Couple 'o jokes to get you in Thanksgiving mood!-----

Three men died on Christmas Eve and were met by Saint Peter at the
pearly
gates. "In honor of this holy season," Saint Peter said, "you must
each
possess something that symbolizes Christmas to get into heaven."

The first man fumbled through his pockets and pulled out a lighter.
He
flicked it on. "It represents a candle," he said.

"You may pass through the pearly gates," Saint Peter said.

The second man reached into his pocket and pulled out a set of keys.
He
shook them and said, "They're bells."

Saint Peter said, "You may pass through the pearly gates."

The third man started searching desperately through his pockets and
finally
pulled out a pair of women's panties.

St. Peter looked at the man with a raised eyebrow. "And just what do
those
symbolize?"

"They're Carols".
---------------------------------------------------------------


A man enters a confessional and says to the Irish Priest, "Father, it
has
been one month since my last confession. I've had sex with Fannie
Green
every week for the last month."

The priest tells the sinner, "You are forgiven. Go out and say three

'Hail Mary's'."

Soon, another man enters the confessional. "Father, it has been two
months
since my last confession. I have had sex with Fannie Green twice a
week
for
the last two months."

This time the priest asks, "Who is this Fannie Green?"

"A new woman in the neighbourhood," the sinner replies.

"Very well," says the priest. "Go and say ten 'Hail Mary's'."

The next morning in church, the priest is preparing to deliver his
sermon
when a gorgeous, tall woman enters the church. All the men's eyes fall
upon
her as she slowly sashays up the aisle and sits down in front of the
Altar.

Her dress is green and very short, with matching shiny emerald green
shoes.
The priest and altar boy gasp as the woman sits down with her legs
slightly
spread apart, Sharon Stone-style.

The priest turns to the altar boy and whisperingly asks, "Is that

Fannie Green?

The altar boy replies, "No Father, I think it's just the reflection
off
her
shoes."