Something is VERY wrong.... | Page 2 | FerrariChat

Something is VERY wrong....

Discussion in 'Ferrari Discussion (not model specific)' started by Steve R, Dec 17, 2004.

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  1. jakermc

    jakermc Formula 3
    Owner

    Jan 17, 2004
    1,804
    Palm Beach, FL
    Full Name:
    Rob
    You might have a warranty claim. Did you buy it from a dealer and get the extened warranty? If not, you can still make claims on equipment related to (nocturnal) emissions for up to 8 years.
     
  2. tbakowsky

    tbakowsky Two Time F1 World Champ
    Consultant Professional Ferrari Technician

    Sep 18, 2002
    20,037
    The Cold North
    Full Name:
    Tom
    You wanna grab the girls huh..Well a dirty jeep YJ..with no doors and you looking like the rugged guy we know you are..Or a nice pick-up or SUV towing a nice boat..with room for sun tanning.

    Hate to say it..the only women your going to grab with a Ferrari are cougars or hookers..most girls when they see a Ferrari..think "nice car..but your tring way to hard". This is directly from my Girlfriend. (HI BABY :)).
     
  3. dm_n_stuff

    dm_n_stuff Four Time F1 World Champ
    Lifetime Rossa Owner

    Dec 10, 2003
    43,878
    26.806311,-81.755805
    Full Name:
    Dave M.
    It may not be his warranty that wasn't extended.
     
  4. Birdman

    Birdman F1 Veteran

    Jun 20, 2003
    6,689
    North shore, MA
    Full Name:
    THE Birdman
    LMAO...What a great post! My Ferrari only seems to attract the attention of other men. It would apparently be a great car for a chick to drive!

    Maybe I need a big gold medallion?

    Birdman
     
  5. Dom

    Dom F1 Veteran
    Owner

    Nov 5, 2002
    8,489

    Same here. And, my weewee has gotten smaller since I bought the car. Maybe I should have bought a 12 cylinder???

    By the way, for all of you with small weewee's. You do understand that you must only date women with small hands, so they make it look bigger...

    Dom
     
  6. tbakowsky

    tbakowsky Two Time F1 World Champ
    Consultant Professional Ferrari Technician

    Sep 18, 2002
    20,037
    The Cold North
    Full Name:
    Tom
    HA!!! LOL..too funny! LMAO!!
     
  7. Birdman

    Birdman F1 Veteran

    Jun 20, 2003
    6,689
    North shore, MA
    Full Name:
    THE Birdman
    This thread is rapidly degenerating...but I like it!

    Small hands! Ha!!
     
  8. kito

    kito Karting

    Sep 12, 2004
    215
    Full Name:
    Keith

    The boat trick seems to work well
     
  9. LAfun2

    LAfun2 Three Time F1 World Champ

    Oct 31, 2003
    39,248
    California
    Full Name:
    Ryan
    When you take the wedding ring off. ;)
     
  10. WILLIAM H

    WILLIAM H Three Time F1 World Champ

    Nov 1, 2003
    35,532
    Victory Circle
    Full Name:
    HUBBSTER
    if you really want to get chicks you need to spedn $$$ on a nice wardrobe of quality italian suits, sign up for dancing & art appreciation & philosophy lessons

    As for the manhood, some Viagra will do wonders for that :) LOL

    & its all a lot cheaper than a Ferrari, Man are we a bunch of schmucks or what ?!?! LOL
     
  11. BigTex

    BigTex Seven Time F1 World Champ
    Owner Rossa Subscribed

    Dec 6, 2002
    79,406
    Houston, Texas
    Full Name:
    Bubba
    Dance lessons! Great idea...........then as you leave alone, walking forlornly back to your car, silently glistening in the rising moonlight............

    You hear someone calling......

    Dear Penthouse Forum,

    .............,..... ..... ...... ......
     
  12. Ferrari 328 Euro

    Ferrari 328 Euro Formula Junior

    Jul 19, 2004
    423
    Salem, MA
    Full Name:
    Brandon
    I'm still waiting to hear what the definition of the "Irish Curse" is.... I'm getting a little shaky here as I am part Irish...
     
  13. LAfun2

    LAfun2 Three Time F1 World Champ

    Oct 31, 2003
    39,248
    California
    Full Name:
    Ryan
    reposted from this thread:
    http://www.ferrarichat.com/forum/showthread.php?t=18071&highlight=355


    I was washing my red 355 in the driveway, when I saw a yellow Pontiac Firebird WS6 stop, and out came this beautiful woman. She had the curves like a F50 and was stunning to look at. She came up to my car, didn’t say a word, and took my hand into hers. I was shocked, as this has never happened to me. We then went in the garage, closed the door, and made wild lustful love till the morning. I didn’t even catch her name. Needless to say the Ferrari didn’t get washed.


