Its Funny, Cause Im Drunk!!

Looks like he's ready to blow a seal.

 

very sad

 

Pathetic really.

The guy obviously gets a sore back from the dingy, that's his Sealy Posturepedic.

 

no Seal of Approval for that one either

 

http://www.nbcnewyork.com/news/local-beat/Airline-Steward-at-JFK-Pulls-Emergency-Chute-Flies-Coop-100286494.html

haha

 

now your just being seally...

 

http://news.ninemsn.com.au/world/7943348/overweight-man-sits-on-thief-accidentally-kills-him

He'd be a candidate for a Darwin Award if he hadn't already reproduced.

 

100kg isn't exactly obese, unless he was 4 feet tall.

 

YOU CAN RUN, BUT YOU CAN'T HIDE FOREVER...
I'LL BE BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACK!

 

you'll never catch me with the TOYOs on

 

She'll be 3 seconds in front.

 

"You have to lie to girls or they get mad"

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=69Arp1qtDF0

 

Wish I'd seen that at his age!!

 

LOL! Ta Brett!

 

wtf
Image Unavailable, Please Login

 

Stolen from AE just in case Brett missed it.


Kiwi baiting:

HOW TO SPEAK NEW ZEALANDER, FOR BIST EFICT, RID THESE OUT ALOUD!

Milburn - capital of Victoria
Peck - to fill a suitcase
p****d aside - chemical which kills insects
Pigs - for hanging out washing with
Pump - to act as agent for prostitute
Pug - large animal with a curly tail
Nin tin dough - computer game
Munner stroney - soup
Min - male of the species
Mess Kara - eye makeup
McKennock - person who fixes cars
Mere - Mayor
Leather - foam produced from soap
Lift - departed
Kiri Pecker - famous Australian businessman
Little crusps - potato chips
Ken's - Cairns
Jumbo - pet name for someone called Jim
Jungle Bills - Christmas carol
Inner me - enemy
Guess - vapour
Fush - marine creatures
Fitter cheney - type of pasta
Ever cardeau - avocado
Fear hear - blonde
Ear - mix of nitrogen and oxygen
Ear roebucks - exercise at the gym
Duffy cult - not easy
Amejen - visualise
Day old chuck - very young poultry
Bug hut - popular recording
Bun button - been bitten by insect
Beard - a place to sleep
Chully Bun - Esky
Sucks Peck - Half a dozen beers
Ear New Zulland - an extinct airline
Beers - large savage animals found in U.S. forests
Veerjun - mythical New Zealand maiden
One Doze - well known computer program
Brudge - structure spanning a stream
Sex - one less than sivven
Tin - one more than nine
Iggs Ecktly - Precisely
Earplane - large flying machine
Beggage Chucken - place to leave your suitcase at the earport
Sivven Sucks Sivven - large Boeing aircraft
Sivven Four Sivven - larger Boeing aircraft
Cuds - children
Pits - domestic animals

 

