Relationship advice.

Sounds like you both have different views of life and the paths you wanna take.

 

There's your answer. Seriously.

So many sad stories of guys that got their dreams limited by an early marriage/ pregnancy etc.

 

You seem to be ambitious and you should find someone similar to you. From what you've said, it doesn't sound like your girl is on the same page. It could be that you're both young and she's still trying to figure stuff out.

However, you're 23. Don't think about marriage. Wait at least another 5 years.

 

Agree, women's "sell by date" comes a lot earlier than a man's.

 

Talking about what we want to do when it never gets done never gives positive results. Based on your words, this behavior could become a big problem over time. Your GF may make you happy now, but that happiness may not be the same 8-10 years in with your career.

 

I wont be with a girl unless she has goals in life and is going after them. I dont care if they want to be a hair dresser, but they better be trying to be the best damn hair dresser in the world.

 

The best scenario is to have a girl friend or wife who is also your friend and partner......someone with whom you share a mutual respect. When you freely encourage and support each other to pursue goals, both shared and individual, it is nirvana.

It does happen!

 

I wouldn't end it at the moment just because you find it difficult to imagine your life in 10 years with her. Chances are your life will be different than you imagine now whether you are with her or not. Setting goals is good, going after them is even better, but do not be surprised if you end up a bit short of your ideals. This is not failure but reality. It is better to aim high and come up a bit short than to lower expectations and hit them every time.

On the subject of your GF perhaps she is a late bloomer, or doesn't have a good role model at home to push her to do more with her life. Perhaps you could be that inspiration with your hard work, achievement, and encouragement. I wouldn't put undue pressure on yourself to make a decision. Just enjoy the things you enjoy with her and don't get married. Give yourself the luxury of another three years to see what happens, your options are more than breaking up or marriage, assuming you are happy now.

If you have to move for your career, so be it. Put the burden on her to call it quits if she wants, or perhaps get off her butt and follow you in a few years.

Don't put much stock in what your friend says, many women have the mindset to be married but in the end are miserable because they are focused on the ring and not the husband. While she might not conciously be thinking that, society has conditioned her to think this way.

If your GF puts pressure on you to get engaged, tell her you will after she finishes college. End of discussion.

And whatever you do...use protection!!!

 

Believe it or not that is not a bad occupation, especially as a second income for the household. You can set your own hours and build a steady clientele with your own shop or booth rental in someone else's shop.

If your spouse moves it is like starting over but there will always be a demand for a good stylist. Maybe a year to build another clientele.

My wife will drop $70 for a color and cut without batting an eye. Not bad pay for 90 minutes work.

 

You are uniquely situated to weigh the objective and subjective considerations involved in making this decision. I have a feeling that things will work out for you no matter what you choose.

 

+1

It is indeed very difficult to motivate some people (I've been there with an ex); sometimes you may need to go your seperate ways; might be better off that way for the both of you.

On the other hand, how much have you done to aid her in understanding/establishing her goals? People are not generally motivated to achieve things they don't believe in. Some people are also quite content with mediocracy, and there is nothing wrong with that.

Perhaps a long conversation about the goals and values in your current/future lives is required. It will ultimately determine whether you two are a good fit or not.

Good luck. You're only 23. It's good you are thinking long term, but marriage is still a long ways away.

 

I'll play the devil's advocate a bit. If you're looking to one day start a family you don't necessarily want to be with a ball buster business gal. If this one is laid back she may well be suited for the family role while you're the bread winner. OTOH it's best to have a partner that is your equal in a lot of respects. I wouldn't think about it too much because if it's meant to be then it'll work out if not you'll find someone else. Good luck.

 

I'm surprised that no one has asked the obvious question:

Have you discussed any of these issues with your girlfriend?

 

I hope he answered that question 1.5 yrs ago.

 

Your just 23, thats very young to think about marriage, IMO. Go out, have fun mix with other gals, and see what's best in 7 years time

 

You dont really NEED a wife, its entirely optional

Btw if you need to get over her a week in Rio will do you wonders

 

LOL

LOL

Yup +1 Rio Is The Place For Forgetting!!!

 

Anthony.......

How many girlfriends have you had carnal knowledge of ?

 

something tells me it is less than the 100 that has been previously recommended.

 

A business owner who is much wiser than I told me "if you are thinking of firing an employee, you are already 2 weeks to late".

Don't get married until you are at least 30.

 

Did that same business owner attach an arbitrary number to the time when a person should start a business?

 

Your GF is two years out of high school. She is probably still trying to decide between Team Jacob and Team Edward on Facebook. Just by the numbers, marrying a 20 year old woman would probably be a mistake. Breaking up with a 20 year old woman because you don't want to marry her could be a mistake as well. There are some questions we need answered to help this discussion along:

1. Is she gainfully employed?
2. Is she excited about her employment or have other career goals?
3. Does she know what she wants to study in college? If not, it may not be for her at this time.
4. Is she a stripper?
5. Is she a psycho?
6. Does your friend who is a girl that brought this up have a crush on you?
7. What is your favorite color on a Ferrari 458?