Julia Gillard is touring the countryside in a chauffeur-driven car. Suddenly, a cow jumps out into the road - they hit it full on and the car comes to a stop. Julia, in her usual charming manner, says to the chauffeur: "Get out and check - YOU were driving." The chauffeur gets out, checks and reports that the animal is dead. "YOU were driving; YOU go and tell the farmer," says Julia. Five hours later, the chauffeur returns totally plastered, hair ruffled with a big grin on his face. "My God, what happened to you?" asks Julia. The chauffeur replies: "When I got there, the farmer opened his best bottle of malt whisky, the wife gave me a slap-up meal and the daughter made love to me." "What on earth did you say?" asks Julia. "I knocked on the door - and when it was answered, I said to them: "I'm Julia Gillard's chauffeur and I've just killed the cow."
The Arrogance of Authority A DEA officer stopped at a ranch in Texas, and talked with an old rancher. He told the rancher, "I need to inspect your ranch for illegally grown drugs." The rancher said, "Okay, but don't go in that field over there.....", as he pointed out the location. The DEA officer verbally exploded saying, " Mister, I have the authority of the Federal Government with me !" Reaching into his rear pants pocket, the arrogant officer removed his badge and proudly displayed it to the rancher. "See this ****ing badge?! This badge means I am allowed to go wherever I wish.... On any land !! No questions asked or answers given!! Have I made myself clear... do you understand ?!!" The rancher nodded politely, apologized, and went about his chores. A short time later, the old rancher heard loud screams, looked up, and saw the DEA officer running for his life, being chased by the rancher's big Santa Gertrudis bull...... With every step the bull was gaining ground on the officer, and it seemed likely that he'd sure enough get gored before he reached safety. The officer was clearly terrified. The rancher threw down his tools, ran to the fence and yelled at the top of his lungs..... "Your badge, show him your ****ing BADGE........!"
Neil Armstrong used to tell unfunny jokes about the moon and then say, I guess you had to be there.
MAYBE THE POSTMAN IS ON HORSEBACK UP IN FAR XQX ,GETTING TOS DOCS SIGNED ,SECURITY WITH BE 10% OF FNQX.(GIN GIN)NO ONE EVEN DRIVES THAT FAR NORTH. ID SAY AH AH AH
Movie clip - would never be allowed to keep talking in reality; would be crash tackled by the front 3 rows of 'patriots'.