    Then yesterday I was driving down Pacific Coast Highway in Malibu, with a starbucks coffee in one hand, cruising in my 355, and I stopped at a traffic light. This sultry, sensuous brunette, who looked like a movie star, rolled down her windows on a vibrant silver 911 Turbo, and said “Hey handsome, want to follow me to bed?” Of course, being the shallow guy I am, I followed her home, and as Maranelloman likes to say “I’d hit it over and over again.” Oh what an incredible night, overlooking the Pacific on her veranda, and enjoying her moans which were sweeter than my Tubi equipped 355.


    Last Thursday, I was coasting in my Ferrari by the local college (UCLA), and this redheaded 18 year old bombshell standing in front of Mrs. Fields Cookie store in Westwood, ushered me to with her fingers, and I followed her to her dorm room and it was the most orgasmic experience of my life.


    Owning my 355 has been the best experience of my life. I do nothing but pull it out of the car cover and wash it in the driveway, hoping the passer bys would notice my Ferrari, and that would impress them, and it has worked. Women fall head over heals when they see the prancing horse, and they force me to take them to my bedroom to make love to them all night. I love driving to Starbucks with the Ferrari, and just put the Prada keychain next to my coffee while I admire my car in the parking lot, and women of all kind, married, single, divorced, come up to me and throw me their numbers. I get stopped at lights, followed at grocery stores, I mean I can’t keep these stunningly beautiful woman away from me. All this is a result of my Ferrari ownership. I love this car! I don’t do a mile over 55, never speed, and always drive with the windows rolled down. I make sure to drive the car, when and where I will be most visible, as the poseur factor is incredible. God I am glad I got the Ferrari, and am using it for its intended purpose! I love the fact that I don't have to have a personality, as the woman are just drawn to me by my car.

    Oh god, what a life it has been.
     
  14. lawwdog

    lawwdog Formula 3

    Dec 4, 2002
    1,178
    Northern California
    Full Name:
    Mario
    Steve,

    You need to do the following to get the attention you are looking for...although it is suggested but not recommend.


    When sunny and 70 degrees or more drive with the top up and windows up...

    When cold and 50 degrees or less drop the top and windows..wear a jacket and cruise like you are Eric Estrada from CHIPS.

    All else fails, put a rainbow sticker on the bumper !!!

    Mario

    P.S. I have never done any of this but every time I see someone doing this I look, my wife looks, and a whole lot of people stare like hell !!!
     
  15. Helmut

    Helmut Formula Junior

    Dec 11, 2004
    640
    I am from europe so let me teach ya history.
    Selflove is the key and it is closely connected to the "F"-word, it dates all the way back to a greek dude called Narcissus who had gotten himself into a pissing contest with Dinysos over some girl (virgin, of course) needless to say Narcissus lost, so he went out in the late 70's and bought himself a Ferrari (308, just like mine :) ) he loved it so much that he drove up to Dionysos's window and yelled out "who the hell needs chicks when you can have a Ferrari", and that's how the term Narcisism came about. All this time, up to present day (damn... that's almost 30 years!) Narcisism and the "F"-word has cured many of the big D/ hairiness desire.
    Make sure you take plenty of pictures of yourself in your ferrari, certain intersections come in handy, just wait for the lil red light, which means the camera is on, just like on your camcorder.

    :) :) :)
     
  16. Steve R

    Steve R F1 Rookie
    BANNED

    Sep 15, 2004
    3,018
    MeSoNeedy, CA
    Full Name:
    TorQ Master
    #41 Steve R, Dec 17, 2004
    Last edited by a moderator: Sep 7, 2017
    Mario,

    You went and done it....

    While your humor is well appreciated, you have neglected to fuel the continued degeneration this thread. I read no sexual connotations or references to size of our sexual reproductive organ. Where's the perversion???? If you can't take it to a sicker place...then perhaps you need to re-think your post?

    CAPTAINS LOG Day 3

    Found myself looking through the Fredericks of Hollywood website, trying to find some nice lingerie for my wife...something in Red with, say...a prancing horse. The world is coming up Ferrari.

    As I drive down the street I eye each and every Italian restaurant. Are the tears in the waiters eyes from the onion.....or are they weeping in lust, yearning to experience what it is to live The Life Ferrari.

    New perspectives come to mind. Woman with small hands huh???...and they talk about how Italian's have small hands to work on these cars. Might be onto something there......

    Went by FX-Performance, my boy Costa hooked me up with a challenge grill that came off a recent car. Put some skid-pads on the front and gave me a huge thumbs-up for scoring on an awesome condition car.

    Went by Meridian and discovered that I, yes I am in fact the kind of guy who would spend $3,000 on an exhaust system. Wonderful, my exhaust system costs more then my entire first car did. Will this sickness know no end???