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_teetotalers

List of well-known teetotalers

[edit]A to E
Dick Advocaat, Dutch football coach[1]
Ryan Adams, American musician and author; stopped drinking after years of drug and alcohol abuse[2]
Tony Adams, former Arsenal captain and England International; former manager of Portsmouth[3]
Akon, rapper
Muhammad Ali, activist, athlete, boxer, former World Heavyweight Champion, Gold Medal Olympian [4]
Prince Andrew, member of the British royal family [5]
Susan B. Anthony, American women's suffrage leader
Marie Antoinette, The Queen of France during the French Revolution; married to King Louis XVI
John Ashcroft, former U.S. Attorney General [6]
Isaac Asimov, American author and chemist [7]
Reubin Askew, American politician, former Governor of Florida, United States Trade Representative and presidential candidate[8]
Barbara Bach, American actress [9]
Amitabh Bachchan Indian movie actor [10]
Ted Baillieu, Australian politician [11]
Simon Bamberger, only Jewish person elected Governor of Utah [12]
Joseph Cyril Bamford, founder of the JCB company [13]
Albert Barnes, American Presbyterian minister and Bible commentator [14]
Tyra Banks, American Supermodel and media mogul
Captain Robert Abram Bartlett, captain of ill-fated ship Karluk [15]
David Beckham, English international footballer [16]
Tony Benn, British socialist politician [17]
Hilary Benn, British politician [18]
A. C. Bhaktivedanta Swami Prabhupada, founder of the Hare Krishnas [19]
Rolando Bianchi, footballer
Joe Biden, United States Senator from Delaware and 47th Vice President of the United States, states abstinence from alcohol due to family history of alcoholism.[20]
John and Annie Bidwell, founders of Chico, California, prohibitionists [21]
Brian Blessed, British actor[22]
Hugh Bourne, joint founder of Primitive Methodism [23]
Christopher Del Bosco, Canadian freestyle skiier [24]
David Bowie, English musician [25]
James Bowman, Vermont hermit
Frankie Boyle, Scottish comedian [26]
Don Bradman, Australian cricketer [27]
Russell Brand, English comedian [28]
Ian Brown, English singer [29]
Phil Brooks, American professional wrestler, known as "CM Punk" [30]
George N. Briggs, Governor of Massachusetts from 1844 to 1851 [31]
Warren E. Buffett, billionaire Investor [32]
Gerard Butler, Scottish actor [33]
George W. Bush, 43rd U.S. President, former heavy drinker, stated he quit drinking in 1986 after determining alcohol began to "compete with his energy" [34] (see also George W. Bush substance abuse controversy)
John Cadbury, Founder of Cadbury's chocolate factory.[35]
Frank Caliendo, American Comedian and Impressionist, often mentions in live shows of having never been high or drunk.
Alastair Campbell, British broadcaster, journalist and adviser to Tony Blair
Naomi Campbell, British model [34]
Stacey Campfield, politician from Tennessee[36]
Jim Carrey, Canadian actor [37]
Dan Castellaneta, American actor famous for being the voice of "Homer Simpson" from The Simpsons
Kim Cattrall, English actress [38]
Chamillionaire (aka Hakeem Seriki), Hip-Hop Artist from Houston, TX
Johnny Chan, American poker player, winner of ten WSOP bracelets [39]
Keith Chegwin, English television presenter [40]
Djibril Cissé, French international footballer [41]
Eric Clapton, English musician [42]
John Coltrane, Jazz musician, abstained after years of drug and alcohol abuse [43]
Billy Connolly, Scottish comedian [44]
Dane Cook, American comedian [45]
Alice Cooper, Rock musician, abstinent after prolonged alcohol abuse [46]
Bradley Cooper, American actor [47]
Fearne Cotton, British TV presentor[48]
Owen Coyle, English football manager[49]
Tom Cruise, American actor [50]
Iain Dale, British Conservative commentator and publisher
Billy Davies, Scottish Football manager
Kristin Davis, American actress [51]
Lauren B. Davis, Canadian Writer [52]
Sue Denim (musician), English musician of Robots in Disguise and The Mighty Boosh fame.
Jacob L. Devers, commander of the 6th Army Group in Europe during World War II.[53]
John Diefenbaker, Prime Minister of Canada (1957–1963); told UK Prime Minister Winston Churchill, upon being offered an alcoholic drink, "I'm a teetotaler; I don't drink hard liquor." (One Canada: An Autobiography).
Josh Dies, author/singer/songwriter, teetotaler since birth on 06/12/83 [54]
Eric Dolphy, jazz musician [55]
Graeme Dott, snooker player [56]
Rosie Douglas, Caribbean politician and former Prime Minister of Dominica [57]
Neal S. Dow, an early prohibitionist who was presidential candidate for the Prohibition Party in 1880 [58]
Willem Drees, Dutch politician and Prime Minister of the Netherlands.[59]
Eliza Dushku, American actress [60]
Michael Eavis, organiser of the Glastonbury Festival [61]
Edwin Edwards, four-time governor of Louisiana
