Russ 512M's Cafe/Bar---- | Page 764 | FerrariChat

Russ 512M's Cafe/Bar----

Discussion in 'United Kingdom' started by F355girl, Aug 27, 2004.

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  1. steve f

    steve f F1 World Champ

    Mar 15, 2004
    12,119
    12cylinder town
    Full Name:
    steve
    and i burnt the clutch out so thats another £5.50p for a new clutch unlike ferrari clutches £££££££££££ millions
     
  2. tonyh

    tonyh F1 World Champ
    Lifetime Rossa Owner

    Dec 23, 2002
    14,372
    S W London
    Full Name:
    Tony H
  3. GrahamS

    GrahamS F1 Veteran
    BANNED

    May 29, 2004
    5,480
    24 hours from Tulsa
    Full Name:
    Grandmaster G
    have you tried jettisoning some of the pork pies you don't need? :)
     
  4. Nicola

    Nicola Formula Junior

    Sep 10, 2004
    621
    Northampton
    read this and learn...

    WOMEN'S ENGLISH
    1. Yes = No
    2. No = Yes
    3. Maybe = No
    4. We need = I want...
    5. I am sorry = You'll be sorry
    6. We need to talk = I need to complain
    7. Sure, go ahead = I don't want you to
    8. Do what you want = You'll pay for this later
    9. I am not upset = Of course I am upset, you moron
    10. Are you listening to me?? = Too late, you're dead
    11. You have to learn to communicate = Just agree with me
    12. Be romantic, turn out the lights = I have flabby thighs
    13. Do you love me? = I am going to ask for something expensive
    14. It's your decision = The correct decision should be obvious by now
    15. You're certainly attentive tonight = Is sex all you ever think about?
    16. I'll be ready in a minute = Kick off your shoes and find a good game on TV

    MEN'S ENGLISH
    1. I am hungry = I am hungry
    2. I am sleepy = I am sleepy
    3. I am tired = I am tired
    4. Nice dress = Nice cleavage!
    5. I love you = Let's have sex now
    6. I am bored = Do you want to have sex?
    7. What's wrong? = I guess sex is out of the question
    8. May I have this dance? = I'd like to have sex with you
    9. Can I call you sometime? = I'd like to have sex with you
    10. Do you want to go to a movie? = I'd like to have sex with you
    11. Can I take you out to dinner? = I'd like to have sex with you
    12. Will you marry me? = I want to make it illegal for other men to have sex with you
    13. You look tense, let me give you a massage = I want to have sex with you within the next 3 minutes
    14. Let's talk = I am trying to impress you by showing that I am a deep person and then I'd like to have sex with you
    15. I don't think those shoes go with that outfit = I'm gay
     
  5. sletti

    sletti F1 Veteran
    Lifetime Rossa

    Nov 19, 2003
    5,084
    NW Kent
    Full Name:
    Stig W
    Just popping in for a gloat, my fellow nerds; Going to see Episode III in a little under an hour.

    Bring on the popcorn....... :)
     
  6. Fan512bbi

    Fan512bbi Two Time F1 World Champ
    BANNED

    Mar 25, 2004
    20,938
    Wales-UK
    Full Name:
    Steve.
    Nicola :D there as never been a truer thing wrote.
     
  7. Nicola

    Nicola Formula Junior

    Sep 10, 2004
    621
    Northampton
    I am actually a little surprised by the male english.

    Sometimes I am naive...lol
     
  8. tomw

    tomw Formula 3
    Silver Subscribed

    Feb 25, 2004
    2,357
    London
    Full Name:
    Tom
    Booked up for the weekend, stupidly right in the middle of the cup final. Doh.
     
  9. Nicola

    Nicola Formula Junior

    Sep 10, 2004
    621
    Northampton
    A test....

    In the world of romance, one single rule applies:
    Make the woman happy. Do something she likes, and you get points. Do something she dislikes and points are subtracted.

    You don't get any points for doing something she expects. Sorry, that's the way the game is played.
    Here is a guide to the point system:

    SIMPLE DUTIES
    You make the bed (+1)
    You make the bed, but forget the decorative pillow(0)
    You throw the bedspread over rumpled sheets (-1)
    You go out to buy her what she wants (+5) In the rain (+8) But return with Beer (-5)
    You check out a suspicious noise at night (0)
    You check out a suspicious noise, and it is nothing(0)
    You check out a suspicious noise and it is something (+5)
    You pummel it with iron rod (+10)
    It's her pet (-10)

    SOCIAL ENGAGEMENTS
    You stay by her side the entire party (0)
    You stay by her side for a while, then leave to chat with a college buddy(-2)
    Named Tina (-4)
    Tina is a dancer (-6)
    Tina has silicon implants (-80)

