Dealing with a break up?

go to a club, come to stl, i'll introduce you to a few girls,

seriously, if i had a dollar for everytime a girl broke up with me, or better yet a penny everytime i've been turned down by a girl, i'd be in an enzo right now, you'll get over it. life goes on. but seriously, meet some new people, you might be amazed at what you find.

 

let me know when you do this, i'm on my way,

to add to my post, it could be worse, my cousin got engaged to a girl a few years back, about 3 months before the wedding date, they broke up. imagine what he went through with that one.

 

You'll get lots of suggestions on what to do. Here's what not to do: sit around feeling sorry for yourself. Today is rough, so give yourself a bit of time for the events to sink in. That's perfectly normal and probably necessary. After a day or two, get out and do something that you enjoy. If you sit around by yourself, you'll be miserable.

 

Look in the silver section - there are tons of threads about relationships in there (a few of my own to boot). There is no magical cure but time. And speaking from experience, the best plan is to go cold turkey. Don't talk to her, do your best not to think about her, and occupy yourself with friends and hobbies. Time heals all, this included. And just remember, as long as you learned something (I'm sure you learned a ton, since it was your first real relationship), then it served its purpose. Apply that knowledge to the next one ("Women are like trains - another will come along") and you will be that much more successful. Good luck.

 

Me and my gf of the past year just broke up.
Congratulations!

Things have been different lately...
Usually is.

...and it just wasn't like it used to be...
Never is.

...so we just broke up...
Congratulations!

This girl was (and still is) my life.
WRONG

I adore her but i couldn't be like this anymore.
Past tense - adored...

...but i couldn't be like this anymore.
Well, there ya go!

We had just drifted apart.
Fun while it lasted, huh?

We shared so much and went through so much over the past year and she was the first serious gf i had and is the only girl i've been with.
It was your first friggin' romance. Woohoo! Fun while it lasted!

It hasn't really sunk in yet but i don't cope with stuff like this well.
Hot tip: You'll get over it. WE ALL HAVE. There's 3.3 BILLION ******* out there. A whole bunch have your name on it.

I'll probably call the counseling center tomorrow because i know i'll need someone to talk to.
If you've ever watched The Godfather, Vito Corleone slapped Johnny Fontane a little for acting like one of the 3 Billion *******. Here's your counseling: Cry for five minutes. You will be OVER it when you recognize the possibilities that ol' SefacHotRodder Junior down there has in store for you. After that, you'll feel a lot better and you'll have a certain swagger in your steps. When some other girl [including your Ex's friend] recognize that swagger as SefacHotRodder, Conquistadore Man-Whore StudMuffin Extraordinaire - DO NOT MENTION THE EX. BE THE MAN, AND BRING IT ON HOME.

 

What you should do is go out and buy a new Ferrari. And when you get tired of it sell it, and you don't have to pay allimony for the rest of your life.

 

I broke up with my GF one day because I thought I wanted another piece of tail.

Called her back three days later wining like a *****.

Women tend to have a special powerover men.

 

Struck out during your three days of freedom, huh?

Just kidding, Dan.

 

I went through a painful break up around this time last year. Unfortunately, there is no miracle solution if you had strong feelings for her. The only thing that helped me back then was to go out and see friends/make new friends.
It wasnt great but at least it was better than to stay in my bed remembering what i didnt have anymore. I also made the mistake of staying in touch with her a few months after our break up and we ended up seeing each other every week end as good friends. DONT DO THIS . Im sorry to say but dont stay in touch with her, at least not for the next few years or it will just slow down your getting over her..


Good luck.

 

wasn't there a whole thread on this?

 

Yes, i just couldnt resist not seeing her but i have been good..Havent seen her since august when i told her that i had to end our friendship..( other than running into her in the city..) !

 

Im not sure how this works but if you can change classes and clubs, i would do that. It will just bring memories over and over. We used to be at the same health club ( she moved too far now to go there ) and i would run into her at least twice a week. It was great when i saw her but the minute we said goodbye i was down all over again...

 

meaning that its not feasible because of your schedule or because you want to still see her ?

 

It is a cliche but realize that in time the feelings of loss will mellow. For some people (like me) you spend some period of analysis trying to understand what you could have done differently. This is, IMO, a good thing if done in moderation and promotes personal growth. However it is all too easy to dwell on it 24/7 and miss out on other good opportunities for happiness.

To minimize the possibility of this, set a time limit for yourself to grieve the loss of the relationship, perhaps a week or two, but definitely set a date. Use that time to indulge in self-pity and self-examination. You will be surprized how "productive" this time can be if you have a deadline where you have to quit. Avoid partying or alcohol during this time unless you really want to do it, then only in moderation. If you feel impulsive or out of control doing reckless things, this is somewhat normal during this time. Just be concious that you are probably not thinking rationally sometimes during this period.

While this is obvious, do not let her presence in your classes keep you from going or otherwise hurt your grades. She already has your heart for the time being, don't give her your GPA too. She is probably hurting too, but that is HER responsibility, not yours. There are reasons why you broke up, and understand that getting back together will result in you breaking up again 99% of the time for the exact same reasons.

After your deadline has passed then allow yourself to take a forced vacation from your feelings if you are already not sick of them running through your head. Try to find a new hobby, or even better take up an old passion that you no doubt have neglected by spending time with your ex. When those thoughts about her creep in, really try to only allow yourself the "productive" contemplation about the relationship. Only if you are working on improving YOU for the next girl will all this time and energy be worth anything.

Slowly, perhaps weeks, perhaps months, you will find that heartache to be less and less in your life until one day you realize that you went an entire hour without thinking about her. Then a whole morning, then maybe even a whole day. There is no timetable, but time will almost certainly help.

 

PM sent.

 

+1

Sorry to hear about this Chris. Keep your head up. Everything will work itself out just fine.

 

Five minutes. Tops. That's all it takes. It's history. Just a girl. 3.3 BILLION girls on this planet. Move on.

 

Although it's nice to think that way, emotions don't really coincide with the mathematics behind it. If that were the case, we wouldn't feel sad when someone close to us passes away - hell, there are 6 billion people still around! Sometimes you just gotta accept reality though, and life does go on.

 

Nobody died - overwrought Puppy Love did. It's just a schoolkid romance gone bust like 99% of 'em.

We all have fond remembrances of our first female.

*Sings "Feelings"*

Whoa-oa-oa-oa-whoa, Feelings...

We all got over it... except winos, crackheads and methheads.

Classes, schmasses, clubs, schmubs - Dude - I'm tellin' ya, just snap out of it.

Mope like a dope OR Strut with a high hard one. Your choice.