How important/ damaging is pride?

25% per year? I would say yes!

 

No, not worth it to put yourself in a position of possible ridicule for a few bucks.

If you don't have your pride, what's left!

 

Money ain't everything!

 

If it was me, I would endure the embarrassment for a lot of extra cash.

Looking at your profile, since you're on car #54, it looks like you're pretty well set...so I say keep your pride and forget the money.

 

In the midnight hour, all you truly have is yourself and your self-image. If you know who you are at your core and you're comfortable with that, then everything else is ephemeral. Will the cash help you when the memories flash, or when someone references you as "that guy who once did <X>"?

 

If it's their first offer say no. When they jack it to 35-40 then reconsider.

 

Say it ain't so!
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It has been my experience that embarrassment is the only emotion memory that does not fade with time. It must be some kind of built-in defense mechanism that allows humans to feel the same intensity of the embarrassing moment years later. It is those "lessons in life" that accumulate within us that keep us from going off-course throughout the years. I can still wince when I recall some of my embarrassing moments, even though it is now decades later.

So, given how permanent some of those emotional scars will be, I would vote not to do it.

"To thine own self be true, and it must follow, as the night the day, thou canst not then be false to any man."
- William Shakespeare

 

That would be a NO for me. Life is all about what you are going to be thinking about while lying on your deathbed.

 

but living on the way......

 

If you can't be yourself, act like yourself, and express yourself honestly for ANY period of time ... then whatever it is they are asking you to do is completely unreasonable. I'd say screw 'em.... something isn't right about this situation. Maybe I just need more details, but 'sumpthin' ain't right'

Mike in Kuwait

 

How many have met an "ex-stripper"? Some don't want to talk about it and others are actually rather proud of it. The answer is, there is no definative answer.

 

is this a reality tv program or something?

 

Is it legal, prevent you from procuring additional employment, against a religious belief, have to dress in a bunny suit? Is it a confidence issue?

Embarrassment is different for everyone. When younger I, and the knuckleheads I ran with, would do about anything for a good laugh and continue to this day as to make life more "fun" but never at someone's expense only my own. It has made for good life reflection stories as I age. Some of them the kids find enjoyable as well.

For me it would come down to it being legal, not harming others, not prevent me from future employment, no long term effects ( razzing from co-workers that would never end ). If all of those were excluded sign me up and add to the list of stories.

 

why will you not post more details...even exact details? pride?

what are the chances that you might endure this humiliating episode and not get the expected payoff? is it possible that this embarrassing episode could actually undercut your earning capabilities? could it be more than pride at work, such as a risk/reward ratio that is not up to your acceptable levels? you really need to provide better details and ask yourself why you haven't yet.

by the way, I have a personal humility test that I do to try to keep my ego in check: I pick up pennies. if I see a penny on the floor, whether in a crowded grocery store line, in a parking lot while walking with colleagues, out with family, etc... I pick it up. if I hesitate, I ask myself why I am hesitating; do I not want them to think I'm poor? (or other similar foolish reasons) what do I care what they think? does it matter? or is it simply in an inconvenient location? (I won't waste time digging out a penny from some place where I may not belong in the first place, etc.)

if my pride keeps me from picking up that penny, then I know I need to pick up that penny. and I don't explain it. I don't smile sheepishly and say, "It's good luck" etc. I just pick up the penny and let others fill in the blanks as they see fit. I know most likely they don't care one iota but if they do give it a moment's thought their assumption is probably incorrect... there's little chance they know I'm picking up that penny to keep my ego in check, and to understand a little better about what makes me tick.

a nice side benefit is that I now find myself unconsciously scanning the ground for pennies when I'm walking along, and as a result have found close to $100 worth of cash (not coins) as well... which I would say is a very direct payoff for keeping my ego in check. in addition I have better honed the ability to recognize when my pride/ego is being affected or manipulated, learning how to set it aside and not be ruled by it, and instead allowing logic and level-headedness to prevail.

now again, why exactly are you not picking up that penny?

 

I've gone back and reread your initial post. It is starting to sound like the embarrassing situation would be man-made, that is, something artificially created by another person, to purposely humiliate you. And the whole purpose of this is so that that person can know how badly you are willing to suffer in order to make more money (your quote was "how badly I suffer from making money").

If this is true, is this offer being made by a relative or perhaps by a business partner? It now seems like a stranger situation than I first thought.

 

Wow! This would probably make a great plot for a movie.

Now I understand your question that you posed much better. And, of course, the level of humiliation is likely to be much more intense than what would occur naturally in more typical situations.

For example, we had a thread in the Mid-Atlantic Section on spotting this guy in a local mall. Some of us thought the guy probably lost a bet or, was doing some kind of dare, rather than it being a personal hobby. So, it makes me realize what level of humiliation you might be talking about.
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I have found that, as hard as it is, you can simply say things even if you do not mean a word of it.

I have had a number of occasions when dirt-bag patients or families will demean me in ways you would never hear from better class people. The poorer, courser, less educated often seem to get a special delight in demeaning doctors.

I have learned the art of looking earnest and saying what calms them long enough to get them out of my emergency room, office or hospital service.

Taking humiliation for a time period can certainly save you a lot of grief later on.

 

Theres usually some way of making one's self available to the rewards you speak of with out actual betrayal. You may not have "first dibs" at what the opportunity, or it may require some sort of adjustment to the terms of your dealings with others but there is usally a way way of keeping a door open without doing whatever it is you don't want to have happen.

Are you sure there is absolutely no other way to avail yourself of this opportunity (or at least salvaging yourself a chance at some of it) without compromising your values?

 

The same could be said of teachers. A couple of my wife's students have dirtbag parents that have talked to her like a dog. I don't understand their mentality, it is a situation not unlike yours. Here is someone trying to help them (or their kids), and in their twisted worldview that gives them the right to put you down. It is as if they understand you can't fight back and this is their chance to "knock you down a couple of notches". No one ever bettered their situation by belittling someone who is helping them.

Back to the topic at hand, at some level we all end up kissing @$$ to somebody on some level. The OP just needs to determine if 25% more income for several years is worth kissing a little extra for a few weeks. My position would probably be to do it. You have to have some level of pride/confidence to get anywhere, but too much can become a hinderance as well.