I've experienced this twice in the last couple months--people using private invitation lists to solicit business. #1. My brother in law is a guy who is almost 50 and just can't get his head out of his ass long enough to realize that everything isn't the fault of the world conspiring against him. My wife and her sibs planned a 50th anniversary party for their parents. A lot of work, but pretty straight-forward. Her brother's flavor of the month is real estate, so he asked their mom recently for the invitation list from the party so he could send them his info. Well, my wife was in charge of the invites, so she said "no". So their mom pieced together the list on her own for him to use. #2. Went to a marriage/gay union for a friend from college. I've only met his partner once before because they live out East. It was a nice ceremony and party at a restaurant. We bought them a nice gift. Again, all straight forward stuff. This week we received a letter in the mail from the partner's mother soliciting her (surprise!) real estate business. Obviously I had never met her before, and I said only the briefest of "congratulations" to her at the ceremony. Maybe I'm old-fashioned, but are there no boundaries any more? Is this a trend, or even just a real estate thing? If the guy's mom had taken a few minutes to talk to me and ask if it was OK to send some info, I would say yes. But I think it's very tasteless to throw a party and then hit up the guests with solicitations. Just another bead in the me-first mosaic of our society I suppose.
It was bad enough when companies you did business with sold your info to advertisers, now you have to worry about being on party guest lists!
Wouldnt you prefer to do business with a friend or relative? Or at least have the option which is impossible if you dont know they are in a specific business? I see no issue with this at all. Is it really all that much hassle to just toss the mail piece if your not interested? They may get some business from it. Getting business can be tough, particularly if your new. I do lots of direct mail including mail to prior clients and friends. Newsletters.. that of thing. I get lots of business from it. I have never had a complaint. While nobody got on my lists by my ripping off a party guest list, the idea does not offend me. Marketing is capitalism. If you dont like it, toss the marketing piece. His wasted nickel. But why bust on someone for trying to make a living? Terry
While ballsiness is close, sociolinguistically, "chutzpah" defines this audacious behavior. _ Send her a 50 cent coupon for bagged spinach.
Actually, I think it is mostly a RE thing. I guess a hand written card saying, "nice meeting you, if you ever need anything I'd be happy to help", wouldn't be too bad. I did meet a RE guy at a party once and he was working the party, no doubt.
Some people just don't "get it" - as evidenced by some of the replies here. People who don't get it, generally don't get anywhere because they are too busy thinking of themselves and what's best for them to actually solve people's problems which is what earns people cash. The irony is the people who don't get it THINK they are solving folks' problems but they are just BSing themselves into believeing that to cover for their own selfishness. If someone solicited business from me that way, they'd guarentee that they would never ever see my business. Ever. Woe betide the person who does a followup call and gets an earful and a half.
No. At the end of the day failing a family member is about a billion times worse than failing a customer. If you don't know what a family member does for their living, you aren't "close" enough to use the "family ties" as an in. It's not the "effort" it requires to throw somthing out, it's the effort of thinking about a family member spamming you and how to avoid them as much as possible from now on, having a weird conversation with them, telling them no for a few reasons, getting a call or seeing them and having them ask you why you didn't return the info/ call them about the offer or plain old losing some shine on that relationship. It may not offend you but it may offend others and while you can't protect the feelings of everyone, you can limit the chances you have at offending someone. I sold door to door for awhile and some people would tell me off inside of two seconds, others would hear me out with me knowing they either weren't interested or just not at ease because some big brute was in their home and others were just too weak to say no. I didn't hear of any complaints in the four years I sold but I can name many times when someone didn't want to deal with me {for any reason}. Marketing is capitalism is fine, in their own domains. If a small child wants to sell bars for school, fine. If a teenager wants to sell tickets to a school play, fine. If a family member wants money/ time/ assets/ information/ contacts or whatever for an idea or product they have, then you're in a sticky spot between going ahead, risking the deal and your relationship and saying no and explaining why {again the feelings and family relationship comes back into play.} I wouldn't ever ask a family member for a loan, support or help other than asking questions about a certain field. It just doesn't sound right. If you and others do it, go ahead and best of luck. I just feel that it would rub me the wrong way on several levels.
I may get some heat from this, BUT in my business I am constantly meeting new people and trying to leverage my personal and business contacts. My social life and business life have been blurred into one lifestyle. No I don't have a hidden agenda and make it clear. Parties are great places to meet people and network. Antony
Its all those expensive how to sell RE and how I made $1,000,000 a year seminars they go to, always be selling. Tacky and pushy come to mind, agreed RE people are getting desparate and now they feel must do the guerilla marketing thing. Since always in selling mode they lose touch with reality and tact along with basic people skills which makes this backfire, their is a difference if you don't offer that you sell RE vs when asked what you do for a living.
I've scavenged your handle off this post, cross referenced it to my database, discovered your purchasing habit (btw you're paying too much in interest), and traded this information for free advertising. Thanks!
Amen!!! It is annoying and I am sick of it. I don't care what they are trying to do I refuse to do business with people that harass me with junk mail or phone calls because they said "hi" to me at a party. If they had a brain they would try to have a good conversation with me and work it into the conversation. I can't work with agressive morons.
You nailed it right on the head. Some people are so breathlessly clueless in their ambition that they can't stop and see reality. Antony, I totally agree with you about socializing and networking. I've done my share, that's for sure. But I think the key is, you have to mix them properly. Sitting by yourself in the corner of a crowded room doesn't count as socializing. And copying the guest list of a party for business contacts is hardly what I call networking.
There is a method and a technique that I think only some have. You have to be charming and a good listener. Warm up to people. Have an impact. I would never go into a sale right there or even before three or four calls. You have to establish a relationship. Antony
Regarding the situations described, they are about as tacky as it gets. Totally lacking in grace. Bound to alienate yourself to many, and embarass your family and friends (unless they, too, are totally lacking in tact and grace). And I definitely prefer to do business with family and friends over neutral parties.
Its ridiculous when you cant go to a celebration and not be solicited later. F that. I would send back a note wishing them bankruptcy and have a nice day.
Whatever happened to selling yourself first? If the person needs something that you can provide, they should KNOW it allready. Not though soliciting at a party, but though conversation. People will tell you exactly what they want and need, provided you listen well enough. Treat people as ends themselves, not a means to an end.
I usually solicit new business at funerals. I look at them (my prospects) and say, "that was sad." "Who do you have your life insurance through?" They usually ask "who are you?" I tell them "I was his insurance agent. Had he listened to me, his wife would now be a millionaire." "What would be a good time to call you, you don't ride a motorcycle do you?" There's millions to be made in the obits.