    HER BIRTHDAY
    You take her out to dinner (0)
    You take her out to dinner and it's not a sports bar (+1)
    Okay, it's a sports bar (-2)
    And it's all-you-can-eat night(-3)
    It's a sports bar, it's all-you-can-eat night, and your face is painted the colours of your favourite team (-10)

    A NIGHT OUT
    You take her to a movie (+2)
    You take her to a movie she likes (+4)
    You take her to a movie you hate (+6)
    You take her to a movie you like (-2)
    It's called 'DeathCop' (-3)
    You lied and said it was a foreign film about orphans (-15)

    YOUR PHYSIQUE
    You develop a noticeable potbelly (-15)
    You develop a noticeable potbelly and exercise to get rid of it(+10)
    You develop a noticeable potbelly and resort to baggy jeans and baggy Hawaiian shirts (-30)
    You say, "It doesn't matter, you have one too." (-8000)

    ENJOY THE BIG QUESTION
    She asks, "Do I look fat?" (-5) [Yes, you lose points no matter what]
    You hesitate in responding (-10)
    You reply, "Where?" (-35)
    Any other response (-20)

    COMMUNICATION
    When she wants to talk about a problem , you listen, displaying what looks like a concerned expression (0)
    You listen, for over 30 minutes (+50)
    You listen for more than 30 minutes without looking at the TV (+500)
    She realizes this is because you have fallen asleep (-10000)

    Now what chance do you have???
    Let see what you lot all score
     
  10. collette 512bbi

    collette 512bbi Formula Junior

    Sep 9, 2004
    363
    Wales-UK
    Full Name:
    Collette
    I like your scoring system on men.:D
     
  11. spidermanUK

    spidermanUK Formula 3

    Feb 26, 2005
    1,609
    UK
    Full Name:
    Clive
    The display on my calculator won't go high enough with a minus in front of it!:confused:
     
  12. collette 512bbi

    collette 512bbi Formula Junior

    Sep 9, 2004
    363
    Wales-UK
    Full Name:
    Collette

    Pardon I missed that. BTW hi.
     
  13. Fan512bbi

    Fan512bbi Two Time F1 World Champ
    BANNED

    Mar 25, 2004
    20,938
    Wales-UK
    Full Name:
    Steve.
    Who let you out of the kitchen ?????
     
  14. spidermanUK

    spidermanUK Formula 3

    Feb 26, 2005
    1,609
    UK
    Full Name:
    Clive
    Good evening! Mrs.512bbi
    Nicola asked what scores we all might get, I just observed that when I totted up my score, it was so far into the minus that my calculator showed error!:)
     
  15. noony

    noony F1 Veteran

    Nov 25, 2003
    5,903
    Seoul
    Full Name:
    Johnathan
    I'll forgive you, as you have that funny statue
     
  16. spidermanUK

    spidermanUK Formula 3

    Feb 26, 2005
    1,609
    UK
    Full Name:
    Clive
    that's not a funny statue, that's my girlfriend!:D
     
  17. noony

    noony F1 Veteran

    Nov 25, 2003
    5,903
    Seoul
    Full Name:
    Johnathan
    ...nice catch
     
  18. LittleBro

    LittleBro Formula 3

    Jul 7, 2004
    1,790
    Herts, UK
    Full Name:
    Woody
    Gloat? Saw it last weekend :) (yep, before the premiere!)
     
  19. noony

    noony F1 Veteran

    Nov 25, 2003
    5,903
    Seoul
    Full Name:
    Johnathan
    how did you manage that?
     
  20. LittleBro

    LittleBro Formula 3

    Jul 7, 2004
    1,790
    Herts, UK
    Full Name:
    Woody
    It wasnt planned, I can assure you. A mate knew someone that had something to do with the making of it and got us a special invite.

    Very odd being in a Cinema full of poeple randomly cheering at scenes in the film. Thought I was at a football match when the titles came up! I'm guessing the music and costumes had a huge British influence :)
     
  21. noony

    noony F1 Veteran

    Nov 25, 2003
    5,903
    Seoul
    Full Name:
    Johnathan
    some people are pretty sad ;)

    was it any good?
     
  22. GrahamS

    GrahamS F1 Veteran
    BANNED

    May 29, 2004
    5,480
    24 hours from Tulsa
    Full Name:
    Grandmaster G
    Yo dudes how's it going.

    Can't stop, I'm in between phone calls
     
  23. Dale

    Dale F1 Veteran

    Oct 7, 2003
    5,211
    uk
    Full Name:
    Dale Juan
    evening all,your a busy man these day's graham:D
     
  24. sletti

    sletti F1 Veteran
    Lifetime Rossa

    Nov 19, 2003
    5,084
    NW Kent
    Full Name:
    Stig W
    Ep III..... good.
     
  25. noony

    noony F1 Veteran

    Nov 25, 2003
    5,903
    Seoul
    Full Name:
    Johnathan
    anyone else having trouble with fchat tonight :(
     

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