Thank the Lord, it's Abu Dhabi at last

Nico rosberg gazes out over the desert, fire in his eyes at last, straight wins and looking to one final victory to set up a more satisfactory end to yet another underwhelming season. Victory in Abu Dhabi must surely mean that he starts 2016 on a positive note, with Mercedes finally getting behind him at least 50/50, surely the last few performances have shown he CAN beat Elton at his own game

Sebastian vettel smirks over the same vista, this is it for Ferrari? Turn the new engine up to 11, hope she holds, and race those mercs to the death at the scene of one of his most unlikely of championship wins.

He'll be hoping Kimi stays off the voddie Saturday nite and rear guns for him should they get ahead, long as 'bottles' doesn't fancy some more Finnish obstinace and sits on an apex somewhere stupidly awkward. A few 'pole dance' tokens might be offered for the end of season party to encourage him to be less Finnish, more Johnny Herbert and let Kimi keep all four wheels for this last race

The lotus team are on their way, don't worry, they havent arrived yet but since they were denied access to the team airfreight, and team lorries, hitching a ride with 100 staff, two complete cars and enough spares for six more (pastors driving again!) is a bit of an imposition, but they've done worse, and just hope someone paid for the sandwich van to pitch up in the paddock!

Honda have already arrived, having borrowed engines from their competitors, Toyota, straight out of the 2016 Prius, but promising more usable bhp and torque than bolting two of their 'firework' jobs together.

Fernando Alonso has packed a deck chair, chequers board and a solar powered coffee machine in readiness for qualifying and the race. Jenson decided against bringing his, he after all relies on Japanese technology to give him a good race - he packed his PS4 with a copy of F1 2009, just so he remembers what it's like to drive a good car

Felipe Massa has brought his son along for moral support, and rob smedley has been teaching the lad English. Expect the BBC interviews to involve lots of 'ee bye gum, dada int aff flying' from the youngster, who is dealing with a major breakfast tea addiction as we speak, and will already be under the dentist for major tooth reconstruction by the time he is 12

Will Stevens and Alex Rossi are expecting great things this weekend, the marrusias have an improved package in Abu Dhabi, realising an improvement of almost five seconds per lap - so they will only be fighting 4 laps down this weekend! However, Fernando has still asked if he can have a go, he'd like to see what it's like to finish a lap again!

So race fans, what are we hoping for, a free for all nutcase race with cars breaking as they let lose every horsepower and hope they don't explode, or the typical drone of overpowered vacuums being teased over the line and the usual winners?

 

Who knew! Hahahaha. I don't think many of them have been for a couple seasons!

 

You never know, 2016 might be the start of something special - but I won't hold my breath!

 

NEWS JUST IN- Renault have agreed to supply red bull for 2016. The catch is the seasons engines will arrive in bits in one massive box on 1st February, with instructions written in Chinese. Apparently carlos says that if red bull gives you wings, prove it!

Christian Horner has already stated its not much different to usual, except now they have to play the tapes backward of the engines in normal use exploding and watch where the parts came from

 

There should always be grid girls, gorgeous leggy ones. It's the only bit I look forward to these days. My missus will get really annoyed if I make her stand by the telly every fortnight holding a Ferrari flag in a miniskirt while I watch the grid walk otherwise!

 

It certainly should have! We need a Las Vegas trip to make up for the boredom, mr mayor! How's it going bob, I suppose xmas is your busiest time in the toy business?

 

Course you are! Haha! Greetings Pete!

 

Breaking news! Lewis Hamilton causes a stir with his arrival!
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Damned rosberg and and his people carrier now he has kids, how dare he claim the corner!