I don't know how I missed this one for so long! Ken Lee returns! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G7oGx2dImE8
You,ll never get to Ferrari level if you play/watch/listen to that oriental(not that their,s anything wrong(much) with that)crap.
Helen is the proprietor of a pub in Liverpool .. She realizes that virtually all of her customers are unemployed alcoholics and, as such, can no longer afford to patronize her pub. To solve this problem, she comes up with a new marketing plan that allows her customers to drink now, but pay later. She keeps track of the drinks consumed in a ledger (thereby granting the customers loans). Word gets around about Helen's "drink now, pay later" marketing strategy and, as a result, increasing numbers of customers flood into Helen's pub. Soon she has the largest sales volume for any pub in Liverpool ... By providing her customers freedom from immediate payment demands, Helen gets no resistance when, at regular intervals, she substantially increases her prices for beer and lager, the most consumed beverages. Consequently, Helen's gross sales volume increases massively. A young and dynamic bank manager at the local bank recognizes that these customer debts constitute valuable future assets, and increases Helen's borrowing limit. He sees no reason for any undue concern, since he has the debts of the unemployed alcoholics as collateral. At the bank's headquarters, expert traders transform these customer loans into ALKIBONDS and PUKEBONDS. These securities are then bundled and traded on the international security markets. Naive investors don't really understand that the securities being sold to them as AAA secured bonds are really the debts of unemployed alcoholics. Nevertheless, the bond prices continuously climb, and the securities soon become the hottest-selling items for some of the nation's leading brokerage houses. One day, even though the bond prices are still climbing, a risk manager at the original local bank decides that the time has come to demand payment on the debts incurred by the drinkers at Helen's pub. He so informs Helen. Helen then demands payment from her alcoholic patrons, but, being unemployed alcoholics, they cannot pay back their drinking debts. Since Helen cannot fulfill her loan obligations, she is forced into bankruptcy. The pub closes and the eleven bar staff lose their jobs. Overnight, ALKIBONDS and PUKEBONDS drop in price by 90%. The collapsed bond asset value destroys the banks liquidity and prevents it from issuing new loans, thus freezing credit and economic activity in the community. The suppliers of Helen's pub had granted her generous payment extensions and had invested their firms' pension funds in the various BOND securities. They find they are now faced with not only having to write off her bad debt, but also with losing over 90% of the presumed value of the bonds. Her beer supplier claims bankruptcy, closing the doors on a family business that had endured for three generations and her lager supplier is taken over by a competitor, who immediately closes the local plant and lays off 150 workers. Fortunately though, the bank, the brokerage houses and their respective executives are saved and bailed out by a multi-billion pound, no-strings attached cash infusion from their cronies in Government. The funds required for this bailout are obtained by new taxes levied on employed, middle-class, non-drinkers who have never been in Helen's pub. Understand now? …………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………. …… and as the victims of the carpet bagging sub-prime mortgage promoters on Wall Street would say….’the rest is history’…… God Bless America !
I LOVE MY JOB If you don't laugh out loud after you read this you are in a coma! This is even funnier when you realize it's real! Next time you have a bad day at work think of this guy. Bob is a commercial saturation diver for Global Divers in Louisiana He performs underwater repairs on offshore drilling rigs. Below is an E-mail he sent to his sister. She then sent it to radio station 103 .5 on FM dial in Indiana, who was sponsoring a 'worst job experience' contest. Needless to say, she won. Read his letter below. Hi Sue, Just another note from your bottom-dwelling brother.. Last week I had a bad day at the office. I know you've been feeling down lately at work, so I thought I would share my dilemma with you to make you realize it's not so bad after all. Before I can tell you what happened to me, I first must bore you with a few technicalities of my job. As you know, my office lies at the bottom of the sea. I wear a suit to the office. It's a wet suit. This time of year the water is quite cool. So what we do to keep warm is this: We have a diesel powered industrial water heater. This $20,000 piece of equipment sucks the water out of the sea. It heats it to a delightful temperature. It then pumps it down to the diver through a garden hose, which is taped to the air hose. Now this sounds like a darn good plan, and I've used it several times with no complaints. What I do, when I get to the bottom and start working, is take the hose and stuff it down the back of my wet suit. This floods my whole suit with warm water. It's like working in a Jacuzzi. Everything was going well until all of a sudden, my butt started to itch. So, of course, I scratched it. This only made things worse. Within a few seconds my ass started to burn. I pulled the hose out from my back, but the damage was done. In agony I realized what had happened. The hot water machine had sucked up a jellyfish and pumped it into my suit. Now, since I don't have any hair on my back, the jellyfish couldn't stick to it, however, the crack of my arse was not as fortunate.. When I scratched what I thought was an itch, I was actually grinding the jellyfish into the crack of my arse. I informed the dive supervisor of my dilemma over the communicator. His instructions were unclear due to the fact that he, along with five other divers, were all laughing hysterically. Needless to say, I aborted the dive. I was instructed to make three agonizing in-water decompression stops totaling thirty-five minutes before I could reach the surface to begin my chamber dry decompression. When I arrived at the surface, I was wearing nothing but my brass helmet. As I climbed out of the water, the medic, with tears of laughter running down his face, handed me a tube of cream and told me to rub it on my butt as soon as I got in the chamber. The cream put the fire out, but I couldn't **** for two days because my arse was swollen shut. So, next time you're having a bad day at work, think about how much worse it would be if you had a jellyfish shoved up your arse. Now repeat to yourself, 'I love my job, I love my job, I love my job.' Whenever you have a bad day, ask yourself, is this a jellyfish bad day?
Holy crap!! How does someone live through this? http://www.wdtn.com/dpp/news/video%3A-i-675-crash-caught-on-tape stupid 19yos!
She hit 21 on the weekend as you can see in the pic her thighs aren't fat http://photos.tmz.com/galleries/haydens_birthday_party#tab=most_recent Image Unavailable, Please Login
The next video was the news report: "checking to see what impact, if any, speed had on the crash..." Um what the fu**?
