I Have Finally Confronted PURE EVIL and It's Name Is...

What show? Where?

 

I only caught a few episodes and I was absolutely sickened. Selfishness on a factor that would have Stephen Hawking stumped.

 

Yet another great reason not to buy into that crap

 

Did it look like this?

http://www.gwinnettdailypost.com/ftp/multimedia/waffleweddingx/publish_to_web/

 

I can sort of under stand that one since they both work there.

But just sort of....

 

that explains it all...

 

www.nomarriage.com

 

As if My Sweet 16 wasn't bad enough. Maybe they'll follow that show's spin-off (where they throw the teens out in the wild for once).

 

If the chicks were sane, they wouldn't be on the show...

 

+1

 

My old company was going to give them product....

never seen the show

 

The more I think about it, the more I realize I'd have a real hard time arguing with you on that.

I'm in my 30's and single - been dating since I was 16. Most women really do act very immature. Most women would say their ideal man is tall/dark/handsome, and would also want a guy with a good job, nice car, good future, ideally with a big house and at *least* middle-level income, but preferably higher end.

The only problem is - what are these women offering in return? The above mentioned type of guy probably represents a fraction of a percent of the number of guys out there. And believe me - it's not the top fraction of the top 1% of women looking for such a guy - more like 50%+ of all the single ones.

Sometimes you'll meet a woman and she'll be have all the intelligence of a goat, be as interesting as a statistics textbook, not be all that high on the looks scale, and be working at maybe a retail store or as an admin assistant or something. Yet she'll be looking for a single 30-year-old doctor that looks like John Stamos, is rich, has a huge mansion and several cars, and will want to mooch of his success even if she were to snare him.

The more I think about it the more I realize how disparate the dating scene in the USA is lately.

 

We have options. American women do not.

http://www.nomarriage.com/foreigngirl.html

 

I haven't watched the show and I don't think I could stomach it if I tried. I have seen many a female go through wedding planning, and more often than not I think it's the most ridiculous show of "look at me" in the world, and a gigantic waste of money. If hell ever freezes over and I get married, I'm eloping.

 

All of the "reality" shows (Sweet 16, Bridezillas, Real Housewives, Daddy's Spoiled Little Girl, et al) seem to validate the bad behavior of American women.

In reading the nomarriage website, it seems the descriptions are harsh but accurate.

I have been married for ten years now, and can say that if I had it to do all over, I probably wouldn't have gotten married. The first five years were pretty good. The next two were OK but I was in grad school and looked forward to finishing and it getting better. The last three have been more difficult because she is more difficult and I have less tolerance for it. I say I probably wouldn;t have gotten married, because now we have a 3-year old girl that we adopted, and even with all the BS I have to put up with my wife, I am not willing to voluntarily give up 50% of my time with my daughter. But little girls grow up, and 15 years from now as she goes off to college. I will probably leave at that same time unless there are some drastic changes. In 15 years you can prepare and plan a lot of s***.

What is sadly funny is when I talk to my wife about her parents' divorce:
"I think back and my mom never wanted to go anywhere or do anything, she really treated my dad bad. My dad worked a lot but wanted us to do things on the weekends. Then when I was 20 he left for six months, started screwing some woman he worlked with, served my mom with with papers and gave her everything."
"Everything that she knew about, honey. Don't you think?"
"Yeah, obviously he had some hidden. She wasn't a very good wife I guess..."
"Yep, he put up with her crap until you and your brother were raised, and then he was out of there!"

And yet, even though we have had that conversation a dozen times, she still lacks the self-awareness to realize that SHE IS DOING EXACTLY THE SAME THING.

I look at her and her friends. All of them now mid-30's. Most are attractive, most work in some capacity, all have kids. All of them, and I mean every single one, treat their husbands like s*** but expect them to just fall down before them at their whim. One trades sex for household chores (re-tile the bathroom and I guess you might get to have fun tonight). Another one has had four kids (all accidents!), and basically tells her husband to leave and then she will have ALL his money. My wife was furious at me when I told her they were no different than prostitutes. But then I tell her, hey at least they both still have sex!

