What is the funniest thing a cop has said to you when he pulled you over?

Pulled over in a rosso chiaro 78 308, webers, ANSA exhaust, adhering to the speed limit but in 2nd at 8000 rpm

"I suggest you be a little bit more subtle in future"

WTF. I'm in a loud, red Ferrari. How is one expected to do "subtle"?

 

Going 125 on highway.

COP: Do you know how fast you were going?

ME: Um, let's see, about 75 maybe.

COP: (snickers) Shall we call it 85 or do you want me to tell the judge you were doing over 105?

ME: Thank you officer.

 

Many years ago when there was no daytime speed limit in Montana, driving an XKE at full tilt into Missoula.....at night.......pulled over. Cop checks all my paperwork and says it's probably hard to keep that thing down!!! Do you mind if I just take a quick search inside? I said sure but be careful....there's a loaded 44 under the drivers seat.
He says, well thank you for letting me know. Off with a warning.

 

it was between you or the mustang and I've never pulled a ferrari over before

 

Officer "don't know how fast you were going when you blew past me, but your were cookin"

Me, " sorry sir, customer is complaining of a misfire above 150.

Officer " and just who is this customer?

I mention the name..

Officer, Off you go, but please slow down during traffic hours

Me " who the heck is this guy?"

Officer "never you mind"

 

The other way around but I hope you enjoy it. I grew up in a rural farm community. Every farm had their farm hand. The particular gentleman I speak of was Roger who worked at the Jenkins farm. Roger was 70 plus years old and got stopped one evening for a defective stop light. Officer friendly asks' for his license and he replies he does not have one. The officer asks if it is suspended and he says no I never had one. The officer says you have to be kidding me, over 70 years old and you never had a license? he replies " never needed one till now". He got a warning.

 

Damn, that's funny.

 

i was driving back from rome to geneva in the 512tr sometime after the mt blanc tunnel fire, which had closed off that route - so i was on the road further west to go through the frejus tunnel. anyway, there is this stretch of highway between torino and the french border where there are no exits or rest stops or gas stations between two toll booths. it was about 9am on a sunday, and i was vmaxing the 512tr. when i got to the second toll booth, i gave my time stamped ticket to the toll taker, he put it in the machine and i paid the toll, but the toll guy would not raise the bar. he just grinned and pointed to the right side of the road. i looked over, and there was a carabinieri walking over towards me.

he gets over to the car, and asks if i am having fun. i figured out what was going on, but was stuck, so i just answered that yes it was a fine morning and there was nobody on the road but me ! he said that he imagined that i had been having a very good time.....and i started imagining the worst...

then he said, 'this is a beautiful car, congratulations'. 'now i would like you to rev the engine, and then accelerate away from here as quickly as possible...can you do that for me?'

i could not believe it. but i said 'yes of course' have a good day. revved it to 4k, dropped it in gear and took off. i love italian cops !

 

Got pulled over by a sheriff. She stated "I was having a hard time keeping up with you weaving in and out of traffic". My response as I slapped the outside of the door "You should get yourself one of these"

No ticket and a smile from the sheriff.

 

Back in 2004 on the way back to UK leaving Paris in a rental Renault Espace diesel.

"Jgdc yuknca yhvdr weyhbdgk..."
"Excuse me I don't speak French"
"Good 200 Renault" I guessed that's how fast I was going.
"Sorry I have to catch the last train back to England, so I went a bit fast. And yeah, it's a very good car, I might get one when I'm home"
The officer laughed "Welcome to France!" and drove off.

 

Some years back I was a passenger in my friends "red beastie" as he called it (246 at a time when no one seemed to want them and they were CHEAP!).

He had a set of air horns installed that played a tune called "Colonel Bogey". We had just driven through a small sleepy village near my place here in the UK, turned right over the rail bridge and started to climb uphill out of the village when a motorcycle patrol cop, seemingly out of nowhere, pulled us over.