Eminem, American Rapper, now sober following rehab.
[edit]F to J
Lord Faulkner, Prime Minister of Northern Ireland [62]
Brett Favre, Minnesota Vikings quarterback [63]
Craig Ferguson, Talk show host and comedian [64]
Richard Feynman, American theoretical physicist, who abruptly decided to quit drinking during a trip to Brazil while a professor at Cornell University [65]
Vincent Gallo, American filmmaker and musician [66]
Michelle Gayle, British actress and singer [67]
Darren Fletcher, Football player for Manchester United [68]
George Galloway, British Member of Parliament [69]
Mohandas Karamchand Gandhi, Indian political leader[70]
Lee Gaze, lead guitarist in Welsh alternative rock band Lostprophets [71]
A. A. Gill, British journalist and restaurant critic for The Times [72]
Billy Graham, evangelist
Richard E Grant, English actor [73]
Pat Gray, American radio talk-show host [74]
Dick Gregory, American comedian and activist [75]
Jimmy Greaves, English Footballer [76]
Sally Greene, Theatre impressario [77]
Kathy Griffin, comic [78]
Calvin Harris, Scottish musician [79]
Elisabeth Hasselbeck, co-host on ABC's The View [80]
Davey Havok, lead singer for the band AFI and Blaqk Audio [81]
Rutherford B. Hayes,[82] 19th U.S. President, and his wife Lucy Webb Hayes [83]
James Hetfield, frontman of Metallica, after recovering from alcoholism [84]
Hinduja brothers (Srichand, Gopichand, Prakash & Ashok), Indian business family[85]
Adolf Hitler, Führer of the National Socialist Party (1921–1945) and Führer of Germany (1934–1945).[86]
Jack Hobbs, English batman [87]
Anthony Hopkins (since 1975), Welsh actor [88]
Crazy Horse, Native American leader [89]
Félix Houphouët-Boigny, first President of Côte d'Ivoire[90]
Barry Humphries, Australian comic actor and satirist, after recovering from alcoholism in the 70s.[91]
Ana Ivanović,Tennis player [92]
Samuel L. Jackson, American Oscar nominated actor - 15 years abstinent since rehab [93]
Thomas Stonewall Jackson, Confederate General and Presbyterian [94][95]
Jesse G. James, West Coast Choppers, Monster Garage [96]
Ken Jennings, Jeopardy! champ and blogger (Mormon) [97]
Penn Jillette, American magician, comedian, and member of Penn and Teller [98]
Steve Jobs, American businessman, Co-Founder and CEO of Apple, Inc. Former CEO of Pixar.
Elton John, English musician [99]
John the Stutterer, Member of Howard Stern's Wack Pack
Griff Rhys Jones, Welsh comedy writer and performer [100]
[edit]K to O
Paul Kagame, President of Rwanda [101]
Franz Kafka, Czech-Jewish novelist [102][103]
Abdul Kalam, former Indian President [104]
Ramesh Kallidai, Secretary General, Hindu Forum of Britain
Natasha Kaplinsky, British Newsreader [105]
Kim Kardashian, model and actress [106]
Peter Kay, English comedian [107]
Aga Khan IV, current Imām of the Shia Imami Ismaili [108]
Stephen King, American author [109]
Dave Keuning, guitarist for the rock band The Killers[110]
Ian Khama, President of Botswana [111]
Ann Landers, advice columnist (in one column, she mentioned she had never tasted alcohol)
Lars Levi Læstadius (1800–1861), conservative Swedish Lutheran minister
Jerry "The King" Lawler, professional wrestler and commentator (in an WWE behind the scene program Lawler said he has never consumed an alcoholic beverage).
Bruce Lee, martial arts practitioner and actor [112]
Iain Lee, British TV and Radio presenter
Mike Lewis, rhythm guitarist for the Welsh alternative metal band Lostprophets [71]
Abraham Lincoln, 16th U.S. President [113]
Blake Lively, American Actress[114]
Kenny Lofton, Major League Baseball player [115]
Amit Lohani, CEO of Max Foods Corporation [116]
Jennifer Lopez, American actress, pop/Latin, pop/R&B singer, fashion designer, and dancer [117]
H.P. Lovecraft - American Fantasy/Horror writer[118]
Rob Lowe, American actor [119]
James Russell Lowell, American poet and diplomat[120]
Lupe Fiasco- American rapper- doesn't drink because of his strong Muslim beliefs.
Ian MacKaye, musician of Fugazi and Minor Threat, founder of Dischord Records [121] Inadvertent founder of the anti-narcotic Straight Edge subculture.
Tobey Maguire, American actor [122]
Julia Mallam, English actress [18]
Bernard Manning, English comedian [123]
Marie-Antoinette, French Queen and Austrian Archduchess [124]
Chris Martin, lead singer of the British rock band, Coldplay [125]
Michael Martin, Speaker of the House of Commons in the United Kingdom [126]
Sir Stanley Matthews, English footballer [127]
Andrew McCarthy, American actor
Colman McCarthy, American peace activist and educator, often challenges his students to quit drinking for a semester and write about their experiences.
Malcolm McDowell, British actor, abstained since 1983 [128]
Ewan McGregor, Scottish actor [129]
Buster Merryfield, Actor, played Uncle Albert on Only Fools and Horses[130]
