Marital Problems | FerrariChat

Marital Problems

Discussion in 'Other Off Topic Forum' started by Tspringer, Jun 1, 2006.

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  1. Tspringer

    Tspringer F1 Veteran

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    One evening last week, my wife and I were getting into bed.

    Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says "I don't
    feel like it, I just want you to hold me."

    I said "WHAT??!! What was that?!"

    So she says the words that every husband on the planet dreads to
    hear.. "You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman
    enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man." She responded to
    my puzzled look by saying, "Can't you just love me for who I am and not
    what I do for you in the bedroom?"

    Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep.

    The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with
    her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big,
    unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried on
    several different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one
    to take so I told her we'd just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to
    compliment her new clothes, so I said let's get a pair for each outfit.
    We went onto the jewelry department where she picked out a pair of
    diamond earrings. Let me tell you...she was so excited. She must have
    thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was
    testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even
    know how to play tennis. I think I threw her for a loop when I said,
    "That's fine, honey." She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from
    all of the excitement. Smiling with excited anticipation she finally
    said, "I think this is all dear, let's go to the cashier."

    I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No honey, I don't
    feel like it."

    Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled
    "WHAT?"

    I then said "Honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while.
    You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me
    to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman." And just when she had this
    look like she was going to kill me, I added, "Why can't you just love me
    for who I am and not for the things I buy you?"

    Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either.
     
    Tspringer, Jun 1, 2006
    #1
  2. bill365

    bill365 F1 Rookie

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    BWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!! ROTFLMAO !!!

    I wish I had thought of that one Terry, I could have used it in the past.
    .
    I will in the future, I'm sure of it !!
     
    bill365, Jun 1, 2006
    #2
  3. BigAl

    BigAl F1 Veteran

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    GSgt Hartman
    not to rat you out, BUT I just found tons of links.....nice try
     
    BigAl, Jun 1, 2006
    #3
  4. Alex_V

    Alex_V F1 Rookie BANNED

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    BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
     
    Alex_V, Jun 1, 2006
    #4
  5. asb9987

    asb9987 F1 Rookie

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    OMG HAHAHAHA! That requires a standing ovation! I'm buying you a pitcher of your favourite beer.
     
    asb9987, Jun 1, 2006
    #5
  6. ernie

    ernie Two Time F1 World Champ Lifetime Rossa Owner

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    The Bad Guy
    AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAahahahahahahaha, deep breath, HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! :D

    Oh man that was beautiful!
     
    ernie, Jun 1, 2006
    #6
  7. Tspringer

    Tspringer F1 Veteran

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    Oh come on..... OF COURSE I cut and pasted it.....

    My wife would have ignored me and put it all on a credit card... and I STILL wouldnt have gotten laid!




    Terry
     
    Tspringer, Jun 1, 2006
    #7
  8. BigAl

    BigAl F1 Veteran

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    BWAAAAA!!!!!
     
    BigAl, Jun 1, 2006
    #8
  9. WILLIAM H

    WILLIAM H Three Time F1 World Champ

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    That was CLASSIC, I'll have to remember it :)

    You are a Brave man, hats off to you
     
    WILLIAM H, Jun 1, 2006
    #9
  10. DrStranglove

    DrStranglove FChat Assassin Owner Rossa Subscribed

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    God, give me the strength to do this to my girlfriend!!!

    (Though it is tough to find a night that she does NOT put out.)
     
    DrStranglove, Jun 1, 2006
    #10
  11. bhuta

    bhuta Karting

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    That is AWESOME.......!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
     
    bhuta, Jun 1, 2006
    #11
  12. WILLIAM H

    WILLIAM H Three Time F1 World Champ

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    How I miss Wedded Bliss LOL

    If my gf told me that I'd tell her I'd see her tomorrow & call the other 1 ;)
     
    WILLIAM H, Jun 1, 2006
    #12
  13. steve f

    steve f F1 World Champ

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    ha ha ha very good will have to remember that one
     
    steve f, Jun 1, 2006
    #13
  14. ag512bbi

    ag512bbi F1 Veteran Owner Silver Subscribed

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    YOU GOT BALLS!!!! GOOD MAN!
     
    ag512bbi, Jun 1, 2006
    #14
  15. Kds

    Kds F1 World Champ

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    Priceless !!!
     
    Kds, Jun 1, 2006
    #15
  16. Westworld

    Westworld Three Time F1 World Champ Silver Subscribed

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    Classic...

    Remind me never to get married....:)
     
    Westworld, Jun 2, 2006
    #16
  17. Lemke

    Lemke F1 Rookie

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    I second that
     
    Lemke, Jun 2, 2006
    #17
  18. Ulmis

    Ulmis Formula Junior

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    awesome, but I wonder if it`s a fact or fantasy
     
    Ulmis, Jun 2, 2006
    #18
  19. sparta49

    sparta49 F1 Veteran Owner

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    That was great. :)
     
    sparta49, Jun 2, 2006
    #19
  20. Iain

    Iain F1 Rookie

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    That one's been around for a while - still brings a smile everytimeI see it though!

    I.
     
    Iain, Jun 2, 2006
    #20
  21. robert biscan

    robert biscan F1 Veteran Silver Subscribed

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    Fantasy on the shopping part of the story, the sex part sounds about right.
     
    robert biscan, Jun 2, 2006
    #21
  22. F1Ace

    F1Ace F1 Rookie

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    Just in case it's not clear...THIS DIDN'T HAPPEN!!!

    It's a popular story that is making the rounds. Cleaverly placed here...but NOT TRUE!!! OK? :(
     
    F1Ace, Jun 3, 2006
    #22
  23. wax

    wax Five Time F1 World Champ Lifetime Rossa

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    wax, Jun 3, 2006
    #23
  24. Dan Ciezniewzky

    Dan Ciezniewzky Formula 3 BANNED

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    hahha, am I the only one who would have the balls....or stupidity to actually do that??
    Ive had an idea just like that for years, should I ever be put in that place, seems to me to get the message across PERFECTLY clear...no?

    deffently will be getting an iron clad prenup for sure!!!
     
    Dan Ciezniewzky, Jun 3, 2006
    #24
  25. TheBigEasy

    TheBigEasy F1 World Champ Consultant

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    Haha, someone is from Miami.
     
    TheBigEasy, Jun 5, 2006
    #25
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