How poor 'were you'

Don't Forget The Lamp.

PD

 

My parents weren't ready to have a child; but they had one, anyway... Two years later, they had me... They still weren't ready... We had macaroni and cheese for dinner, 6 nights a week; on the seventh night, we didn't have anything... i think ours was the only apartment in the Bronx that didn't have roaches, 'cause we were too poor to have enough food where we'd drop a crumb or two for the roaches to feed on... Money was tight; my father worked 18 hours a day, 7 days a week... i barely saw him until i was about 10... That was around the same time i got my first job, working with my brother, delivering newspapers... We had the biggest route in the neighborhood... My mother took all my money and shoved it up her nose...

Of the little money my folks DID have, my father spent on things he wanted... My Pumas had soles that looked like racing slicks, but there was a forty thousand dollar entertainment system sitting in the living room at home... All of BROTHER'S clothes were beginning to get small on me, but my father somehow managed to have THREE computers, modems and five phone lines for his silly internet BBS crap...

Eventually he did better, financially, but i seldom saw first hand proof... So, at 15, i left home with a dime in my pocket; literally, one dime... LOL, not two nickels (that i could at least rub together ), just one dime... i haven't been back since...

Even when i was sleeping in the train station, begging people for quarters so i could "use the telephone" and starving 'cause i was too proud to dig through a garbage can for food, i still didn't go back... i worked whenever and wherever i could; boarding school was fun... When i was 16, i finally managed to get a social security number - 'cause my folks were too lazy to get it for me when i was born - and i started getting real jobs... On the books, paying taxes kinda jobs... i worked two full time jobs while i was in high school... i had one job after another, after another, after another... Working here at the FML is #23 or 24 in my lifetime - the count is so high, i don't even remember anymore... i've worked everywhere; Grand Union, Pizza Hut, Friendly's, an alarm company, an answering service, a ball bearing company, an insurance company, Target, delivering newspapers, i was a door to door salesman, i was a proof reader, i've worked at Mobil, Citgo, Blockbuster, i worked for a window-washing company, i've worked in delis, liquor stores, a candy store, you name it... i did whatever i could to make a few bucks...

After 5 years of high school, a failed attempt at college and dead end job as a graphic designer, i moved in with my uncle, in CT...

Big mistake.

He was poorer than i was. Back then, "ends" must've been parallel lines, 'cause we worked as much as we could to make them meet, but it never happened... Our phone was shut off, our electric was shut off, i was stealing returned bottles and cans and RE-recycling them for money... i would go to the grocery story, steal hearing aid batteries, then come back the next day and return them for money... We even stole electricity... We stole gas, i stole money from my job - things STILL weren't right... i was working 18 hours a day and we still weren't getting it right... It got to a point where i was working a day, sometimes a day and a half straight... My personal record is 35 straight hours, between two jobs... My uncle picked me up at the end of my quadruple shift from the my second job, drove me home and i passed out; didn't wake up for 22 hours...

i left CT a year and a half later, after going through 6 jobs...

i moved to Long Island to live with other relatives... Things there were a bit better... Then i moved out of their house and into my own place. Back to square one. On the good days, i had TWO cheese sandwiches, instead of one... It was a bit of a struggle... Late at night, hungry, digging under my car seats for pennies, hoping i could scrounge up enough money for a few White Castle burgers - and that was less than a year ago...! It's been a bit of a struggle...


But nothing makes someone feel as poor as when they're alone... i would go back to stealing hearing aids in a heart beat if it meant that i would never lose the friends that i have now... i may not be rich, but i'm very wealthy; no amount of money is worth the friendships i have; Bruce, Andrea, Gus & Josie, most of all...

Like someone else said, poor is just a state of mind.

 

"were"? I stil am.

 

When I was born, my Mom, Dad, two brothers and Grandfather (6 of us) lived in a two-bedroom, one-bath 900 square foot house.

Later, my grandfather died and my Dad added 300 square feet onto the same house (now up to 1200). My oldest brother slept in our den in a Murphy bed (it pulled out of the wall)... poor guy never even had a bedroom. When my Dad wanted to watch TV, he'd get out a divider so my brother could sleep.

We lived in that house until I graduated from college. We weren't poor, we were solid middle class. I had to beg my folks for a pair of Converse All-Stars for park district basketball... they were $12 when Keds were $8. I didn't get a car when I turned 16.

My Dad was an accountant for the local public utility company... he was the most honest person I've ever met. He never once called in sick. A great guy who put his family first... always.

