Dictionary for Women's Personal Ads ----------------

DICTIONARY FOR WOMEN'S PERSONAL ADS:

40-ish.............................................49

Adventurous.................Slept with everyone

Athletic......................................No boobs

Average looking....................Ugly

Beautiful...........................Pathological liar

Contagious Smile..................Does a lot of pills

Emotionally Secure......................On medication

Feminist..........................................Fat

Free spirit....................................Junkie


Friendship first..........................Former slut

Fun..........................................Annoying

New-Age..............Body hair in the wrong places

Old-fashioned.............................No BJs

Open-minded.................................Desperate

Outgoing........................Loud and Embarrassing

Passionate...............................Sloppy drunk


Professional....................................*****


Voluptuous...................................Very Fat

Large frame.................................Hugely Fat
Wants Soul mate.............................Stalker


WOMEN'S ENGLISH:

1. Yes = No


2. No = Yes


3. Maybe = No


4. We need = I want..

5. I am sorry = you'll be sorry

6. We need to talk = You're in trouble

7. Sure, go ahead = You better not

8. Do what you want = You will pay for this later

9. I am not upset = Of course I am upset, you moron!

10. You're certainly attentive tonight = Is sex all you ever think about?


MEN'S ENGLISH:


1. I am hungry = I am hungry

2. I am sleepy = I am sleepy

3. I am tired = I am tired

4. Nice dress = Nice cleavage!

5. I love you = Let's have sex now

6. I am bored = Do you want to have sex?


7. May I have this dance? = I'd like to have sex with you

8. Can I call you sometime? = I'd like to have sex with you

9. Do you want to go to a movie? = I'd like to have sex with you

10. Can I take you out to dinner? = I'd like to have sex with you

11. I don't think those shoes go with that outfit = I'm gay