Friday Joke | FerrariChat

Friday Joke

Discussion in 'United Kingdom' started by sletti, Feb 6, 2004.

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  1. sletti

    sletti F1 Veteran
    Lifetime Rossa

    Nov 19, 2003
    5,084
    NW Kent
    Full Name:
    Stig W
    Thought I'd try and beat Tony to it.....




    As a senior citizen was driving down the motorway, his car phone rang.

    Answering, he heard his wife's voice urgently warning him, "Bert, I just heard on the news that there's a car going the wrong way on on the M25. Please be careful!"

    "It's not just one car," said Bert, "It's hundreds of 'em!"
     
  2. 360CS

    360CS F1 Rookie

    Nov 1, 2003
    2,641
    Kent
    Full Name:
    Joe J
    I heard that was a 308 with sports wheels Stiggy..hahhahahahhaha!!!

    Nice one chap!! and thanks for last night...
     
  3. tonyh

    tonyh F1 World Champ
    Lifetime Rossa Owner

    Dec 23, 2002
    14,372
    S W London
    Full Name:
    Tony H
    Q. What do you call a woman who knows where her husband is every night?

    A. A widow





    Q.How did the blonde die raking the leaves?

    A. she fell out of the tree
     
  4. tonyh

    tonyh F1 World Champ
    Lifetime Rossa Owner

    Dec 23, 2002
    14,372
    S W London
    Full Name:
    Tony H
    PETER KAYS UNIVERSAL TRUTHS
    >
    > 1) Triangular sandwiches taste better than square ones.
    >
    > 2) At the end of every party there is always a girl crying.
    >
    > 3) One of the most awkward things that can happen in a pub is when your
    > pint-to-toilet cycle gets synchronised with a complete stranger.
    >
    > 4) You've never quite sure whether it's ok to eat green crisps.
    >
    > 5) Everyone who grew up in the 80's has entered the digits 55378008 into
    > a calculator.
    >
    > 6) Reading when you're drunk is horrible.
    >
    > 7) Sharpening a pencil with a knife makes you feel really manly.
    >
    > 8) You're never quite sure whether it's against the law or not to have a
    > fire in your back garden.
    >
    > 10) Nobody ever dares make cup-a-soup in a bowl.
    >
    > 11) You never know where to look when eating a banana.
    >
    > 12) Its impossible to describe the smell of a wet cat.
    >
    > 13) Prodding a fire with a stick makes you feel manly.
    >
    > 14) Rummaging in an overgrown garden will always turn up a bouncy ball
    >
    > 15) You always feel a bit scared when stroking horses.
    >
    > 16) Everyone always remembers the day a dog ran into your school.
    >
    > 17) The most embarrassing thing you can do as a schoolchild is to call
    > your teacher mum or dad.
    >
    > 18) The smaller the monkey the more it looks like it would kill you at
    > the first given opportunity.
    >
    > 19) Some days you see lots of people on crutches.
    >
    > 20) Every bloke has at some stage while taking a p**, flushed half way
    > through and then raced against the flush.
    >
    > 21) Old women with mobile phones look wrong.
    >
    > 22) Its impossible to look cool whilst picking up a Frisbee.
    >
    > 23) Driving through a tunnel makes you feel excited.
    >
    > 24) You never ever run out of salt.
    >
    > 25) Old ladies can eat more than you think.
    >
    > 26) You can't respect a man who carries a dog.
    >
    > 27) There's no panic like the panic you momentarily feel when you've got
    > your hand or head stuck in something.
    >
    > 28) No one knows the origins of their metal coat hangers.
    >
    > 29) Despite constant warning, you have never met anybody who has had
    > their arm broken by a swan.
    >
    > 30) People who don't drive slam car doors too hard
    >
    > 31) You've turned into your dad the day you put aside a thin piece of
    > wood specifically to stir paint with.
    >
    > 32) Everyone had an uncle who tried to steal their nose.
    >
    > 33) Bricks are horrible to carry.
    >
    > 34) In every plate of chips there is a bad chip.
    >
    > 35) Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; Wisdom is not putting it
    > in a fruit salad.
     
  5. 360CS

    360CS F1 Rookie

    Nov 1, 2003
    2,641
    Kent
    Full Name:
    Joe J
    The last granma I saw using a mobile had it up the wrong way and it was switched off ..saying again over and over "Hello" "Hello" "Hello"!
     
  6. sletti

    sletti F1 Veteran
    Lifetime Rossa

    Nov 19, 2003
    5,084
    NW Kent
    Full Name:
    Stig W
    JJ

    Outside.....again!!!

    Last night did feel good, didn't it?

    [FRANKIE HOWERD MODE=ON]
    oooooer, missus
    [/FRANKIE HOWERD MODE=OFF]

    Stig
     
  7. tonyh

    tonyh F1 World Champ
    Lifetime Rossa Owner

    Dec 23, 2002
    14,372
    S W London
    Full Name:
    Tony H




    Or trying to turn telly over with the mobile......
     
  8. sletti

    sletti F1 Veteran
    Lifetime Rossa

    Nov 19, 2003
    5,084
    NW Kent
    Full Name:
    Stig W
    A friend of mine acyually turned up at her math gcse exam, got out her pencil case and calculator, and realised that she had brought the remote for her video...
     

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