| Author | Message | ||
| DES (Sickspeed)
Advanced Member Username: Sickspeed Post Number: 3435 Registered: 8-2002 |
Dave, NO FAIR...! You can't ask other people to post spit warnings if you won't post one, yourself... This ••••'ll never come out of my keyboard... i'm sending you the bill, you assclown...  | ||
| Dave (Maranelloman)
Intermediate Member Username: Maranelloman Post Number: 1161 Registered: 1-2002 |
WMHart: I have a client, who shall remain unnamed, but let's just say is a VERY controversial outfit. They have been facing all sorts of frivolous lawsuits for experimenting on chickens. I am right now in the midst of defending them from all sorts of web-based libel that suggests that one of their alleged guinea-pig chickens escaped and is writing its memiors of alleged torture. It's amazing what people will believe on the web! | ||
| Martin - Cavallino Motors (Miami348ts)
Advanced Member Username: Miami348ts Post Number: 4352 Registered: 5-2001 |
Martin: Never believe it truely was a Chicken in the first place. The government is trying to make you believe that it is a chicken but it really is a ploy to get KFC into Iraq. Besides, if it did not have a prancing horse in the front and back it is not worth running over it in the first place! Besides make sure the chicken is not a religious chicken. we don't need more of those Jesuickens! | ||
| Marcus Mayeux (Mmayeux73)
Member Username: Mmayeux73 Post Number: 415 Registered: 4-2002 |
I think I pissed my pants! | ||
| ross koller (Ross)
Intermediate Member Username: Ross Post Number: 1083 Registered: 3-2002 |
very funny ! am surprised you left out martin and whart. | ||
| Charles Barton (Airbarton)
Member Username: Airbarton Post Number: 425 Registered: 11-2002 |
You guys are hard core! LMAO. | ||
| DES (Sickspeed)
Advanced Member Username: Sickspeed Post Number: 3405 Registered: 8-2002 |
LMAO, i change the link, regularly, trying to be random; makes it fun when people look at my profile - like you guys...! | ||
| Dave (Maranelloman)
Intermediate Member Username: Maranelloman Post Number: 1155 Registered: 1-2002 |
Oh...my...GAWD! That's revolting, DES! Baby got back, eh?  | ||
| Paul Wehmer (Pwehmer)
Junior Member Username: Pwehmer Post Number: 128 Registered: 10-2002 |
DES- what does your home page link on your profile tell us about you? Maybe it's a popular website for the old VW and Porsche guys. You know- they're rear engined. | ||
| J Michael Jordan (Fonce_r_cheval)
New member Username: Fonce_r_cheval Post Number: 46 Registered: 11-2002 |
DES: to get to his computer for another post. | ||
| DES (Sickspeed)
Advanced Member Username: Sickspeed Post Number: 3395 Registered: 8-2002 |
LMAO, Jim, i add to it, whenever i buy something... Hubert, you were one of the first ones i thought of and so DESperately wanted to include you but my vocabulary isn't NEARLY as big enough to comment on what a comment from you, about a chicken crossing the road, would be like... Believe me, had i the capacity to convey in a formal style, what everyone else does colloquially, your thoughts on the chicken, i would have done so... | ||
| arthur chambers (Art355)
Intermediate Member Username: Art355 Post Number: 1305 Registered: 6-2001 |
Des & Dave: The two of you make a terrible combination. LMAO Art | ||
| Hubert Otlik (Hugh)
Member Username: Hugh Post Number: 723 Registered: 1-2002 |
I got left out too. | ||
| Jim Schad (Jim_schad)
Intermediate Member Username: Jim_schad Post Number: 1010 Registered: 7-2002 |
Holy •••• DES. I just looked at your profile. How long did it take you to type in all those scale models? | ||
| DES (Sickspeed)
Advanced Member Username: Sickspeed Post Number: 3392 Registered: 8-2002 |
Jere, i wanted to include you, but wasn't sure what i could accurately say to depict you without being too general or possibly offending... Those suggestions, however, are very funny... If you can't laugh at yourself, who can you laugh at...? Jim, now my stomach hurts from laughing... That's very accurate and very funny... i'm dying, here... | ||
| Jim Schad (Jim_schad)
Intermediate Member Username: Jim_schad Post Number: 1009 Registered: 7-2002 |
DES: Oh my GOD you will not believe what happened to me last night. As I approaced the road in my nissan sentra with 104,000 miles I saw in the glimmering light of the moon a beatiful, sleek, white fluffy chicken! A CHICKEN! A CHICKEN! A CHICKEN! A CHICKEN! A CHICKEN! A CHICKEN! A CHICKEN! A CHICKEN! A CHICKEN! A CHICKEN! A CHICKEN! A CHICKEN! A CHICKEN! A CHICKEN! A CHICKEN! A CHICKEN! A CHICKEN! A CHICKEN! A CHICKEN! A CHICKEN!Can you freaking believe that! I almost crapped my pants as I approached the chicken. I so badly wanted to touch the chicken, but it was desperately trying to cross the road adn I didn't want to interfere with this divine moment. etc. etc. etc.... | ||
