Favorite Toasts?

My son is getting married this Summer. As father of the groom, I will doubtless have opportunities for toasts to the couple. Anyone have any favorites? Poignant, funny, whatever.

 

Here's to: Living single, seeing double and sleeping triple.

 

Say this to the bride.

When I met you I was sure you were a "Two condom girl" but since then, you got pregnant....NOW WASN'T THAT A SURPRISE!?!

Cheers!

 

French toast with strawberries and bananna's... (I skipped lunch today)

 

That'd be a memorable reception dinner!

 

OMG......

 

i've always liked:

from true colors, "We may not always get what we want, We may not always get what we need, just so long as we don't get what we deserve!"

from master and commander, "To our wives and girlfriends .......... may they never meet"

and i don't recall where i stole this from, "Here's to better days and better lays"

 

"Here's not to the stork that brings good babies, nor to the raven that brings bad babies, but to the swallow that brings no babies."

 

Not exactly a toast per se, but a good line nonetheless - if you are still married, that is.

We've had a wonderful day today - beautiful weather, an ideal location, a tasteful ceremony, meaningful vows, nice music, all our family and friends in one location........boy, the next time I get married, I'm gonna do something just like this!

<Pause a few seconds>

Just kidding, dear!

Neil

 

ba-da-boom!

that's GREAT. i WILL use that someday.

doody.

 

Said in a slurred voice: "Good luck....hic-up! You're gonna need it!"

 

An old woman who lived next door to me for years, from Corsica, gave this toast in french: "To our women and our horses, and those who mount them."

 

"Here's to bowlegged women....."

 

The only toast I can remember when I'm drunk: (gotta make sure to raise your shot glass above, below, and besides the other shot glasses at the appropriate time)

"Never above ya, never below ya, always besides ya, I'll see you at the bottom"

 

As you begin your honeymoon, keep in mind
... these are the days to remember.

"As you go through your life together
... these are the days to remember.

"When he spills his drink on your new silk dress, or she backs into your Ferrari
... these are the days to remember.

"When your son shaves his head or your daughter is out with a leather clad biker
... these are the days to remember.

"Don't remember the fights, the issues, the problems
... remember these days.

"And when you grow old together and think your life has become boring
... remember what kind of hell blind dates were."

 

"To Honor:

Get honer, keep honer.
And if you can't come in her, come on her."

 

Wedding toasts, not beer chants

 

I envision a very entertaining day...

 

How about:

Weddings revolve around three rings. First comes the engagement ring. Then comes the wedding ring then comes the suffering.

 

I remember David Lee Roth saying that in an interview back in the early 80's.

Good times....

 

I'm embarrassed to say that I don't "get" this one.

 

To our wives and our girlfriends! May they Never meet!

Thats a good one (already said).

I was at one a few years back and the toast toward the end was good. Have to be real serious and tell them how you admire the love that has grown and how they are better people together. Blah Blah Blah.

Then you tell the groom to put out his hand, face down. Have the bride put her hand face down DIRECTLY UNDER his. You then make the announcement, in a some what humorous tone, that this is THE LAST TIME he will **EVER** have the upper hand.

That one always stuck out.

 

That's always mine I use at the bar with my girl friends.

 

Just to clarify, are they ALREADY your g.f.'s or is it that pick up line that MAKES them your g.f.'s??

 

One of the only regrets in my life is that I didn't put more effort and time into the toast at my brother's wedding. I said something cheesy about hoping they had many years of happiness together and that was about it.

Thanks to modern technology there are all kinds of wedding toasts out there to find. Here is one that I thought was pretty good.....

"My Greatest wish for the two of you is that through the years your love for each other will so deepen and grow, that years from now you will look back on this day, your wedding day, as the day you loved each other the least."

Or you could try this one....

"Just remember, love is grand...divorce is a hundred grand"