How do you end up a friendship ?

With an Ex ? Following on my previous thread about being friends with an ex, i decided i need to end up my friendship with her as i dont want to be around when she starts dating another guy . I just emailed her asking to see her this week end..but i dont know if i should just say it over the phone or meet up and say it face to face.

 

Say it face-to-face. I would imagine that if the roles were reversed, you'd be upset to get such news over the phone, no?

 

Just drift away with other people and concerns...... plenty of other things to involve yourself with. Best to avoid burning bridges that don't need to be.....

BTW - are you in Chicago now? Thinking of taking a trip up there in the next month or two.

 

It's tough but try this. "You know __________ we've had some good times together.(blah, blah) But, it's time for me to move on. Please don't call/contact me again." Then hang up or leave. Anyway, that's the jist of it.

Do it over the phone or at a neutral location otherwise emotions start getting too involved. Good luck.

BTW, this is if you want to cut it right off. The "phase out" is another good one as stated above.

 

Cold turkey it man, it's the best thing to do. Just like I said several months ago in your other thread.

 

Definitely . Thats why i want to meet her.

 

I need to burn this bridge as i know i will go mad once i find out she is seeing another guy ..

Im in chicago so if you come this way let me know !!

 

Thanks. I tried phasing out but she either text me or call me and i jump right back in ... so i think i really need to cut it right off.

 

As someone who went through a pretty traumatic breakup within the last year, I have changed my views dramatically on love, relationships, and life. She broke up with you? Cut her off completely and without a sitdown talk or words. Actions speak louder than words. Ignore her calls, emails, texts. She'll get the hint. Stop being her emotional support while she's out looking for someone else. It's selfish on her behalf whether she knows it or not. Stop being her little puppy dog waiting for her anytime she calls or gets lonely. It will be tough for a little while but then you start to function like your old self and realize you're better off without her around. Losing a friend like that sucks though. I crossed the line and entered into a relationship with a best friend and looking back now wish I hadn't. I'd still have a good friend. But on second thought...I also got to find out just how nasty of a person my "best friend" truly was deep down and realized I wouldn't want to have a best friend like that.

 

I'd agree. She's obviously important to you, so the least you can do is explain why you can't be friends. No need to keep her guessing while you dodge her for months on end.

 

Travis, this sounds more like vengeance than a healthy resolution. In the long run, I think you end up happier if you take the high road and explain your actions rather than try to inflict pain back on the person who hurt you. My $.02

 

grow some balls and meet her face to face..... people have no balls nowadays as they address serious issues via text messages and/or email.
stay firm.. be a man.. do the right thing for YOU!

 

Easiest way to end the friendship?

"So...I hear your sister likes anal...can you give me her number?"

 

"When we broke up, you said we can still be friends. Well, I don't want to be your friend."

 

+1 Karma's a... well we know the quote. See her, tell her how you feel and then break it off. I'm sure you'll still get the random text message or call but, at that point you've done the right thing and you can ignore it and move on with your life. It'll suck. It'll suck really, really bad.

Break-ups are never easy and I wish you luck. I'll bet down the line after you've had a few more girlfriends you'll probably be able to be friends with her again. That's how it's worked out for me. As they say the best way to get over someone else is to get under someone else. The hard part is that goes for both of you.

 

Take it from an old pro:

1) Don't say or do ANYTHING you may regret.
2) Don't use her friends to send messages to her.
3) If the relationship was meant to be, it will be. If not, there is somebody better for you around the corner. Right now, she is what you have.
4) Keep busy
5) Don't flaunt somebody new in front of her or via somebody that will bring it to her attention. That will bite you in the ass every time.
6) For now (and for the long-run), send her a dozen roses with a note that reads ' I want to go out of this with the same amount of class I went in with'.

None of the above may make sense to you, but trust me on this one.

PS: If you do not have the ability to do any of the above, bop one of her best friends!

 

Exactly. Just thinking about it makes me sick.

 

You got are missing the point. He's not asking how to dump her. She's already an ex. He just wants to know how to tell her that he does not want her bringing her new boyfriend around him.

 

We broke up almost a year ago. But for some stupid reasons, i went against my feelings and agreed to stay friends with her. And we have been very good friends for the past months. But a month or so ago, i realized that the day i will learn she is dating someone, i will be crushed. So id rather walk out now..The roses make sense. Thanks for the advices . Good thing is that we dont have any friends in comon..so it will be easier to lose shight of her.

 

agreed

 

Though it was a year ago, it's like yesterday all over for you. Emotions suck at times, but with age, the grief is not worth it. There's a million guys 55+ that wish they were younger, i.e.: swap the pain for the chance to run around like Lamour at an etible panty party! The best thing now is to hang with any of your friends that can make you laugh.

 

Why are you returning the calls and text? If you can't do it 'cold turkey,' then do not make yourself available. YOU ARE BUSY. Got it?

 

+1

 

Be nice & give heart. You must face the pain & move through it. Find comfort in the fact that in time (like a year) you will not feel anything like what you feel now for her. Your brain will grow numb from the pain & you will cease to hurt whenever you think of her. She will definitly come to respect you more when you back off & show no interest. You’ll see… Her time has passed & she lost her chance to have you. Trust me, you won’t be able to muster up a spark after the damage is done. But, be nice, give heart & you will be a better man for it. What doesn’t kill you….

 

Yep. I agree. Also this could turn out bad or good depending on how much she really wants you around Either way, get out now.