What is the funniest thing a cop has said to you when he pulled you over?

You are under arrest...

 

"Nice drift"

Clocked me at almost 20 over, four-wheel drifting through a favorite corner. Said he could tell I was definitely in control, and would just write me a "No Seatbelt" ticket (cheap, non-moving violation at the time, and I was strapped). Chuckling while he wrote it.

 

Where is your front plate.

 

I've never pulled over a Ferrari before...as he wrote the ticket.

 

I had one really cool experience years ago. 3am on a highway with no traffic, my 900hp twin turbo Camaro against a supercharged Cobra.

I won the race but was pulled over immediately afterwords. Thinking I'm going to jail and car impounded, officer walks up and asks for my license as I'm fumbling around for the insurance card. He says "did I ask you for it?". Nope, hold on a minute.

Comes back a few minutes later and says "Fast car! Watch out with those tires (near bald drag radials), some prick cop will probably give you a ticket for that"

And that was it. Very lucky the guy was so nice.

 

After handing him a stack of PBA cards, he says "what are you organizing and collecting these? Do you know anyone that isn't a cop? Do me a favor, call up this guy (he knew) and tell him I'm arresting you and ripping up his card"

It was a funny 2 minutes.

 

"Thanks for stopping".

 

"I said say it, not sing it", after being asked to recite the alphabet.

 

I've gotten"What were you thinking" quite a few times to which I reply "all my concentration was on my driving its not easy to drive that fast"

 

While not exactly funny, it was, "Hey, I know your sister, she still live around here?" After being pulled over for driving too fast in my 280Z with two female passengers aboard.

(In case I'm being too subtle, the 280Z was a two seater so I was a bit over capacity.)

I may have also been over capacity on my alcohol intake as well.

All of this in about 1978 or so.

He had a couple extra cars helping him out when he stopped me. Figured I was in pretty deep ****.

Told me to drive SLOWLY back to the bar I had left (turns out they had followed me out of the parking lot) drop off the girls, and then drive SLOWLY home.

Still have a picture of the car, I have no idea who the girls were.

Almost 40 years later, it seems funny to me now, but at the time? Not so much.

D
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Nice! I did the same thing (with girls) in high school. My Dad had an MG midget and I took it to school one day and when I came out at the end of the day there were a couple of girls looking at it commenting how cute it was. I of course said want to go for a ride which they did. It was a good icebreaker.

 

"How do you afford the gas for that thing?"

 

I was pulled over and had no idea why. The cop claimed I was speeding in a 25 mph zone. He was a younger guy and very cordial, asking questions about my 328. After a bit of small talk I tried to tell him that I wasn't speeding. His response was "Dude, you're driving a Ferrari, you're supposed to speed".

He sent us on our way without so much as a warning.

 

"Son, I've been waiting for you all day"
..."well I got here as fast as I could!"

 

In Holland, by the Royal Marechaussee (they were driving 911s), "We heard there was one in country, can we have a look?"

In north Walton county, middle of nowhere, "When driving one of these... you need to hold yourself back."

 

"If I didn't know any better I would think you were trying to lose me"

 

Many years ago back in Australia, late one night I got stopped by an RBT (random breath test) patrol on my way back from the service station. I don't drink, so never worry about these things, and I was distracted because I was working through a difficult coding problem in my head while I drove.

Finally the cop got to my car, leaned in the window and asked "Anything to drink tonight?" Still distracted, and only half listening, I replied "No thanks", to which he said "You know, I'm not a f*cking barman."
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Are they selling drugs for 5 cents?

 

No, the 05 story is more interesting than that.

 

Coworker at the dealer pulled over by an unmarked car driving a PWagen 930. Cop checks DL and tells him it is his lucky day. He just won a case of beer proving he could catch a 930.



I was pulled over with close friend late after having had too many. 2 cops split us up and start asking questions. Long story but I was wearing working clothes and he was wearing coat and tie. Buddy tells cop "sorry. I've had too much to drink and I called my friend to give me a ride home".
I tell cop "sorry my friend is drunk, he called me to give him a ride home".

Cops walk us back to the car and one puts his hand on my buddies shoulder and says "you should be glad you have a sober friend to give you a ride".


I neglected to tell them my buddy called from the next bar stool over.

 

I worked at a Ferrari dealer for over 2 years with an expired drivers license. I got pulled over so many times. I kept getting the same lecture "slow down!!! put a dealer plate on it!!! Carry your wallet!!!".
I finally chickened out and renewed my license.

Everyone else got tickets. I never argued, I was just polite and got away with all kinds of ****.

 

Back in 1990, my crazy Porsche mechanic got pulled over in a silver 1980 911SC, clocked doing 128 mph on I-75 in Florida. Trooper asked, "Can you tell me why you were driving 128 mph?" Mechanic said, "Because it doesn't go any faster."

Off to jail, car impounded. Some people have no sense of humor.