We were NOT poor... as a matter of fact, I feel like the luckiest guy in the world BECAUSE of my upbringing. I had everything I ever needed... and real respect for how lucky I am now.

 

The way things are right now I hardly get to see the people I love. It has been really hard for me the past 6 months. They mean more to me than anything. I would give up everything right now to be able to spend time with them. I know that if I end up broke with nothing they will still be there for me unlike most of the people I know. Nothing can take the place of a person that loves you, no amount of money can ever buy you that.

 

When I lived in Brazil I was invited to a friends house for lunch. He lived in a extravagant home complete with armed guards and dogs (Lots of DOGS!!) as much as I enjoyed the environment I didn’t enjoy the experience as much as I did dinner with my driver at his humble “Shack” (for lack of a better word). Once a month they would save up enough money for a few chickens and beef to BBQ. He had an old sink in the back yard that he would fill with coals and placed a grate over it to cook the meat! NOW that was some good BBQ! Great food! Great company! No one complained about nothing! A sharp contrast to my lunch.

Proof that you don’t need money to be happy!

PD

 

The poorest I've ever been was also the best time of my life. I drove an XKE Roadster, and lived with a big red dog, in a 1961 Ford Panel truck parked at an oceanside campground outside of Eugene Oregon.
Those were the days!!

 

wow....
Sorta makes me feel like, although my dad doesnt make 500 thousand dollars a year (although it is well into the 100, possibly 200 thousand dollar range with his new job), i've always been "spoiled" (Although by comparison to other friends and stuff, I've been neglected )
You wouldn't think that my dad made great money by driving past our house (except for the G35 in the driveway)....4 bedroom, 3 bath, ranch style house...nuttin special....my bedrooms like 12' x 16'...small, but I sorta like it like this better than a larger bedroom....
My parents only recently accepted the whole videogame thing, so I went for YEARS feeling deprived cause all my friends had the Sega Saturn, N64, Sega Saturn, etc.....Finally a few years ago my parents got me and my bro a PlayStation...then when PS2 came out, we go that too....but no DVD player, cause the PS2 can play DVD's
I got a job delivering newspapers when i was in the 5th grade....saved up all my $$$ and bought a GoPed....saved up after that for some guitar gear (amp, effects processor, new guitar...)...saved up after that and put together a computer system for myself (2 years ago...still have it now....Athalon 1.4 GHz, 60GB hdd, 256mb DDRAM, upgraded from a radeon 7500 to a 9200 video card....altec lansing 4.1 surround speakers, SBLive sound card...17' flat screen.....i'm happy with it )

So no, I've fortunatly never been poor or anything like that, but my parents are on the stingy side...
Never went for the name brand clothing really....i mean, I had 2 or 3 pairs of Jnco jeans when the super wide/baggy pants thing was in (4th grade for me, lol), but i've got about 10 tee-shirts, and maybe 5 pairs of shorts....3 of the tee-shirts were freebies (hey, whos gonna pass up on a Soyo Motherboards tee-shirt...got it when i got my computer, the place i orderd my stuff sent me a bunch of free stuff .... the shirt with my soyo motherboard, some ATI pens, etc.), and the shorts I got when they were on sale for like 10 bucks a pair at Kohls...Meh, Might be that its how I've always been brought up or whatever, but I dont care much for the name brand stuff, lol
But I see my friends parents go out and buy them ATV's, dirt bikes, cars, laptops, etc....my parents never bought me anything like that....yeah, they helped me buy a bike when i was in the 4th grade (Dyno Air GT, lol), an accoustic guitar for my birthday one time, the computer monitor (170 bucks at Comp USA...flat screen CRT, NOT LCD)
Oh well.....I'm not complaining, but what I do wish I had was more attention from my parents...errr...more support for the stuff i like and crap like that....they pay attention to me, but laugh at my "crazy ideas" about cars and stuff....I tell them I want to go to a car show or up to the drag strip to watch the races and crap, and they say no that they dont want me going by myself....but there seems to always be something that causes them to not be able to go with me.....
Ahhh well, enough of my rambling.....sorry to have taken up so much of your time, lol

 

I know this sounds like a cheesy, cliche response, but reading things like this really helps me. I graduated college four months ago, have no job, and have lost some of my motivation and ambition because I'm not already doing something "great". I have good plans for the future, but nothing comes free.

Thanks for the encouragement.

 

I was so poor that when I was a kid, I had to sleep in a cardboard box that our color TV came in. Later on, things got better when I borrowed some money from Jobe's turkey.

