Ever Been in Jail?

LOL! Have you ever heard Dave Chappelle's standup routine about sesame street??? He talks about "The Count" being a pimp, and Snuffalupogus being a heroin addict.

Count: "B****, how many times must I smack you before you act right? One, Two... Two Smacks! Ah hah hah hah hah......."

Snuffy: "Hiiiiiiii Birrrrrrrrd. I'm sick birrrrrrrd, I need some smack birrrrrdd..."

If you don't have Dave Chappelle's "Killing Em Softly" DVD, BUY IT. It is the funniest sh*t ever. I ripped the audio to a CD and I listen to it on long car trips, I think I know the whole routine by heart.

 

i always watch the tv show, never heard the the standup. i will have to pick up. he is one funny SOB.

 

please stop or i may pee myself. Some of the funniest **** ive ever heard. My favorite stand up though is Kevin James.

 

hehe, two Fchatters met the glorious Captain of the Richmond (KY) Police Department. Great guy, especially for putting them in jail on the way to Indy, which was so worth the whole ordeal
(BTW, sarcasm is present in this post on several occasions)

 

NO

 

A couple of times for me back in college including one 24 hr stint. That was, without question, the L O N G E S T 24 hours of my life so far. No more 3am Waffle House fights for me. I can guarantee you that.

 

I forgot that characters name that lives in a trashcan (yes i never watched sesame street when i was a kid.. so what!)

anyways dave goes of like this...

"why you always so grumpy (name of that guy)"

"WELL I LIVE IN A TRASHCAN B*TCH, what you want me to say!!!"

i was lucky that a friend of my got me that dvd hehe

 

Did she have big tits?

 

Yes
In Iran in 1983 during the Iran-Iraq war.
For spying, allegedly...

 

How close did you come to a beheading?

 

Wow, you met Roscoe Orman. He also played Willie Dynamite.

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0072409/

Ain't no one crosses WILLIE "D"

 

I got ya, Xmas 1996, Huntington Beach, bench warrant for a speeding ticket. Odd thing was I just got back into town and had given my mom the money to pay it while I was gone... she forgot

 

At least that's what she told you!

 

I’m writing from prison right now (married). It has its good side and bad side.
Bad: Food is not real good and the cell is messy.
Good: The conjugal visits!

 

I had a warrant for an unpaid parking ticket. I went and took care of it on a Saturday but since it was the weekend it still showed in the system until Monday. When I was pulled over that night for having the stereo too loud, low and behold there is a warrant for my arrest. I had to use my phone call to call my mom and ask her for $100 bail.

 

I was in two jails in one day. This happened 30 years ago when I was on my way back to grad school. I was driving between two other cars but the cop pulled me over (I had long hair, the car in front had two little old ladies and the one in back had an old man in an old pickup and we are in Mississippi, you do the math) But I was still pissed. I knew I had not been speeding but I also knew I had to pay the ticket. The problem was, I had enough business law courses to be dangerous. So I wrote them a check on butcher paper 2ft. X 4ft. with all the correct bank #'s and mailed it in. I don't know the law today, but 30 years ago it was legal to handwrite a check on any piece of paper as long as you have the bank #'s, it was legal tender. Well, about two weeks later I was sitting in art history class when two cops came in and haul my butt to jail. I was first put in the local jail waiting for extridicion to the next county where I had comitted the (speeding) offense. Then was moved to the second county jail 2 hours later. The charge was failure to pay the speeding ticket. When I explained that I had payed the ticket, there reply was," Boy, we don't take no funny checks." Intelligence is no match for stupidity.

 

Hhahah, I wish you had enough courses to take this furthur and prosecute them for the unlawful arreast and failure to accept a check in good faith!

 

don't even get me started