For all you business owners or anyone that just enjoys a laugh...

I wonder what those evening chats were really like

 

heh, I have gone through so many resumes. I should have guessed there was a template. Everyone has the same universal key words.

"goal oriented"
"team player"

Its funny to read, I haven't gotten any xxx-xxx-xxx resumes yet, but definitely ones that are so generic that i can tell they spammed every ad on craigslist with the same reply.

My favorite is when I call them and they ask me to describe the position. HA!

 

I can't begin to tell you how many resumes we get from people applying for secretarial positions that are filled with typos. Too much. Why would I hire a secretary who doesn't know how to use spell check? And worse, I get unsolicited letters from young lawyers looking for a job that contain typos and grammatical errors. If you've taken the time to write a letter to introduce yourself and it's full of errors, what does your other work product look like?

Too funny about those "evening chats." Could you forward her resume? I won't hire her, but I have a client with a strip club who might be interested. LOL

 

That's nothing. I built an intranet application for a recruiting firm once so they could collect resumes and such from their web site, and you would not believe some of the crap that was submitted.

My favorites were the ones that had been downloaded from some guy's web site, and re-submitted with only the contact details changed. I saw one particular resume from a former NASA employee submitted about 40 times in the space of a month.

 

I once had a guy with a great resume come in and after about 20 minutes of talking, we could tell he may have mis-represented himself. So we sat him down at a computer to write a few basic commands and you could tell something was up. He got all red and asked to be left alone for a few minutes to get his thoughts together, and we obliged. Just after that, he asked where the bathroom was. I went into the bathroom a couple of minutes after he went in - he was in a stall on the phone with someone asking them to talk him through some things. I slipped out and went back to my office. He returned and got back to work, and I immediately asked him to stop what he was doing and gave him another basic task. (I wanted to see him sweat). As soon as I turned my back, he got up and bolted. What the heck are some people thinking!?!?!

 

I received a reference from a candidate from Gwenyth Paltrow once. The letter went on to explain how Gwenyth's success was in some small part a result of this woman's help. She even said that she publicly thanked the woman at some award nomination. The entire letter was about Gewnyth and had zip to do with the woman's skills as a DBA (position she was applying for). Not to mention the letter was actually written by Gwneyth (it looked like on a typewritter!) and had numerous grammatical and spelling mistakes. It was pretty self-serving to say the least. The woman got the job because it's not her fault Gwenyth is dumber then a bag of hammers.

To be fair I read the resume and CL, but my real gauge on a person is how they act in-person. People make mistakes on applications, it's not always something to hold against somebody.

It goes both ways, I've also been on some random job interviews.

 

Lol. Well the only story I have close is my friend who sent her "Why I want to go to Duke" letter to Georgetown. That must have been done hundreds of times, though

 

not to hijack but im in the process of putting together my own resume,

Im graduating in May with a Major in Econ and Business Admin Minor, I have about 3 years Retail Management experience, and 6 years in customer service postions ( sales clerk, assistant store manager, Store Manager ) Worked for a groc. store (Price Chopper) , Lids (a retail hat store) , and Littman Jewelers.

So heres the hijack.....

Coming to the field with no past job experience in a particular job, What kind of resume would you be looking at, a Skills/functional resume format, or a reverse chronological ?

(Im also in the process of creating a web-base online resume,- a self promotional website basically )

 

Of course I care. Forward me the resume and make me the head of the human resources department for a couple of hours!

 

And I thought Im about to recruit new talant for those same purposes... haha