| Jere Dunham (Questioner)
Member Username: Questioner Post Number: 367 Registered: 1-2003 |
Des, I am disappoointed. You left me out. Let's see: So he could go up and apologize for insulting Jere's frail ego. So Jere could tell him some classified secrets about the operating speed of aircraft carriers. So he could ask Jere if Jere's friend would take him for a ride in the McLaren F1. Any of those work? | ||
| Eric Eiland (Eric308gtsiqv)
Member Username: Eric308gtsiqv Post Number: 738 Registered: 11-2001 |
Dave and DES...that was hilarious!!! Side still hurts from laughing. | ||
| DES (Sickspeed)
Advanced Member Username: Sickspeed Post Number: 3390 Registered: 8-2002 |
Dave, i knew yours would be the funniest... i'm dying, here, LOL... | ||
| Pat Pasqualini (Enzo)
Member Username: Enzo Post Number: 399 Registered: 2-2002 |
DES LMAO | ||
| Dave (Maranelloman)
Intermediate Member Username: Maranelloman Post Number: 1153 Registered: 1-2002 |
DES: The chicken crossed the road because it was trying to get away from the corporate-paid BS from the mainstream media outlets. It knew better. It knew that all 3 Bushes are anti-Semites who enabled Hitler and who made Texas secede & become New Afghanistan. | ||
| Horsefly (Arlie)
Member Username: Arlie Post Number: 995 Registered: 5-2002 |
The government orchestrated the entire "chicken crossing the road" incident. It was all a distractionary diversion. The real action was going on several miles down the road where several flatbed trailers loaded with captured alien spacecraft were being transported from one secret compound to another. | ||
| DES (Sickspeed)
Advanced Member Username: Sickspeed Post Number: 3389 Registered: 8-2002 |
LMAO...! | ||
| L. Wayne Ausbrooks (Lwausbrooks)
Intermediate Member Username: Lwausbrooks Post Number: 1434 Registered: 8-2002 |
I could come up with one for DES but I don't have the time or energy it would take to write 12 pages of prose DEScribing what government conspiracies were involved in covering up the incident. | ||
| DES (Sickspeed)
Advanced Member Username: Sickspeed Post Number: 3388 Registered: 8-2002 |
Thanks, Dave... i wanted to include MFZ, Art & Randall as well as some others, but wasn't sure how and didn't want to say something that might offend - this whole thing is in humor, of course... i think you tagged them pretty well... i was gonna put something for myself but then thought one of you could come up with something a lot funnier... | ||
| Dave (Maranelloman)
Intermediate Member Username: Maranelloman Post Number: 1151 Registered: 1-2002 |
BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!! Hilarious, DES! Don't forget these: MFZ: because clearly the US was oppressing it Randall: forget the chicken's plight; let's focus on why the US is ignoring its own misdeeds and trying to obscure them with the chicken story Art: if we would just spend more public funds (read: taxes), we would have a much more contented chicken who mighht not be as restless | ||
| L. Wayne Ausbrooks (Lwausbrooks)
Intermediate Member Username: Lwausbrooks Post Number: 1433 Registered: 8-2002 |
lol | ||
| DES (Sickspeed)
Advanced Member Username: Sickspeed Post Number: 3385 Registered: 8-2002 |
Why did the chicken cross the road: Dave (Maranelloman): To get away from the assclowns! EFWUN: Why the chicken crossed the road is irrelevant, rather, let's focus on the torque generated by the chicken, while crossing the road. Rob Lay: ChickenChat.com is sponsoring a Ferrari 355 Challenge car; guess which chicken will be driving the car? i'll tell you Friday. Matt Lemus: 'cause it was OFF TOPIC!!! James Glickenhaus: i remember almost running over a chicken in my Dueseldorf, during a Sunday drive with Princess Di, in the South of France, many years ago. L. Wayne Ausbrooks: After being restored, chicken serial #: 04118 was relocated to the other side of the road for a chance at winning Le Mans in 1964; A horrible accident in turn 6 on the 12th lap caused the chicken irrepairable damage and it was ultimately parted out to another team, KFC. TimN: Last week, while practicing for a rowing meet, i whacked a chicken with an oar. Ernesto: To get away from all the scoops and wings. AllanLambo: 'cause it couldn't handle all the scoops and wings and NOS and... Frank: It was never a real chicken to begin with. Bruce Wellington: CAUSE IT WAS ON THE SAUCE! GO HOME, YA FRIGGIN' CHICKEN. Arlie: Because it as obviously more interested in the '64 Chevy on the other side of the road, than your over-priced garage queen Ferrari. Chris Sawyerr: We are raffling the chicken off. $100 per raffle ticket, the raffle starts in August, but you can start buying tickets now. Jonas: i'm the chicken's agent and i own the road it crossed. | ||