"Are you the fellow with the car horn that plays that fancy tune?" he asked my friend.

"Not sure what you mean officer?" my friend replied.

"Well if you don't mind please give me a short toot on your horn to check. Those fancy musical car horns are not road legal" the cop stated.

"OK" my friend replies (he has by now surreptitiously flicked a hidden switch).

There follows and nice short "normal" blast of the standard legal horn.

"Well I had to check to be sure. Off you go now" the cop says.

We leave him there and resume climbing up out of the village. Just before a sharp left corner my friend "flicks" the switch back and gives a nice rendition of the Colonel Bogey tune.

Looking back I saw the cop standing in the middle of the road looking not exactly bemused and shaking his head.

My friend did not hang around and we saw no sign of pursuit.

PS: Similar sounding musical horn on YouTube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VM-By7wK6zs

 

In my teens I drove a 39 Ford V8 coupe (48 merc flat head etc etc ) and considered my self to be one hot driver ... anyway during one high speed run along the highway I got pulled over by a radar cop .My Driving skills must have really impressed him because he mistook me for a really well known GP driver..

' Ok, who do you think you are? Stirling Moss............?

 

You were going "X" when you passed me. It was a marked car.

 

several years ago just prior to Xmas I was in the 328 going 81 in a 65. Cop says the usual: "Any reason why you are going so fast?" I said "I have a big bag of toys for the Durham Rescue Mission and I'm late getting them to the drop off." This was true; the cop was on passenger side and saw two giant bags of kids toys. He goes back to cruiser...writes me up for 81 knowing that 16 over is a pain in the ass in NC...cause more points, insurance hassles, etc. He hands me ticket and says: "Merry Christmas".

One of us thought it was funny.

 

Cop pulled up next to me at a stop light last december and asked: is that my Christmas present? He was smiling.

I replied: No. Its mine. I was smiling as well.

 

Back in the late '60s I was traveling in the xxx range in Norfolk, Virginia, in a Porsche... I saw the police car as it popped out of traffic behind me and I immediately pulled to the curb, put on my emergency flashers, and was standing behind my car with my license out by the time he drove up.

Policeman: "Damn! You're observant!"
Me: "You have to be when you drive as fast as I do."
Policeman: (Hesitating a second... short laugh....) "Get the hell out of here!"
Me: "Yes sir...."
Got in my car without another word and left...

 

This one was several years ago, I think 1988 or 89...

For locals, I was living and working in Toronto at the time. One Friday night, I was overwhelmed with work and stayed late, but a few colleagues called me to say basically, F- that, it will still be there tomorrow, come on out and join us.

So I spent the next several hours at the Black Sheep Pub on Yonge St north of Sheppard. People fell by the wayside over time, but at the end of the night, I agreed to drop one co-worker off at his mistress's apartment (long story) and take another one back to my place to crash for the night.

Heading south through the Yonge / Sheppard intersection, a cruiser pulled out from the side street, lit up his lights and pulled me over. My passengers were full of helpful advice at this point about how to make my upcoming life in prison a bit more comfortable.

(Note that this was about 2:30 AM.)

The officer, in full weather resistant clothing, since it was early February in Toronto, at the huge wide open intersection of Yonge and Sheppard, with wind and snow whipping between the high rise buildings.... God it was ugly out... Proceeds to tell me how many tickets he was going to give me.

You ran a red light. "I'm sorry officer, I don't think so. It just turned yellow as I was approaching the intersection, and in these conditions..."

You're operating a motor vehicle without a muffler. "I swear to god, that must have just blown today. I have never heard that..."

You have an expired tag. "OK. Perhaps I'm a bit late..." Your tag expired in June. It's February. 'Alright. Fair enough on that one."

And you were traveling 25 kph over the limit. "Oh, I don't think so Sir. I was..."

Then came the clincher.

