STUPID jokes only!

Smith goes to see his supervisor in the front office. "Boss," he says, "we're doing some heavy house-cleaning at home tomorrow, and my wife needs me to help with the attic and the garage, moving and hauling stuff."

"We're short-handed, Smith" the boss replies. "I can't give you the day off."

"Thanks, boss," says Smith "I knew I could count on you!"

 

A bus of politicians is driving by a farm where a man lives alone. The bus driver, caught up in the beautiful scenery, loses control and crashes into the ditch. The man comes out and finding the politicians, buries them.

The next day, the police are at the farm questioning the man. "So you buried all the politicians?" asked the police officer. "Were they all dead?"

To which the man replied, "Some said they weren't, but you know how politicians lie."

 

So there's these 2 muffins in an oven.

They're both sitting, just chilling and getting baked.

And one of them yells "********, it's hot in here!"

And the other muffin replies "Holy Crap, a talking muffin!"

 

What kind of bees make milk?





Boo Bees

 

hi honey

doh!

 

I saw this on an episode. I think the one where Marsha got hit in the nose with a football.

"my friend works for a light switch company. I asked him how his job is. he said "It's OFF and ON".

 

What did the hotdog say when he crossed the finish line?



I'm the weiner

 

Jonas

 

I had this weird dream I was a car last night.....



I woke up exhausted!!!!



ahhhh, it makes me laugh every time

 

Why did Barbie never once get knocked up ??

Cause Ken was in a different Box.

 

What did the snail say when he was riding on the turtle's back?












WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!

(kids love that one. )

 

A mushroom asks a woman out on a date.

She says "why should I go out with you?"

He says "because I'm a Fun-Guy"

 

good thread

 

What do you call a lesbian dianosaur? A Lick-a-lot-o-puss!!!!

 

How can you tell if two lesbians are twins?

They "lick-a-like"

 

Why did the Octopus blush?



Because the sea weed.

 

Did you hear about the whore in the leper colony?

Her business fell off.

 

Is Mike there?

Mike who?

Mike Hunt

 

(woman yelling over a crowd)

has anyone seen Mike Hunt?

 

forgot what i was going to say