Aussie joke thread | Page 112 | FerrariChat

Aussie joke thread

Discussion in 'Australia' started by stephens, Oct 17, 2005.

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  1. greg246

    greg246 Two Time F1 World Champ
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  2. Horse

    Horse Three Time F1 World Champ
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    I'm very, very tired.


    Been at Cavalia all week. ;)
     
  3. Aircon

    Aircon Ten Time F1 World Champ
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  4. Aircon

    Aircon Ten Time F1 World Champ
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    I know people who have done this. I wouldn't have before reading this, and now my thoughts on the matter are confirmed.

    If you are going to ask your wife to take your speeding points, it's probably not a good idea to subsequently have an affair.

    Former British cabinet minister Chris Huhne has learnt that lesson the hard way and on Monday was sentenced to eight months' jail for perverting the course of justice.

    The case is reminiscent of the dramatic fall from grace of former Federal Court judge Marcus Einfeld in Australia in 2009.

    Einfeld made the mistake of claiming a friend from the United States was driving his speeding car.

    That lie unravelled because the friend was actually dead.

    Enfield was sentenced to three years' jail (and served two) but Huhne, 58, will likely spend just four months behind bars.

    He was sentenced on Monday alongside his ex-wife Vicky Pryce, 60.

    She received eight months' jail too, for stating that in 2003 she was behind the wheel of Huhne's BMW.

    The couple split in mid-2010 when Huhne's affair with his PR adviser Carina Trimingham was about to become public.

    Justice Nigel Sweeney on Monday said later that year Pryce, "motivated by an implacable desire for revenge ... decided to set about the dual objective of ruining Mr Huhne whilst protecting your own position and reputation in the process".

    "Your weapon of choice was the revelation of his part in the offence in 2003," the judge told Southwark Crown Court.

    "But it was a dangerous weapon because it had, in truth, been a joint offence."

    The former couple sat a little more than a metre apart in the dock as the judge handed down their sentences.

    It's unlikely they'll be that close again.

    The marriage breakdown was both public and vicious.

    Huhne eventually pleaded guilty on day one of his trial.

    But during an earlier hearing, correspondence between the 58-year-old and his youngest son revealed the damage done.

    Huhne wrote to Peter in late 2011: "I'm proud and I love you."

    To which Peter replied: "Leave me alone, you have no place in my life and no right to be proud. It's irritating that you don't seem to take the point. You are such an autistic piece of ****. Don't contact me again, you make me feel sick."

    The British tabloids splashed the story on their front pages day after day.

    When Pryce was found guilty last week - she'd run an ultimately doomed defence of marital coercion - one headline screamed: "The price of vengeance".

    When Enfield was released from Sydney's Silverwater jail in early 2011 he thanked his family and friends "for supporting me through what has been the worst period of my life".

    Before spending his first night in prison Huhne told the Guardian newspaper he felt awful that so many people he loved had been dragged into the drama.

    "I want, and have, to say sorry for not owning up when the story first came out," he said.

    "I should have owned up and got on with doing something else with my career. Lawmakers can be many things, but they cannot be lawbreakers."

    The irony is just five months after the original speeding offence in 2003, Huhne lost his licence after being caught driving while talking on his mobile phone.
     
  5. Horse

    Horse Three Time F1 World Champ
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    Sucked in.
     
  6. moretti

    moretti Five Time F1 World Champ
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    people advertise on the interweb that they will take the points hit for money here, but you have to pay the fine and also cough up the readies to the "victim"
     
  7. islerodreaming

    islerodreaming Formula 3

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    John - a proud Australian man
    I see that they are having a look at this up here. I note that one cabbie is before the courts on 12 charges of 'make false declaration' for off loading the points to family and friends - time in the big house beckons..
     
  8. kerrari

    kerrari Two Time F1 World Champ

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    LOL! I know at least one wife who negotiates her holiday destinations based on how may points she's 'accepted' recently!
     
  9. Aircon

    Aircon Ten Time F1 World Champ
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    #2784 Aircon, Mar 13, 2013
    Last edited by a moderator: Sep 7, 2017
  10. Aircon

    Aircon Ten Time F1 World Champ
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  11. Horse

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  12. Aircon

    Aircon Ten Time F1 World Champ
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    yes...he's making the steak and I'm ....oh never mind.
     
  13. greg246

    greg246 Two Time F1 World Champ
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  14. Aircon

    Aircon Ten Time F1 World Champ
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    #2789 Aircon, Mar 14, 2013
    Last edited by a moderator: Sep 7, 2017
  15. Horse

    Horse Three Time F1 World Champ
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    These papal elections have created a few twitter gems:


    * If parliament had to send out black smoke every time it didn't make a decision, day would look like night.

    * I wonder if people would get this excited if the Scientologists elected a new Tom Cruise.
     
  16. FazzerPorscheman

    FazzerPorscheman F1 World Champ

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  17. Aircon

    Aircon Ten Time F1 World Champ
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  18. Aircon

    Aircon Ten Time F1 World Champ
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  19. Horse

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  20. Aircon

    Aircon Ten Time F1 World Champ
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    ...........big ears?
     
  21. Horse

    Horse Three Time F1 World Champ
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    Poor Carl.
     
  22. Aircon

    Aircon Ten Time F1 World Champ
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    I saw an incredible thing today. Driving past Melbourne Grammar today and was surprised to see a helicopter parked on the edge of the oval. I guess someone's parents went to watch their kid play footy, or a parent teacher arvo or something.

    Anyway, bloody cool way to get around.
     
  23. greg246

    greg246 Two Time F1 World Champ
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    Or some kid had a spinal injury and need to be flown out?
     
  24. b27

    b27 F1 World Champ

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    The Alfred is 500m down the road!
     

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