market. While lying in a tub, she gently inserted the creature's tail into her vagina to derive pleasure. At that point, she held a lighter under the creature's face causing it to flip its tail in a violent snapping motion. The medics found a lesbian XXX video in the VCR and the TV was positioned on a table in front of the tub. The lobster was found in the kitchen garbage can wrapped in a paper bag. Traces of Ms. DeLucci's DNA were found on the lobster along with pubic hairs that had wedged themselves between the lobster tail joints. The lobster's face was lightly burned with the same fuel used in lighters. The lobster's digestive track and colon were found to be full of mud shrimp egg casings. Doctors believe that the lobster had eaten them (they are common in the water at fish markets and are usually harmlessly boiled to death) and the lobster had crapped them out into Ms. DeLucci's •••• when she was torturing it. Maine mud shrimp only take two days to gestate and Ms. DeLucci was only four days away from getting her period, doctors believe that at that point of her menstrual cycle, her womb was the perfect PH balance to grow these mud shrimp which are a much larger version of the popular "Sea Monkey" pets sold throughout the US. Over night the eggs had hatched and the mud shrimp began doubling in size every ten minutes. You can imagine the pain she was in when she woke up that morning and gave birth to well over 1,000 mud shrimp in her toilet. | ||
| Mr. Doody (Doody)
Intermediate Member Username: Doody Post Number: 1758 Registered: 11-2001 |
although it's rather disconcerting to watch, the best lobster preparations i've enjoyed have been rather unpleasant for the lobster. if you order lobster in a fine restaurant, don't ask how it's prepared - just enjoy it. i have friends who do some magical things with lobster. totally delicious. utterly tasty. but the vivisection is more than unpleasant to witness. and let's not forget lobster sushi. i've never had it, but apparently the dish is served to the diner with the tail still twitching. there are some nasty bacteria in lobsters inside the shell. you have to either kill them with heat or eat them before they get nasty - so sushi lobster requires insanely "fresh-killed" lobster. enjoy your dinner :-) doody. | ||
| Gordo A. (Gordo)
Junior Member Username: Gordo Post Number: 89 Registered: 2-2003 |
Are we talking chuck those suckers on the BBQ alive? Please tell me it isnt so! | ||
| PeterS (Peters)
Intermediate Member Username: Peters Post Number: 1535 Registered: 1-2003 |
Lobsters are also good on the BBQ...YUM! | ||
| DES (Sickspeed)
Senior Member Username: Sickspeed Post Number: 6503 Registered: 8-2002 |
Bovine Spongiform Encephalopathy... Mmmmm, scrumptuous... In all seriousness, i read an article about many months ago; it's actually an extremely dangerous "thing" that's almost impossible to kill... Mmmmm, scrumptuous... | ||
| Gordo A. (Gordo)
Junior Member Username: Gordo Post Number: 88 Registered: 2-2003 |
Des, time to cut down on the mad cow intake...  | ||
| DES (Sickspeed)
Senior Member Username: Sickspeed Post Number: 6502 Registered: 8-2002 |
Gordo, federal law states that i'm not allowed to talk about it unless in the presence of a police officer and speaking to a judge... Things got pretty froggy at one point; i even changed my name to Kermit... Then there was this whole thing about ovulation and lily pads... Sigh... i can't go into it... | ||
| Gordo A. (Gordo)
Junior Member Username: Gordo Post Number: 87 Registered: 2-2003 |
In the privacy of the Ferrarichat forum I believe my secret is safe, nobody uses it anyway. I want to know what you got up to with the frogs. Actually, no, I don't... | ||
| DES (Sickspeed)
Senior Member Username: Sickspeed Post Number: 6500 Registered: 8-2002 |
Gordo, you have no problem admitting that...? | ||
| Gordo A. (Gordo)
Junior Member Username: Gordo Post Number: 86 Registered: 2-2003 |
At least mine is first hand experience! | ||
| DES (Sickspeed)
Senior Member Username: Sickspeed Post Number: 6495 Registered: 8-2002 |
LOL, PeterS... Philip, i've never personally tested it, but i have no reason to disbelieve its validity... | ||
