The sentiment here should not be to villanize women in general. Truth is both men and women have equal capacity to hurt eachother to the same degree. Its pointless to sit here and say, "men this" or "women that". You have to judge people on an individual basis. My suggestions weren't given with the intention that he should fool himself in any way psychologically. I'm encouraging him to focus on living his life to the fullest...I mean why shouldn't he anyways? Regardless of whether he's in a relationship or not or whether she cares about him or not? Isn't it his right to seek out adventure and exciting activities exclusive of his relationship status or what some girl thinks of him, so why draw an association between the two in order to qualify how one relates to the other? Also he should do all those things for HIMSELF 'cuz he shouldn't be concerned about whether this will win her back or not. That's a bit too analytical I suppose but the point is the time he spends alone should make him feel happy and fulfilled. However going out and using other people to try and forget someone else perpetuates a viscious cycle that would probably make him end up feeling less emotionally satisfied than before.
ok ill do a serious post now just get out and have fun with your friends. Dont sulk around it may draw negative attention to yourself and thats not what you need. you need to surround yourself with positive attention from both sexes. You dont necissarly need to go out and bang the first woman you see. That may cause even more pain. Just talk to girls and not say anything about the relationship, you will see how easy it is to just talk and you will soon forget about the whole deal.
Don't listen to Pat. He listens to the Backstreet Boys.... In all seriousness, he does say some good things.
after a while you 2 will talk about something and maybe an opportunity to meet . take her out , get her drunk and nail her in the arse , you know 1 for the road then you will be at peace. the next time you see her with another guy , you can tell him where you have been which takes the gloss off his new acquisition. if you have already had the pleasure of this experience , the nailing bit.....then grieve my brother , grieve rock on
you read incorrectly. i am saying consensual sex would normaly take place as the relationship was 3 years in the making. we have all had sex with our exe's once the relationship was over haven't we? i don't agree with rape either. the entire thread is taking the piss out of the poor lad who should know better than telling us his probs. understand what i have said? rock on
All of you have given great advice and funny comments aswell, I wasnt expecting this thread to be all serious c'mon you gotta have fun also even if it is at my expense but I have to say comments from CMY, Mindy, JaguarXJ6 and many others of you helped a great deal to restore my confidance and although I hate to admit it I would even have to agree with Horsefly on some things (however I do sense some bitterness in his corner aswell) I've decided to stop being a chump and chasing her. Im cutting all contact with her starting today, deleted her from my phone and put everything she gave me in a box. Im ready to start moving on with my life and not dwelling on the past. Even though it maybe extreamly hard...Any suggestions what I should do if she calls and wants to see me? Should I see her or not?? I would also like to thank everyone for their helpful comments, just going through them makes me feel better. This thread is a great example of "FChat Therapy" and I didnt have to dish out $90/hr. So once again, thank you everyone for all your support, this thread changed my way of going about it.
Do nothing differently - don't see her, don't talk to her. When you do talk to her, make them less than 1 minute conversations because you should be busy with other things. Hint, hint. "I gotta go" kinds of things. But you should really have these things to do. Working on want you want to change/what you did wrong so it doesn't happen again, having fun, working on the business, spending time with friends you couldn't spend because of the commitments of business and relationship are some suggestions. Some people forget that the odds are your true friends will see you through more in life than your relationships will, so reforge those ties! The only thing that matters is she wants to see you. What you want to do is not regress back into the relationship, and she'll be chasing after you. Tweak your time management and business aspirations and you'll be in charge of things again. Then, only then, decide to have a real conversation with her. If she changes her mind, guess what? You already moved on before she did, LOL. Better to have that happen now instead of being MARRIED with possible CHILDREN. Thats a whole new level of pain you were saved from. You're on the right track, bud! Sunny P.S. Don't be a postal service, mail her belongings to her. Get the address during small talk. Nothing spells out the cold hard reality of a breakup better than receiving their things back. If someone wants to seperate from you, its all or nothing. Don't let this slide.
Well its not like I resent her for anything, the break up was my fault and Im fully aware of it. Basically what im looking for is a method to get over her now and not to have her come back chasing me. I've realized its over and for me to accept and start healing.
Cheer up Sfumato and CMY, don't be bitter. Technology has answered your prayers. She will never reveal the hard core truth of the big bad world, and can be programmed to call you 27 times each day. Just be sure to keep a fresh battery pack handy. http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/sci/tech/4714135.stm
Two words: "You time" Thats all you need. You can go after something you want when you're ready champ!
Have you nailed her best friend yet? It will help both you and the friend, because you'll be having sex...
I'm not. Just intolerant of idiots spewing nonsense. I've got a great wife, 3 great kids, a great career, and 2 Ferraris. What do you have, Ozark-boy?? Get a mirror...you'll find your problems there. Image Unavailable, Please Login
Just an update for those that care: Today was the first day since it happend that I did not make any contact with her whatsoever. I got through the daytime like a breeze and kept busy and didnt think about it much but it got harder at night (when we would usually talk). I even went out with friends to a local bar, although I kept thinking of her when I was out and what she might be doing I stuck to my guns and didnt call. So I dunno to many of you it may not seem like a big deal but this is a huge leap for me. I just hope I can keep this up.
You know, in all honesty, I still think about a certin girl I parted ways with half a decade ago. Think about her nearly everyday infact. Life DOES go on, but it does not get much easier. Be ready, keep living. (And yes, I did her friend. That helped a lot actually.)
And with all that, you still can't afford to buy yourself a descent personality that prevents third grade name calling of fellow PAYING board members: By the way, my dog's bigger than you're dog! Image Unavailable, Please Login