Robert Mugabe, President of Zimbabwe [131]
Jim Murphy, British politician [132]
Andy Murray, Scottish tennis player [133]
Tony Mowbray, British Football Manager
Jimmy Nail, British actor, writer and singer [134]
Carrie Nation, Notable member of the temperance movement [135]
Mike Ness, Founder, Song Writer, Lead Singer of Social Distortion
Friedrich Nietzsche, Prussian-born, German philosopher and philologist [136]
Ross Noble, English stand-up comedian [137]
Ted Nugent, American hard rock guitarist and vocalist[138]
Gary Oldman, English actor [139]
Sandis Ozolinsh, NHL defenseman [140]
[edit]P to T
Ian Paisley, Ulster politician [141]
Monty Panesar, English cricketer
Rosalind Magee Peychaud, Louisiana political figure and inlaw of Antoine Amédée Peychaud, originator of Peychaud's Bitters
Wade Phillips, head coach of the Dallas Cowboys[142]
Natalie Portman, American actress [143]
Mike Portnoy, American drummer of the band Dream Theater
Prince, American musician [144]
Jade Puget, American musician of AFI [81]
Albert Pujols, Major League Baseball player [145]
Vladimir Putin, Russian President [146]
Brett Ratner, American film director [147]
Andy Reid, head coach of the Philidelphia Eagles[142]
Harry Reid, Democratic Senate Majority Leader [148]
Trent Reznor, lead singer and founding member of industrial rock group Nine Inch Nails.
Christina Ricci, American actress [149]
Anne Rice, American author.
Terry Richardson, American photographer [150]
Bosse Ringholm, Swedish politician, former Minister of Finance and Deputy Prime Minister.
Anne Robinson, British game show host (The Weakest Link) [34]
John D. Rockefeller, Jr., industrialist and philanthropist [151]
Fred Rogers, American children's television host [152]
Henry Rollins, former Black Flag singer [153]
Hans Rollmann (1948- ), German-Canadian religious historian and columnist
Mitt Romney, former Governor of Massachusetts (Mormon) [154]
Cristiano Ronaldo, Portuguese footballer [155]
Nathaniel Philip Rothschild British financier and banking heir
Hans-Ulrich Rudel, German bomber pilot [156]
Fiona Shackleton, Divorce lawyer [157]
Bill Shankly, footballer and Liverpool FC manager between 1959 and 1974[158]
George Bernard Shaw, Irish playwright [159]
Christopher Shelton, former Historian of the Yale Political Union and former secretary of the Party of the left.[160]
Tommy Sheridan, Scottish socialist politician [161]
Sarah Silverman, American stand-up comedian, actress, and writer [162]
Gene Simmons, American rockstar of Kiss fame [163]
Frank Skinner, British comedian, who is very open about his recovery from Alcoholism.
Jada Pinkett Smith, American actress [164]
Alan Smith, English footballer [165]
John Snow, British physician [166]
Philip Snowden, British politician [167]
Dee Snider, Singer, songwriter and radio personality [168]
Hal Sparks, American actor [169]
Ringo Starr, English musician[170]
Rachel Stevens, English popstar [171]
Mark Stoermer, American musician, best known as bassist for rock band, The Killers[172]
Lucy Stone, American suffraget [173]
Taylor Swift, American singer-songwriter, actress [174]
Tilda Swinton, British Actress [175]
Catherine Tate, British comedienne and actress [176]
Teddy Taylor, British politician [177]
Teller, American magician and member of Penn and Teller [98]
Henry David Thoreau, American Transcendentalist
Bill Tilghman, US Marshal and gunslinger who owned a saloon for financial reasons [178]
Pete Townshend, English rock musician
Donald Trump, entrepreneur [179]
Victor Trumper, Australian who was among the Wisden Cricketers of the Year [180]
Tommy Tuberville (1954- ), head coach for the Texas Tech Red Raiders football team[181]
Shania Twain, Canadian singer [182]
[edit]U to Z
Matti Vanhanen, Prime Minister of Finland [183]
Stevie Ray Vaughan, American blues-rock musician
Milo Ventimiglia, American Actor [184]
Tom Waits, American musician [185]
JC Watts, Former American Congressman [186]
Rick Wakeman, English keyboardist with the progressive rock band Yes [187]
Ian Watkins, lead singer of the Welsh band Lostprophets [188]
Gerard Way, lead singer for My Chemical Romance [189]
Mae West, American actress and playwright.[190]
John Wetton, English rock singer and musician, after recovering from alcoholism [191]
Jack White, songwriter and guitarist with The White Stripes [192]
Jonny Wilkinson, English rugby union player and member of the England national team [193]
Bruce Willis, American actor [34]
Bill Woodfull, Australian cricketer[194]
Malcolm X, American activist/minister [195]
Mike Yarwood, UK comedian and impressionist[196]
Michael York, British actor [34]
Angus Young, Australian musician, lead guitarist for rock band AC/DC[197]
Frank Zappa, American musician [198]
[edit]Relationship with religion