    On the way home I accidently found myself needing to get over one lane real fast. I had to slow down to work my way in and found the blasting of a horn coming from behind me: some ****** in a Lexus 430 blasting away. I move up toward the end of the divide and allow enough room for him to pass. As he passes he screams with bitter hate "Rich F*ck!!!!".....well, alas...I may not have a big dick, but that jerk WAS a big dick. This too a part of The Life Ferrari.

    And now, a picture of the elf that would join me for my Christmas day jaunt through the hillside
    Image Unavailable, Please Login
     
  17. ArtS

    ArtS F1 World Champ
    Owner Silver Subscribed

    Nov 11, 2003
    14,006
    Central NJ
    Barchetta,

    If I recall, the "Curse of the Isish" means you are hung like a flea.

    Regards,

    Art S.
     
  18. dm_n_stuff

    dm_n_stuff Four Time F1 World Champ
    Lifetime Rossa Owner

    Dec 10, 2003
    43,878
    26.806311,-81.755805
    Full Name:
    Dave M.
    Wait a minute.....

    I seem to recall from Bio class that Fleas are actually hung like horses.
     
  19. Chiaro_Slag

    Chiaro_Slag F1 Veteran

    Oct 31, 2003
    7,789
    CA
    Full Name:
    Jerry
    Bingo!

    lol
     
  20. 134282

    134282 Four Time F1 World Champ
    BANNED

    Aug 3, 2002
    40,647
    California
    Full Name:
    Carbon McCoy
    Proportionately, the barnicle has the largest penis in the world.


    ...and this Irish curse thing sounds like crap to me; i'm pretty sure the "myth" is the other way around...
     
  21. TiAmoVeloce

    TiAmoVeloce Karting

    Nov 17, 2003
    82
    So. California

    I understand the anatomical enlargement you speak of is in Mental Inches. The formula was explained to me as:

    6 cyclinder cars are 1.5 inches, 8 cyclinder cars are 2.0 inches,
    12 cyclinder cars are 4 inches and the Super Exotics are 6 inches.

    Wheels, wings and cosmetics are good for only tiny fractional increases in size. But turbos, Nox, and loud stainless exhausts are noticable size increases.

    Now that you know the formula you can feel more confident and your pants should feel a little more snug.

    Happy motoring.
     
  22. Z0RR0

    Z0RR0 F1 Rookie

    Apr 11, 2004
    3,470
    Montreal, Canada
    Full Name:
    Julien
    That's one thing I don't wanna see Mythbusters mess around with!!!

    BTW, those ebay ads are sick!!!! Who in their rigt mind would buy and wear a scarf (among others) that's been dangling on some freak's ****?!?!??!?! eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww
     
  23. Steve R

    Steve R F1 Rookie
    BANNED

    Sep 15, 2004
    3,018
    MeSoNeedy, CA
    Full Name:
    TorQ Master
    No....fleas are simply found where horses are hung.
     
  24. lawwdog

    lawwdog Formula 3

    Dec 4, 2002
    1,178
    Northern California
    Full Name:
    Mario
    Father Steve,

    Forgive me for I have sinned... it has been 6 hours since my last confession.

    I am sorry for not keeping this thread the way you have intended..for this I ask for your forgiveness and I offer the following advice as my restitution.

    When wanting to gain attention from beautiful woman who may offer the opportunity for a quick red line experience I have found that during my ownership that the less armani you wear the better. I have been offered 2 quickes in the last 6 months. Both were beautiful (can be verified by another F-chatter) and both opened the conversation by saying "that is a beautiful car". My response to both ..(no B.S.) thank you...but the car is nothing compared to how you look.

    Both woman had smiles a mile long and they both responded with a thank you and the follwoing: " So....would a ride with you be as quick as the car?"

    My response.... I'm married..... to there dismay they both responded ... too bad.. I have always wanted a ride like that.

    My imagination still runs out of control thinking of the possibilites.

    This also created tremendous chemical inbalances that led to increased blood flow in multiple areas. ... The size of my head did in fact grow, no hair loss occured, and I do remember having a fairly large increase in labido those 2 evenings.

    I of course am happily married and for a split second wondered if I would be as fast with them as the Ferrari...nasty thoughts of the top down...doors open...and beautiful woman wanting a full throttle push to red line still has me smiling.

    My advice to you...when given the smile you need to be the agressor and pay the compliment... more often I think they really want to know if a gentleman is behind the wheel or another former Corvette owner looking for the next camaro club woman.

    Mario
     
  25. Ferrari 328 Euro

    Ferrari 328 Euro Formula Junior

    Jul 19, 2004
    423
    Salem, MA
    Full Name:
    Brandon
    Thanks for explaining what the IRISH CURSE is.... Whew!.... what a relief that I am only 1/4 Irish!
     

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