| philip (Fanatic1)
Member Username: Fanatic1 Post Number: 438 Registered: 2-2003 |
Des, Is that true about the raisin....... | ||
| PeterS (Peters)
Intermediate Member Username: Peters Post Number: 1534 Registered: 1-2003 |
Great..Now there is two guys smoking something good! | ||
| DES (Sickspeed)
Senior Member Username: Sickspeed Post Number: 6492 Registered: 8-2002 |
Gordo... If you throw a frog into a pot of boiling water, it will jump out; if you put a frog into a pot of water, THEN boil it, it will sit in there and die... Take a raisin and drop it in a gls of champagne; it will continuously rise and fall in the glass... | ||
| Gordo A. (Gordo)
Junior Member Username: Gordo Post Number: 85 Registered: 2-2003 |
Before you put them in the pot don't forget to hypnotise them... Stand them up on their heads with claws folded back forming a sort of tripod. Gently stoke your finger along the bone that starts at the head and protrudes out between the eyes. You will have to hold them still while you are doing it. After about ten seconds they will stand their motionless for several minutes. Believe it or NOT | ||
| DES (Sickspeed)
Senior Member Username: Sickspeed Post Number: 6487 Registered: 8-2002 |
PeterS, ROTFLMAO...! | ||
| PeterS (Peters)
Intermediate Member Username: Peters Post Number: 1531 Registered: 1-2003 |
DES..What are you smoking??? (Please send some to PO Box 5971 Sonora,CA 91234) Philip..Don't forget to have Lobster Races in your kitchen before cooking. Paint a number on the top of each lobster. Make a few lanes with 3/4" masking tape on your kitchen floor with a finish line. Start the lobsters and have fun! (Scudia shields on the sides of the lobsters are optional) | ||
| DES (Sickspeed)
Senior Member Username: Sickspeed Post Number: 6486 Registered: 8-2002 |
| ||
| philip (Fanatic1)
Member Username: Fanatic1 Post Number: 437 Registered: 2-2003 |
Wow Des............Now I know it's FRIDAY!! | ||
| DES (Sickspeed)
Senior Member Username: Sickspeed Post Number: 6485 Registered: 8-2002 |
What the hell are your guests gonna do with drawn butter...? Can't you afford real butter...? Why would you draw it...? Lobster is expensive, if you can't afford butter, then don't buy such expensive foods like Lobster... Buy salmon or something and then you'll be able afford butter... Are you even a good enough artist to draw butter so that it actually looks like butter...? That was really random, Philip, i'm a little worried... | ||
| philip (Fanatic1)
Member Username: Fanatic1 Post Number: 435 Registered: 2-2003 |
Sounds pretty easy................thanks everyone! | ||
| Jim Schad (Jim_schad)
Intermediate Member Username: Jim_schad Post Number: 1879 Registered: 7-2002 |
Be careful with the claws filling with boiling water. When you open those bad boys up that stuff squirts out and burns! 15 mins is what I used and it was fine for about a 2lb lobster. Certainly some of the Jersey/Boston boys can educate us. | ||
| Gordo A. (Gordo)
Junior Member Username: Gordo Post Number: 84 Registered: 2-2003 |
OK, I am sure there are some real experts out there but here goes, this always works for me anyway... 1. Open a good bottle of wine 2. Boil a large pot of water 3. Drop 'em in whole 4. Time depends to a degree on size... 1 lb? 2lb? or monster? Typically 10-15 minutes for the average size does me 5. Pick them out, pull off the claws, take a large knife and cut the lobster from head to tail right down the middle. Yank out the greeny bits in the main body 6. By now you should be ready for another a good bottle of wine 6. Eat & Drink! And dont worry, it is really hard to wreck them even if you leave them in a few minutes too long! | ||
| philip (Fanatic1)
Member Username: Fanatic1 Post Number: 432 Registered: 2-2003 |
Okay, so this is REALLY off topic...........I'm going to cook a couple of lobsters tonight......just serve them boiled with drawn butter............Should I steam them.....or can I just drop them in boiling water........how long before they are done.....then when I serve them, to I cut off the claws and tail and that's it.........sorry guys, I hope there are some cooks out there. |