Most practicing Hindus, Bahá'ís, Brahmins, Meivazhi-ites, Pillays, Mormons, Hare Krishnas, Muslims, Scientologists, Seventh-day Adventists, Christian Scientists, Jains, and Sikhs can be considered to be teetotalers as abstention from alcohol is a tenet of all these religions. However, there are some exceptions.
Many Christians such as Methodists, Quakers and Baptists are often associated with teetotalism due to their traditionally strong support for temperance movements and prohibition. Abstinence is not a religious requirement, but the tradition is strong enough to make ritual and recreational alcohol consumption a controversial issue among some members. Members of the Salvation Army make a promise on joining the movement to observe life-long abstinence from alcohol, but they do not consider partaking of alcohol to be inherently wrong. Catholicism, the Orthodox Churches, and Anglicanism all require wine in their central religious rite of the eucharist, and while many Protestant churches often allow grape juice or dealcoholized wine in their eucharistic celebrations, only a few Protestants require a non-alcoholic beverage as official policy. (See Christianity and alcohol.)
[edit]References

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What was the point of that ????

 

it made me feel better about myself

 

anyone from AE on that list ?

 

as a matter of fact, no.

 

Now I know what the 'Lotus limp' is... twisted my right knee whilst trying to get into the Elise in a bit of a hurry. Ouch.

 

Its called age Polanski.............a little bit older and a little bit slower

 

yes, mate. slow in and slow out from this point on.

 

Keep it clean!!