Aussie joke thread

PAP. Can you look at FChat account security. It looks like someone has hacked PPs account. The above reply from the account of Aircon is sensible and helpful.

 

FO X 308withnohaildamage

 

Thank you Peter, I will have a look at my TapaTalk settings.

 

Peter is a great guy. So helpful and free with his sage advice. Roland must be so proud.

Here he is helping me again.

What a guy, and such a great shot too.
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What drugs are you on? I will have a kg thanks.

 

I AM a lovely bloke, and your photo is embedded into the post for all to see!

 

Idiot.

 

FO, I am trying to get this right to stop your whingeing.

Cost me $ 5.00 to Upgrade to TapaTalk HD and I still can't get it right.

 

See previous post.

 

No one was supposed to see my Test, you were too quick and saw it before I could Delete.

You will have to show me what I am doing wrong. I can't get it to work. Not sure if it is the Version I am using or some setting I have to look at changing.

PP will tell me I've missed again.

 

PP is correct.
















































For once.

 

Yeah...but at least you had a shot.

 

"Whoever stole my copy of Microsoft Office... I will track you down.

You have my Word..."

 

I'll be on the Outlook for you

 

Excel lent.

 

Olio

 

OMG...now what have I done!

 

You gave us the Power, we made the Point.

 

oh FFS....ok...you hit the mark.

 

Well, you gave me the Access.

 

pst off

 

Testing.
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What?

 

The following are all replies that Manchester women have written on Child Support Agency Forms in the section for listing 'father's details' or putting it another way.... Who's the Daddy?

These are genuine excerpts from the forms. Be sure to checkout No. 10. It takes First prize and No. 3 is runner up....

1. Regarding the identity of the father of my twins, Makeeshia was fathered by Maclearndon McKinley I am unsure as to the identity of the father of Marlinda, but I believe that she was conceived on the same night.

2. I am unsure, as to the identity of the father of my child as I was being sick out of a window when taken unexpectedly from behind. I can provide you with a list of names of men that I think were at the party if this helps.

3. I do not know the name of the father of my little girl. She was conceived at a party at 360 East Bolton Avenue where I had sex with a man I met that night. I do remember that the sex was so good that I fainted. If you do manage to track down the father, can you please send me his phone number? Thanks .

4. I don't know the identity of the father of my daughter. He drives a BMW that now has a hole made by my stiletto in one of the door panels. Perhaps you can contact BMW service stations in this area and see if he's had it replaced .

5. I have never had sex with a man. I am still a Virginian. I am awaiting a letter from the Pope confirming that my son's conception was ejaculate and that he is the Saver risen again.

6. I cannot tell you the name of Alleshia dad as he informs me that to do so would blow his cover and that would have cataclysmic implications for the economy. I am torn between doing right by you and right by the country . Please advise...

7. Tyrone Hairston is the father of child A If you do catch up with him, can you ask him what he did with my AC/DC CDs? Child B who was also borned at the same time.... well, I don't have clue.

8. From the dates it seems that my daughter was conceived at Euro-Disney World; maybe it really is the Magic Kingdom .

9. So much about that night is a blur. The only thing that I remember for sure is Gordon Ramsey did a programme about eggs earlier in the evening. If I had stayed in and watched more TV rather than going to the party at 56 Miller St , mine might have remained unfertilized .

10. I am unsure as to the identity of the father of my baby, after all, like when you eat a can of beans you can't be sure which one made you fart.