Listen. I will buy your story about those two guys being why this car stinks of beer. But in return, you are going to take every one of these tickets without argument. Otherwise, you can step out into this **** with me and blow into a breathalyzer.

"Well, to be honest, Officer, the muffler did blow a couple of weeks ago, and in my rush to get my friends safely home I may have been speeding a little..."

My two passengers never stopped talking about how obviously I had a guardian angel looking over me that night.

Or horseshoes up my rear end. One or the other.

 

Funny you should mention Stirling Moss - it has been told that he was driving along at someplace or other in the UK on a wet and windy day (as always over here!) in a regular non-descript car and stopped to wait for a set of traffic lights to change.

Whilst waiting a police motorcyclist pulled up alongside him, also waiting for the lights to change. Stirling glanced over and noticed the cop was revving the bike for whatever reason. So he (Stirling) playfully gave his car a few revs in return.

The cop must have been annoyed by this so "tapped" on the window and indicated he should wind the window down.

As Stirling wound the rain-streaked window down the cop said "Who do you think you are? Stirling Moss?"

I gather the expression on the cops face when he saw it actually was Stirling Moss was priceless.

 

I was pulled over in my 996 back around '06. My windshield had gotten a crack during some "offroading" at a trackday, and had just been replaced. The shop had misplaced my rear view mirror, and I chose to drive the car for the two days it took until they got a new one. I was standing outside of the car as he come up to me, and completely deadpan says, "I see you follow the first rule of Italian driving" in the most hilarious Italian accent. And I could of course not help but follow that up with the iconic line "What's behind me, is not important" in similarly cheesy Italian accent. Looked the car over, asked me to be careful and let me off with a warning.

 

Not really funny but certainly most unique and memorable time for me...

Was playing cat and mouse with another car on the way home one night. Cop comes out of nowhere, pulls me over then jumps out in the middle of the road and points the other guy, who must have seen him and had slowed considerably, to the shoulder.

He asked the typical "Do you know how fast you were going?" My answer was the also typical " No idea Sir" to which he replied "Well neither do I but I was doin over 100 to catch up with you".

He went and "chatted" with the other driver, back to his car to run both our ID's and came back to my window. I had in all honesty probably been doing around 80 in a 60, enough for a pretty spendy ticket. He proceeded to lecture me about how he had witnessed a fatality the week before, had just started his shift today, and first thing he sees is the two of us "racing" down the highway. Then he let me go with a written warning and a heartfelt request to slow down.

I did slow down....at least until I was well out of sight.

 

that's a great story!

 

I was out on a country road on my Suzuki Hayabusa. I decided to let it rip through the gears, and just as I was shifting out of 4th gear (145 mph) I went by an unmarked squad car. He pulled me over, and I as I was walking back towards his car I pulled of my helmet. When he saw my balding head with gray temples he said "Aren't you too old for that?". He let me go with nothing more than a lecture and a verbal warning

 

During the inaugural Cannonball Baker Sea to Shining Sea Memorial Trophy Dash in the wee hours of the morning I was driving our "drive away" Caddy at our customary off the peg 120 mph on the Pennsylvania Turnpike when we were pulled over by a state trooper who obviously had a hard time catching up to us. His first words were: "Who do you think you are, a racing driver?" I pulled out my racing license and handed it to him. To our amazement he laughed and let us go. He had no idea that we were actually in a cost to coast race. We were not as fortunate with the next 6 police stops, including one at gunpoint!

 

So cool...... Love to have been part of the original

 

Few weeks ago I was testing an M3 in Wisconsin, I was making 120 in a 40 zone ( no cars around) and from the opposite a cop saw us.
I ask the commercial agent: we should run? 😅😅
He said no man we have to stop...
I said: ok but you talk to him.
So the cop approached to us asking why so fast. The guy told him that we were testing the transmission and so. And the cop was cool and let us go.

PD: when he ask me for the driving license, I have hime a British one 😁😂


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