What your toilet prep?

I obviously can't post up a poll, but here's the question:

When you're at work or in a public setting and the kids are coming out whether you want them to or not, how do you "prep" the toilet?

A. Wipe off the seat with toilet paper.
B. I don't give a F, drop the draws and squat.
C. Use the toilet shaped "protective" tissue usually provided.
D. Line up the seat with several layers of toilet paper.
E. I don't care where I am, I only sh*t at home.
F. A little bit of everything.

 

At first glance I thought the title of the thread was asking 'what toilet paper you use?'

Personally:

E. I don't care where I am, I only sh*t at home.

However, If need be:

A. Wipe off the seat with toilet paper.
C. Use the toilet shaped "protective" tissue usually provided/ If non provided - D. Line up the seat with several layers of toilet paper.

 

I added a little of everything as another option.

 

No "hover" option? Shame.

Note: I never go anywhere but home. People are just too nasty.

 

If stuck out of the house, I will only grace a 5 star hotel with a dump of mine!

Here's another one for the poll though......

Take about 5 of those seat liners, drop them in front of the bowl and clean the piss off the floor with your foot to spare your pants in the landing area!

 

There is a fairly regular (pun intended) rotation held by our sales department in the morning. After 5-6 visits (one after the other) I'll let your imagination conjure up what it smells like..

It's E for me!

 

people over react to the toilet lid - your more apt to pick up bacteria, when you open the stall door or exit the restroom door. I'm more concerned about those that don't wipe cleanly or fail to keep the toilet paper intact and then grap hold of the door leaving. For all those that put down those stupid toilet seat cheek protectors or hit the urinal and then open up the restroom door w/ your hand - your at risk.

 

Has Gary Green returned?

 

At the risk of encouraging more threads like this, I must say this item appeals mightily to me:


http://cgi.ebay.com/Novelty-Fake-Poop-Crap-Turd-Joke-Gag-Gross-Party-Pooper_W0QQitemZ360026536996QQihZ023QQcategoryZ86922QQssPageNameZWDVWQQrdZ1QQcmdZViewItem#ebayphotohosting

 

Wiping the seat with TP will just evenly spread the bacteria around.
I just drop trou and smack it on down...I figure I've got the dirtiest ass around...let others beware!

I also use as much force as possible to get a really good splash-back...the poor man's bidet!

 

Astronaut pants every time I leave the house...

 

I was wondering the same thing.

 

That would be funny. He certainly knew how to start a "lively" discussion....

 

OMG that is hilarious - Funniest post I've read in ages!!!!!!!


ROFL - Well done!

 

I crap in the sink---much cleaner area...

 

The thought of touching the door handle after people that didn't wash their hands makes my skin crawl. I always open the door with a paper towel, the bottom of my shirt, or SOMETHING, but I can't bring myself to touch it with MY clean hands.

I also have anti-bacterial hand gel in the car that I have to use after pumping gas. I might be a bit of a germaphobe.

Don't lie, you steal Andrew's diapers.

 

B - I don't care.... Just drop my draws, sit back and think happy thoughts

 

Damnit people... I laughed so hard at these that I think I ruptured a spleen or something...
Then I remembered that I felt like a total idiot for even clicking on this thread in the first place.
Thanks. Nice going. (Oh god... I didn't just say going, did I...?)

 

E. For me, I could never keep that protective tissue around the seat. Someone needs to invent a better way...hmmmmm.

 

B! ...life's too short to waste time in the crapper.

 

D for sure. I did have a 3 year streak where I timed my ****s for when I got home/early in the morning. Only hit one public toilet duing that time and it was locked up.

 

Don't know if this is true or not, but a co-worker told me he was in a club and the stalls were full so a guy took an emergency dump in the urinal next to him.

IIRC Mythbusters tested their bathroom and the toilet seat had less germs than the rest of the room.

Also once saw a slo-mo video of a toilet flushing, and seeing tiny droplets and misted toilet water flying out and around.

 

You know, my entire childhood, elementary - high school, I never once took a dump at school. I rarely ever took a piss.

 

Does laughing about this make us all............wait for it.........












ASSCLOWNS?????

 

Let it go! Nice sig!