sore belly laughs... when?

Ive had many bellay aching laughs. The best was when i was rollerblading down the street with my friend and we come to this hill, now we have gone down this many times. So we pick up speed and at the bottom of the hill there is this truck. Now we only have one brake on the Rollerblades so its nire impossible to stop when going fast. We see the truck and i get out of the way, but my friend was going to fast and couldnt move. He decides to slide on his knees to maybe stop, he hits his face on the truck like a cartoon, then slides under the truck. Im laughing my ass off and didnt realize there was another turn, i hot the curb and go flying into a bush. The icing on the cake was that there were two little mexican workers sitting under a tree eating and were practically crying. I make my way back to my friend and i couldnt control my laughter because on the side of the truck there was impression of his side dented into the truck. O man good times.

The second best was when we were feeling rebellious so we took two police barricades and put them in the street. As we filmed what would happen a person going like 30 plows right into the barricade, o man it was glorious.

 

I'm in pretty good shape, I think it would take an extremely long time of laughing to make my abs ache.

Although, once when I was younger, I was eating fajitas at a decent sit-down mexican restraunt in a corner booth with my father. We were laughing and telling jokes and the sort, and he speared a piece of steak(maybe 2" long, .5" wide/thick), but he didn't mean to, so he shook his fork to get it off, and this piece of steak flew up in the air, over a table to a couple who were reading their menus in the center of the restraunt. The wife was holding her menu reading it(her back towards us), husband engrossed in reading his menu perpendicular to his wife. This piece of steak goes flying across the restraunt, and lands square in the center of the wifes menu while she is reading it(the menu is in her hands, mind you), and it sticks right there where the main Entree list is. At this point, both my father and I bust out in uncontrollable, loud, laughter, and she takes two fingers and removes the steak from her menu. Suprisingly, she never turned around once(but she could SURE hear us laughing behind her!). The husband didn't have any idea that this happened at all, he was still reading his menu. We thought it best to ask for the check at this point, and laughed all the way home.



-DC

 

A friend of mine worked at a car wash. Next door was a small used car lot. There was a loud bell mounted on the outside of the car lot office that was connected to their phone so that the salesmen could hear the phone when they were outside. One day my friend saw the car salesman out near the front of the lot fiddling with one of the cars. My friend picks up his phone and calls the car lot. The bell rings, the salesman runs several hundred feet back to the office to answer the phone. As the salesman enters the door, my friend hangs up the phone. The salesman comes out of the office and heads back to the front of the lot. When he gets all the way to the front, my friend dials the car lot number again. The salesman starts running back to the office to answer the phone. When he enters the office, my friend hangs up the phone. You get the routine. After about 4 cycles of this "Pavlovian Dog" scenario, the now exhausted salesman finally waves his hands in disgust toward the office as the phone bell is ringing off the wall!
Just another boring day at the car wash.

 

I was still in college and my Dad and I go to the grocery store to pick some things up while Mom makes dinner. We get in the checkout line and the women in front of us is buying d-o-u-c-h-e. Not just any d-o-u-c-h-e, but like the big super saver family size pack. There were like five bottles in there. It's sitting on the belt with a couple cans of soup or something; staring at us like a big white elephant. Dad and I look at eachother and then quickly turn away because we both realize we're about to burst out laughing. After what seems like hours the lady in front finally leaves with her groceries and the first words out of my father's mouth are "Man, it must be a really bad case!"


When I was little there was a kid in the neighborhood I didn't like so I loosend the front axle nuts on his bike. Everything is fine until he pops a wheelie and his front tire takes off down the street! His eyes got big as saucers but the funny part was when the forks came down sparks started shooting from the road. Amazingly he stayed upright while trailing sparks down the road until he got into the grass and the forks sunk into the ground. This of course threw him head first over the front of the bike and he sailed like superman into a hedge. Man, you couldn't have planned that any better


In college I had a siren on my car which I had found at a flea market. I had it wired to my car alarm but I installed an extra switch inside the car so I could turn it on whenever I wanted. Late at night if there was a doofus in front of me I would hit the siren and flash the headlights. He'd immediately pull over and I would zoom by One night I pull up to a stoplight behind a rather old beaten up car whose driver looks one step away from homeless. As I roll up behind him he takes a long swig out of whatever is in the brown paper bag and just then I hit the siren. You can practically see his cheeks full of booze while his instinctive reactions take over: He chucks the bottle out the window. Outside the window was another car which it then smashed into...


Same car, same siren. A buddy and I are headed home from school in Austin on some holiday weekend. We're doing 75 or so when we get passed by a car full of gorgeous blonde co-eds. I let them go buy and when they are about 3 car lengths ahead I hit the siren. This car has like 5 chicks in it and the driver slams the brakes so hard the ones in the back practically end up in the front. They drop way the heck back and are frantically looking around for the cop. Few minutes later they slowly come by again. I wait for them to pass, turn on the siren and again the driver mashes the brakes so hard the car is swerving around on the road with blondes flying everywhere inside. A couple minutes later they come by again and this time when I hit the siren they all turn around and glare at me while giving me the finger. Dumb blondes