Aussie joke thread

well, isn't that precious?

 

foxtrot oscar quebec victor

 

That is your funniest post ever

 

finished working for today ??

 

I never finish working.

 

you do know what work is ???

 

Of course I do. It's everything you do after you get up in the morning.

 

thanks, I've forgotten

 

Why? You don't get up in the morning?

 

This amused me
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OLIO

 

I took the wife to a disco at the weekend. There was a guy on the dance floor giving it everything he had; breakdancing, moonwalking, back flips, the works.

My wife turned to me and said, "See that guy? 25 years ago he proposed to me and I turned him down."

I said, "Looks like he's still celebrating!"

 

Congratulations!

Oh, and thanks for the invite.

 

Rural Australia Computer Terminology
A little bit of Aussie culcha.....
LOG ON: Adding wood to make the barbie hotter.
LOG OFF: Not adding any more wood to the barbie.
MONITOR: Keeping an eye on the barbie.
DOWNLOAD: Getting the firewood off the Ute.
HARD DRIVE: Making the trip back home without any cold tinnies.
KEYBOARD: Where you hang the Ute keys.
WINDOW: What you shut when the weather's cold.
SCREEN: What you shut in the mozzie season.
BYTE: What mozzies do.
MEGABYTE: What Townsville mozzies do.
CHIP: A bar snack.
MICROCHIP: What's left in the bag after you've eaten the chips.
MODEM: What you did to the lawns.
LAPTOP: Where the cat sleeps.
SOFTWARE: Plastic knives & forks you get at Red Rooster.
HARDWARE: Stainless steel knives & forks - from K-Mart.
MOUSE: The small rodent that eats the grain in the shed.
MAINFRAME: What holds the shed up.
WEB: What spiders make.
WEBSITE: Usually in the shed or under the verandah.
SEARCH ENGINE: What you do when the Ute won't go.
CURSOR: What you say when the Ute won't go.
YAHOO: What you say when the Ute does go.
UPGRADE: A steep hill.
SERVER: The person at the pub who brings out the counter lunch.
MAIL SERVER: The bloke at the pub who brings out the counterlunch.
USER: The neighbour who keeps borrowing things.
NETWORK: What you do when you need to repair the fishing net.
INTERNET: Where you want the fish to go.
NETSCAPE: What the fish do when they discover the hole in the net.
ONLINE: Where you hang the washing.

OFFLINE: Where the washing ends up when the pegs aren't strong enough.

 

Sounds legit.

 

LOLOLOL!!!!!!!!

Sounds about right for this neck of the wood

 

Good one indeed....
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The old Fast Forward/Rewind Tool.

......err, I don't just mean you.

 

LOL

 

p.s.....You must be really old. I had no idea what the correlation was.

 

Always getting older PP, but I will never catch you.

 

You've probably overtaken me. I stopped getting older years ago.

Meanwhile...for the nerds here....
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I ate some Souvlaki for lunch. Lamb, Mmmmmmmmm.

 

i 8 sum pi and it was delicious?

 

Dear me.

Since I'm young and not the least bit nerdy, I obviously didn't get the last two photos I posted.