Bar/Lounge Etiquette

So I walk into a bar, cocktail lounge, hotel bar, high end bar, regular neighborhood bar and I get the same re-occuring question right off the f'in bat...

What do you do for living?

I hate this question and have been asked 4-5 times in the past couple of weeks by various people/groups whom I've never met. All were about 2-3 minutes into a friendly exchange that had nothing to do with work related issues, anything of value, boasting, etc and they blurt it out as an interruption to the topic. Not only that, but it leads into other questions.., where is your office, where do you live(not in general but specific roads...etc etc.) One guy even asked me what I make annually. (my response was "nobody knows that"). Keep in mind not a single one of these people even knew of the cars I drive

A month ago at the Fairmont in Santa Monica, some woman across the bar asks me out of the blue. I danced around it with a very general, quick comment of "risk management" and she said "so your not going to tell us" and was actually bent about it and had a chip on her shoulder for the next 1/2 hour. After this exchange, I started noticing that if I don't answer outright, Im an A**, If I do, it leads to other questions and I feel my privacy is being infringed upon.

I know I could just make something up but I don't like doing that.

What do you think could be an acceptable response that won't sound patronizing? or am I all wrong on this and its an acceptable topic?

 

Just answer I drink and then act like Barfly was based on your life.

 

If stated correctly, [A] they won't pester you further you'll be asked if they can borrow this line;

"As little as possible"

 

I have a friend that is an executive with the McDonald's Corp. who is also a F430 owner. When he's out and about and gets asked that question at a bar/lounge his answer is, "Oh I work at McDonald's". It's funny seeing other people's reactions, lol!-

 

DC is famed for its "what do you do/who do you work for" culture. In reply, I put on my best serious face and tell people that I'm writing an opera about golf. (It's called "Fore!")

 

That could work! Chances are i will be trying that in the next few days.

 

Tell them you are a garbage man.

 

I always tell them I'm a retired stunt c*ck from John Holmes films.

 

I have noticed that alot of people try this question as a sort of Ice breaker to try and find some common ground to talk about, usually its not intended to be offensive. But yes it does sometimes go way too personal. I try and answer and then just politely say that "Im a XXXXX but I like to leave work at work and not here" people tend to get the hint then.

 

Trust me, it does. Used it in L.A. for yeeeeears.

 

I just tell them the truth, "I am a rocket scientist". Never seems to be much common ground after that, for some reason, but cheers everybody up. I can teach you a few phrases and you could be rocket scientist, too, next time someone asks.

Taz
Terry Phillips

 

Several years ago i was having a nice conversation with a new neighbor across the street. He also had a Porsche and I figured it would give us something to chat about so I walked over and introduced myself. We chatted for a few minutes and then he blurts out, "what do you do for a living. I'm a lawyer and my wife is a doctor."

I said "congratulations and welcome to the neighborhood" and that was the last words I ever spoke to him. What a ******.

I agree that people use it hoping to find something in common, but it is still annoying.

I usually go with "as little as possible" too, failing that I just tell them I run my own business. Unless the person is a friend of a friend or something, that's all a stranger needs to know.

 

lol!

Tell them you are a seminary student and/or a counselor and one of two things happen: they run like hell, or they are really fascinated and want to talk all night and you run like hell.

 

I use this often.

If pushed, I tell them I sit on airplanes and talk on the phone.

 

I tell them I'm making a fine art of dodging Congressional subpoenas.

CW

 

or a disposable lighter repairmen.

 

I always tell them the truth, but with an interesting "spin" on it.

Them: "So what do you do for a living?"

Me: "I work in the pressurized aluminum pipe business."

Them: (With a perplexed look on their faces) "Oh."

Usually there isn't a whole lot of common ground after that.

 

Since they don't know the answer before they ask the question, I don't think there is anything nefarious about it.

I think asking the line of work someone is a legitimate question, since work generally occupies most of our day. What we do often says allot about a person. Some people ask the question for "networking" opportunities.

If the intentions are well meaning, the person asking just wants to learn more about you or is seeking a common subject to continue discussion with.

If you are dating, or interested in someone, don't you want to know what they do?

If you do something that is interesting, of course it will create more questions, would that not be a normal response?

Asking more personal questions such as exactly where you live, or amount of income, is inappropriate. Seek a better crowd to socialize with.

To answer the question without going into detail, simply say what industry you are in. So I may answer "property management" but don't expand that I own the company. You can follow up your answer with a question about that person, thereby changing the subject back to them. So "I'm in property management, say, what is your opinion on the obama health care plan?" If they press you for more job related information and you don't feel comfortable, politely excuse yourself and head to the bathroom.

One usually doesn't seek privacy while in a public bar, if you want privacy go to a private club.

My $.02

 

Just say you're a Jehovah's Witness missionary on a new-member recruitment trip...
certainly will cut any conversations pretty short I should think.


Jedi

 

I´ll use this one in the future!

 

Being a construction contractor, I use:

"I babysit grown men, and argue about "what things cost"......

I tend to agree that early in a conversation it's just looking to network or maybe find mutual aquaintences.....and even general discussion of "neighborhood" is okay..

"I live right next to the Surfhouse"...sort of thing.

As far as money that's a little hard to understand, unless they need a loan or something....I've learned not to discuss money, even with my own lover......

 

Good Answers:

Guess

Drugs & Prostitution

Underwear model

Secret Agent

Dog Catcher

Rodeo Clown

 

Lion tamer is always a good one.

 

Add to the list the one that gets a great response, I'm am IRS high net worth investigator.

 

"I'm in ladies underwear"

You're welcome.