| DES (Sickspeed)
Advanced Member Username: Sickspeed Post Number: 3382 Registered: 8-2002 |
BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHA That's just too funny...! | ||
| Dave (Maranelloman)
Intermediate Member Username: Maranelloman Post Number: 1140 Registered: 1-2002 |
Here is the 2003 chicken update: GEORGE W. BUSH We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road or not. The chicken is either with us or it is against us. There is no middle ground here. AL GORE I invented the chicken. I invented the road. Therefore, the chicken crossing the road represented the application of these two different functions of government in a new, reinvented way designed to bring greater services to the American people. BILL CLINTON I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What do you mean by chicken? Could you define chicken, please? COLIN POWELL Now at the left of the screen, you clearly see the satellite image of the chicken crossing the road. HANZ BLIX We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not yet been allowed access to the other side of the road. MOHAMMED ALDOURI (Iraq ambassador) The chicken did not cross the road. This is a complete fabrication. We don't even have a chicken. SADDAM HUSSEIN This was an unprovoked act of rebellion and we were quite justified in dropping 50 tons of nerve gas on it. RALPH NADER The chicken's habitat on the original side of the road had been polluted by unchecked industrialist greed. The chicken did not reach the unspoiled habitat on the other side of the road because it was crushed by the wheels of a gas-guzzling SUV. PAT BUCHANAN The chicken crossed the road to steal a job from a decent, hard-working American. RUSH LIMBAUGH I don't know why the chicken crossed the road, but I'll bet it was getting a government grant to cross the road, and I'll bet someone out there is already forming a support group to help chickens with crossing-the-road syndrome. Can you believe this? How much more of this can real Americans take? Chickens crossing the road paid for by their tax dollars, and when I say tax dollars, I'm talking about your money, money the government took from you to build roads for chickens to cross. MARTHA STEWART No one called to warn me which way that chicken was going. I had a standing order at the farmer's market to sell my eggs when the price dropped to a certain level. No little bird gave me any insider information. JERRY FALWELL Because the chicken was gay! Isn't it obvious? Can't you people see the plain truth in front of your face? The chicken was going to the "other side." That's what they call it -- the other side. Yes, my friends, that chicken is gay. And, if you eat that chicken, you will become gay too. I say we boycott all chickens until we sort out this abomination that the liberal media whitewashes with seemingly harmless phrases like "the other side" and "tolerance". DR. SEUSS Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes, The chicken crossed the road, But why it crossed, I've not been told! ERNEST HEMINGWAY To die. In the rain. Alone. MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR. I envision a world where all chickens will be free to cross roads without having their motives called into question. GRANDPA In my day, we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Someone told us that the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough for us. BARBARA WALTERS Isn't that interesting? In a few moments we will be listening to the chicken tell, for the first time, the heart-warming story of how it experienced a serious case of molting and went on to accomplish its life-long dream of crossing the road. JOHN LENNON Imagine all the chickens crossing roads in peace. ARISTOTLE It is the nature of chickens to cross the road. KARL MARX It was an historical inevitability. VOLTAIRE I may not agree with what the chicken did, but I will defend to the death its right to do it. RONALD REAGAN What chicken? CAPTAIN KIRK To boldly go where no chicken has gone before. FOX MULDER You saw it cross the road with your own eyes! How many more chickens have to cross before you believe it? SIGMUND FREUD The fact that you are at all concerned that the chicken crossed the road reveals your underlying sexual insecurity. BILL GATES I have just released e-Chicken 2003, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your checkbook and Internet Explorer is an inextricable part of e-chicken. ALBERT EI NSTEIN Did the chicken really cross the road or did the road move beneath the chicken? THE BIBLE And God came down from the heavens, and He said unto the chicken, "Thou shalt cross the road." And the chicken crossed the road, and there was much rejoicing." COLONEL SANDERS I missed one? |