7 ways a flight attendant can annoy you

Threatening legal action when accidentally brushing against one as you try and get by. .

 

1) Wink at me suggestively

2) Wear shorter skirts than neccecary

3) Open up your blouse for epic titties

4) Cleaning my trousers after 'accidentally' spilling water over my crotch

5) Talk with a sexy voice

6) Put more alcohol in my drink than strictly necessary

7) Invite me to the mile high club

 

I Haven't been on any flights like those .

 

I get some weird ones. I swear I had a tranny bringing me my drinks on my last flight to Atlanta. This "lady" was about 6'2" 225 and had a deeper voice than any guys I know.

 

Move my overhead luggage to put in fit some idiot coming on last with an overstuffed bag.

Bump onto my feet with the drink cart and then say "watch your feet!"

Talk constantly to one another in the galley the entire flight.

Give me "the look" when asking for a pillow or blanket.

Ask me to raise my seat back when it's already raised.

Let some idiot talk on his cell phone next to my ear after he's being told 4 times to turn it off.

Give you your meal and then take an hour to bring you a drink.

COLD FOOD!!!!

Do you think they could spare more than one bag of peanuts on a 3 hour flight?

Give me "the look" when you ask again what your meal choice is.

Don't even THINK of using that "call button".

AND... here's the biggie: They put their own carry on luggage in the overheads at the front of the plane so those sitting up front have to move their bags back.

 

The mile-high club is an interesting concept that I honestly don't really get. I find travelling by commercial air to be incredibly stressful and tiring, the last thing I would want to do is go into a cramped bathroom where the last guy dropped a duece and try to find a position that would be enjoyable. I've done it at some adventurous places like parks and movie theaters, but an airplane has never appealed to me.

Also flown on small corporate jets and that might be a different matter as the stress level and privacy could be less in certain situations, but my thoughts would still be to get to the destination alive rather than getting some tail along the way.

Longest flight was to China a few years ago, after watching the FA's for about 17 hours, there has to be a better way to make a living. They don't annoy me, they have a crappy job and I pity them.

 

I had a great hate for STU's (Yes, I will not even call them Flight Attendants for thus one!) before I became a flyer! When I was 21, I was a vault teller at a bank in Reno where I always seemed to get stuck with the UAL deposit which was all of the cash collected by the Stu's for drinks, etc. I'd get a large canvas bag and in each bag was about 59 deposits envelopes. With the total writen (More like scribbled with a crayon) was the total cash in the envelope. One after another, I'd open the envelopes only to find wadded up ones, fives and tens. It was like each stu had a contest as to who could make the crappyest deposit! I'd spend 10-15 minutes on each one just straightening out the money and f

 

The Virgin Airlines sky waitresses layover D) where I used to moor my boat. We used to regularly go in and pick a couple of the six footers on display and take them for twilight cruises.

 

Doesn't necessary have to be in the toilets per se. Its more the rush that adds to the overall experience though, so i've heard.

Haven't been on a flight yet where a FA would stroke my manhood or anything like that. Closest I've gotten to was a wink...I think they're all to scarred of sexual harassment suits now

 

1. Leatherique is not a skin care product unless your name ends in Bentley, Royce or Hilton. Aniline leather as applied to the face of a 40 year old woman is gross. Tanin as a skin creme isn't sexy and it scares young children and triply so against the backdrop of your laser whitened teeth. Your "Romantic Moonshades" of blue eye powder and your waxy chunks of mascara complete the fright and your feet ****ing stink. I'm not Bernardo so I have zero appreciation for toes stewing in nylon fibers for 12 days, hours or whatever. Wash your stinking ****ing carcass before you get on the plane. Use a foot brush and gallons of soap, too.

2. Don't lean in and flash me a tanin smile. You are 40 and your physical charms evaporated 20 years ago. Don't take this out on me, you chose the wrong career, don't make me wish I got put on the wrong ****ing flight. Give me my $5 diet can of coke and 6 oz plastic cup with 4 oz of ice and **** off, really. I can pour my own ****ing drink.

3. Just sit the **** down and shut up. I didn't give a **** about high school popularity contests when I was 16. I don't want to hear your empty chatter about things no real human adult gives a crap about. You are 40 and a stewardess. Sit down, and shut the **** up unless someone snaps their fingers at you.

 

Woman, I'm sure you don't understand but you can't expect me to fold myself sideways 3 times. I'm 6'9'' and my legs come up to above your boobs. I dont fit in a 12'' space with these stupid legs so don't put me there. I can speak clearly and my sight is fine. I can open the emergency door (its a door, how hard will it be! we're not all idiots...).

Second, if I don't get my precious exit row seat, and you manage to fold me into a 12'' space, don't moan at me for standing after take off until we land again. IT IS IMPOSSIBLE!

Or you can put me in business class.

 

You might have been ok had you not accidentally done it over 10 times to the same woman on the same flight

 

Exactly!!

And there being good reason why things wouldn't "fit"!