 

There was a time when I only had two Armani Suits.


(Brrrrrrrrrrr.....!!!!! )

 

Not too many years ago, I was working as a Teaching Assistant at a university while chasing a graduate degree. TAs actually make under minimum wage. I lived in a $150/mo apartment that had windows missing from the frames, which I 'repaired' with duct tape. There was a point where I didn't have gas service throughout an entire winter, and had to take showers in near freezing (literally) water in an apartment that was unheated. That was just about as close to homeless as I've gotten.

Deciding to get into IT in 1994 worked out really well for me.

 

NNO, having read that, it makes me wish you someday get your Enzo even more...

/Peter

 

NNO, I had no idea you didn't have a degree. I assumed you had a degree in journalism or something like that, because your write so well.

 

That's because he practices a lot here on Fchat

 

Boo-hoo all around:
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LOL, a degree...? Are you kidding me...? i have a special ed. high school diploma that i barely earned... A degree was not gonna come easy; the second time i tried my hand at college, things went a little better... Still i dropped out with a 3.8 because i'm stubborn and i have a problem with authority... In all honesty, i just don't think i could cut the mustard...


Peter, thank you; the beauty of it all, is that i WILL have an NNO someday... and i'll drive around the world, giving everyone FerrariChat a ride & drive...


Ike, hang in there... It's tough, i'm sure, but just know that it's worth it in the long run...

 

Wow Carbon, what a story. I take back all those bad things I said about you. Ah, wait a minute, I never said anything bad, did I?

Seriously, compared to you, I grew up a rich spoiled suburban kid, who later became a broke hippie by choice. In fact, your story makes me realize how good I had it. My parents weren't rich. Being a Navy officer didn't pay all that well then or now. Nor were they doting parents who catered to my every whim.

But, I grew up on the water in Florida. Me and my buds all got paper routes so we could afford to buy Honda 90s. I went to decent schools and never had to worry about food and whatnot. And, most importantly, I was loved. Maybe we weren't all that close, but I always knew that they cared about me. They also cared enough to constantly nag me about going to school.

But we can't change the past, can we? All you can do is to keep looking out the front windshield. What's in the rear view mirror doesn't count.

So here are a few words of wisdom for you (sorry but I did used to be a college professor, and it is hard NOT to give advice.)

1. Your past experiences to the contrary, most people are kind and caring folks. I offer Carol and Gerald as two examples. The key is to not let the Alan Lambos of the world get you down.

2. As soon as possible, you need to start taking some night classes. We can't help how dumb or smart we may be. But you can do something about ignorance.

3. Don't look back!

Dale

 

Agreed. I thought you were a professional journalist. NNO, my hats off to your perserverance through those struggles.

 

Hey wait a minute...that sounds a lot like "The Jerk". I suppose you were also born a poor black child??!!



NNO I just always remember that what doesn't kill me, makes me stronger!! It takes great inner strength to make it through adversity like you have and still turn out to be a decent person!!

 

I wasn't too poor 'till I started this little project:
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This is a great thread. My family has never been poor and im gratefull opf that, but i know that my dad came to this country from Lebanon about 30 years ago with $17.43 exactly in his pocket. My dad owns his own buisness and is very succesfull. I hope i can be half the man that he is.

 

NNO, Thanks for the kind words.

 

Dale, Clifford, John, thank you... It could've been a lot worse... i had it pretty easy compared to most of the folks i went to boarding school with... One girl i knew got her FIRST sexually transmitted disease when she was nine years old; herpes; she got it from her father...

i like the life i've had; it's taught me a lot; a lot about life and the world and people; stuff no school could ever teach... i have very few regrets.


Ike, how often do you get to speak with them...? Do you call or write letters...? Do they contact you...? Is it possible for you to take a weekend out of your time to go see them...?

 

I feel the same of my life. While I have had failed relationships and hurts I have learned something about myself in each situation. As I look back I remember the good times I had in those situations.

Two of my closest friends were each in a different country for school since May. Now that they are back I get to talk to them on the phone pretty often, that has been nice.

I'm planning on driving up to Memphis sometime in the next couple of months to visit one.

My other friends live semi-close to me but with our busy and different schedules it is hard to ever see them.

I can't complain too much b/c I get to speak to them but I miss being able to sit in person and talk. I guess i'm the type of person that needs human contact. Over the past year I have had so much going on in my life with certain situations, it has taught me how special these people are to me.