Timing is KEY...

A few weeks have passed by and I have been up and down, I just now re-read this thread for some moral support. You guys are great!

I have made a few changes in my life, decided to join my local gym, takes my mind off everything and has the bonus of toning some mussel at the same time, spending 4-5 days there per week, and feeling much better for it. I also have not had another smoke since I gave up, that is something I am proud of because there have been many testing times lately and I have resisted or sometimes not even thought of having a smoke. I am also helping a friend restore his classic mini, I have a huge amount of experience when I comes to classic mini's and it is a past time I really enjoy, also aided by the fact my friend has also just broken up with his girl but is not as cut up about it as I was so he has been a good solid voice of reason.

Finally over the weekend I put this to bed, it would take a long time to recount all the feelings and emotion's I have had over the last 3 weeks. I will be honest and say I was hoping we would get back together, but it has become clear that getting back together is not what I want, I spent quite some time with her over this weekend and we are not compatible as partners, I thought we were while we were together, but breaking up and a bit of space has the ability of making things very clear, we are friends, best of friends, but not partners, it feels strange to be able to write this without feelings of sadness, my mind is clear and I know now that this has happened for the best.

I am also heading up to Auckland sometime this week to share a meal with Jane, an old female friend of mine, she made contact with me not long after Abbie broke up with me and we she to quote "would like to rekindle our friendship" I am supportive of this notion

I also took my car out on Saturday, nice driving weather, we are heading into winter now so the air is crisp and the days are clear, picture perfect really. I took the ex with me, we went for a drive around then stopped in grabbed some lunch and drove over to a nice park over looking the river, it was nice, we sat and ate and talked and just enjoyed the scenery, my car was looking stunning, plenty of bypasses stopping to look and take photos, then we left and went for more driving, out of town on some nice flowing roads. We did over 150kms and turned over 47000 Kms (29204 miles)

You all have been a great help for me, this site is a great way to take my mind off things and remember how lucky I am to have my 355 and all things considered how fortunate I am.

Life’s good!

 

Funny you mention looking forward and not back, when I proof read my post I removed a paragraph about looking forward and not back, I removed it because this is the one part I am struggling with, but time is good at helping this, got a car show to get ready for by October (non F-car) and got plenty on my plate to keep my mind occupied. All part of moving on.

 

Thank you Roberto, your comments earlier have been in my mind from the time I read them, you were so right in what you said, and it helps to have someone else that gives advise of what to expect. I really enjoy Matchbox 20 and Live as far as music goes, I find both these artists have an ability to say things I feel but cannot put in words, at the moment though I am listening to offspring......nothing like a little anger in the music to get you over things . And you are correct, the old sayings are so true, time will heal and every new beginning comes from an ending. Oh and Ferrari's RULE

On another note, I am her budget advisor and tonight we are having a meeting, time to get some payments happening to repay a debt she owes me, this might end badly or not, ether way a lession will be learnt.

I’m excited about having dinner with Jane this week, I will ask her to pose by my car while I take some photos, if it works out ill post them here.

Oh, the key is working great too.

 

Congrats on the 348! I’m sure you will enjoy it my friend.

Thank you for your advise, it is good to hear from people who have been through this sort of thing before, I’m sure yours was much worse as a divorce can get messy, mine is semi tidy and there are no assets or children involved, it could be allot worse for me. I agree that writing helps, I love to write and I also love to read so having this thread and this site is good medicine. To be honest, I think I’m over the relationship now and I’m just trying to find where the friendship will stand, fun and hard at the same time.

 

Hahaha I can imagine how that conversation would go, and yes will not be a component.

We had a good talk about money last night; she is learning the basics about asset/liability and cash flow. I decided not to push at a payment method for the loan, we did talk about it but I could tell that she is not happy in general, the conversation moved to talking about her, I asked if she is happy in general, she said "not really", so I asked if she is sad all the time "yeah" as you can imagine this shifted my thoughts from money to her wellbeing. She has become unmotivated, sleeping all the time, not talkative, grumpy etc. I spoke to her about depression and she agreed that it is possible she may be depressed.

To be honest, I think this started while we were together, she hates her job, she is struggling for money (I did not know this while we were together ) she is studying as well, so plenty of pressure on her and for some reason she took away the one thing in her life that was fun and enjoyable-me. So I am going to work with her to help her get better, I have recommended she see a doctor, I will follow that up and try to help her see why it is necessary to get outside and independent help. I should have seen the signs but I dismissed them for her being unwell, life is a lesson, I enjoy learning.

On another note, my shields look great
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Thanks Mark!

I'm sure in a lot of cases you are bang on and cold turkey would be the best way to move on, however in this case there is more to the story; we were close friends for 10 years before we got together, it was my doing and I have no regrets. We will be friends for a long time to come, I can easily deal with that, and if things get weird when her or I move on to another partner then we might not see each other as much as we used too, but we will still be friends. There will always be a special place in my heart for her.

Friends are supposed to care, and we both care for each other, turns out I have realised she is not the best romantic partner for me, but she will remain a best friend. We both share the maturity to be able to do this; it's what we both want.