And then there's mine. A frigid spendthrift completely into status, even though she contributes little to the household. I had to separate our money to make sure the bills were paid. We do fine, but as long as I am with her she will spend everything she can and savings only grows when we get big chunks like bonuses or tax refunds. She demands 100% of my time, and wants to constantly push me to the breaking point. For example, by her choice she moved classrooms this summer. We spent 15 f***ing nights (about 60 hours) working on that damn thing. It was expected of me. On the last particularly irritating Friday evening I went, when an impromptu "20 minute" trip to the school turned into 5 hours, I had plenty of time to think about it, and I finally told her,
"I know what you are doing. You want to see how long you can keep me here before I blow up at you. If I get mad and yell, then in your mind I deserve to have to help you. If I yell then I am the jerk that should help as penance for getting mad at perfect little you. But I'm not playing your game anymore. I'm not going to get mad, the night is already ruined (it was 10pm), and after 30 minutes I should have left. I gave you the choice of driving separately, but you lied and assured me it was just 20 minutes when you had this list to do. So you should figure out what stuff you need my help with, and we will get it done tonight. I won't be back here again this summer."

A reader might think that is weakness on my part, she still got what she wanted. The only thing I will say is that in some situations, with little eyes and ears watching you, the best you can hope for is to pick your battles and fight it in your chosen way rather than theirs.

FWIW, I don't blame her for all the bad things I perceive in my life, but she sure as hell doesn't help anything. I have resolved not to cheat on her, and just focus on raising my daughter to be a better person than her mother.

 

LMAO! How did you end up on WE TV?

My dad watches this channel and Lifetime. I don't get it, these are tv shows designed by and for women. He says the "movies" are interesting. I just say, "Dad, I'm worried about you." LMAO!

 

tundraphile have you started making plans for the divorce? I can almost guarantee you that she has.

When relationships get like that it's only a matter a time.

 

Yes, I have consulted with attorneys, as well as doing some research on my own.

Honestly, and this isn't some blind guy seeing what he wants versus what actually is, but she wouldn't leave the current situation. She has it pretty good as it is now, most of the things she wants, plus a husband that usually makes her life easier. If she was going to leave, it would have been a few years ago while I was in school and working full time, and she was friends with a wealthy poonhound that did his best to get in her pants. Unsuccessfully apparently.

So for the time being I will try to get along, it is easier with the knowledge that I will leave at the time of my choosing, not hers. The problem as I see it with escalating the conflict is that you reach a point of no return. When I'm gone, I'm gone. No trial separation or any other BS. You have to pick your battles and be careful in your ultimatums and threats. There are times when you have to use them, but they are usually at a point when you don't really care which way the other chooses to go.

It is not like I consider myself a matyr or anything, suffering through for my daughter's sake. It isn't like that. I have simply taken in the information, assessed the situation rationally, and decided this is the overall best path forward for the time being.

OTOH, maybe she is planning something. If that is the case so be it. I can rebuild what I have financially, she will be broke in 6 months. It is my daughter that I would be concerned about, while my wife would be more worried about her reputation in our small community.

Anyone still want to get married?

 

That's horrible. I really really hope you're doing everything you can to reduce your stress level, because it sounds like you even go to bed stressed.

It's sort of funny and ironic you mention your wife turning into her mother. My mom apparently always had a difficult relationship with her mom, she wasn't treated like her brothers were. I've heard my mom say a lot of things about how her mom was difficult. Then my parents would argue about something, or I get yelled at by my mom for something stupid and my dad always just says, "She's turning into her mom and I'm terrified".

I'm probably the least experienced relationship person in the world, but I'm a great observer. I've watched all of my friends relationships, from dating, to engagements, to engagement break-ups, to marriages, to divorces. I've learned a lot. Wives try to control the relationship and they think it's their job to do so and that they're doing a favor to their husbands by doing so. Flying blindly, obviously. No one should control anything, it shouldn't be that way and that's one huge problem (if not the biggest) with 95% of relationships, IMO.

It's just really disturbing watching all my friends marriages. There is only one couple (both are great friends) that I can honestly say I have not one single doubt they'll never be on the verge of divorce. The rest of them myself and my other single friends have serious doubts about how long their marriages will last, and that's pathetic. We shouldn't think that.

Girls need to quit playing their stupid ass mind games. It's childish and absurd, and they ALL do it! Just to varying degrees.

I wish you the best tundra, it's truly sad you have to deal with that.