New Gallardo - The First Two Weeks

I am glad I did break this up into sections... If I had written this all from the first day I don’t think I would have been able to finish from the typing cramps! I really am sorrry for dragging this out.. it was not my intention.

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As soon as I felt sure that the plow wasn’t going to take us out, I slipped down the snow bank and joined Tom. As we approached the front of the stopped truck you could just make out the driver in the glow of the interior light… Short guy, cigarette butt hanging out of his mouth and one of those felt hunting hats with the flaps that cover the ears. And a sh*t-eating grin a mile wide. In fact, I think he was flat out laughing. I couldn’t image what his first impression was when he came around the bend.

He jumps out and we both realize the volume of his radio must have been at full volume… country music… what else? He walks up and flashes his toothless grin right at me and says “Looks like you’re not going anywhere soon” and starts laughing so hard it sounds like he’s going to hack up a lung. I wanted to kick him in the balls right then and there. Instead I ask what are the chances he’ll pull me out of the snow bank. He replies “How much money ‘ya got there buddy?” and starts that annoying cackle again…. Oh Christ.

We all walk over to where the cars are at and as he walks by the Gallardo I selfishly realize he doesn’t even notice the car. Sadly, driving an exotic conditions your expectations. But instead he walks right by and starts talking with Tom about his predicament. Says there is not much he can do about a car that far in but he’ll call on his radio for a flatbed with a winch. Walks back over to me and for the first time notices the car… ‘What’s that, one of them new SAAB’s?” he qips… now it’s my turn to chuckle and realize it’s not even worth getting into it. He continues… “Thought they were good in snow?” and once again loses it, spit sloshing out of the gaps in his mouth. I take a step back so I don;t get soaked. He looks at the nose and tells me to hold on. We walks to the back of his truck, grabs a shovel and before I have any idea what he is up to, he swings the shovel into the snow 6 inches angled into the front bumper and CLUNK, hits the freaking car…. I completely lose it at this point screaming WHAT THE F**K ARE YOU DOING YOU REDNECK IDIOT!!! He looks me dead in the eye, cigarette butt held between his only two teeth and says “hey man, you want me to get you out or not!?!” I wanted to rip the shovel out of his hands and shove it up his brownie.

Instead, I grab the shovel and start digging out. He walks off mumbling and goes to call a flat bed. The snow is really light and I’m done in very short time... Turned out he didn’t hit the car, but the wheel and there’s a nasty gash on the side of the rim. I know a company here in Boston that fixes curb rash so it shouldn’t be too much to get it fixed. I get in and he shovels some gravel under the tires and the car backs right out. I jump out to thank Tom for the company and wish him luck. I joke and tell him I’ll see him up about 10 miles when he passes me in a ditch… ha ha.

I get back in and I look out the windshield and the driver is just standing there looking back at me… he’s also blocking me from driving away. I’m like, what the f*ck does this tool want, and it hits me… a tip. It briefly crosses my mind that this guy would probably go unnoticed for several days… or at least until I was across the border in Montréal. But instead of “accidentally” running the bastard over, I motion him to the door and grab my wallet. I give him two twenties and without missing a beat he says “Ya know a service call would have run you at least a hundred”. Bah... he was actually right about that. So I give him a another twenty and with a wink and a smile he says “Nice doing bizness with ya” and starts laughing snot all over himself as he walks away… I actually had to laugh this time as well.

I get the bright idea to let him pass me and then I’ll follow behind him as far as he is going. After all, his plow is at least as wide as the lane and also, as he goes by I notice that sand is being spit out of the back. Nice… this will be easy. As he goes by, I slip over into the left most lane and that’s when I realize the road underneath the snow was actually covered in a layer of ice. A quick slip but the car corrected itself almost instantly and I was directly behind the truck. In fact too close. Within seconds I hear what sounds like hail pounding down on the front of the car…. It’s the dirt and pebbles bouncing out of the back of his truck. It sounded like it was raining marbles. And to anyone that has just purchased a new car, regardless of the make/model, I am sure you can agree that this has to be one of the worse sounds in the world. You are helpless and there’s nothing that can stop it… I did back off about 10 feet but it still was happening and I’m thinking about what a new paint job is going to cost. Charlie Daniels up in the truck in front of me probably fully opened the road-salt bucket and was pissing himself right now. Other than this and the fact that staring at the four HUGE orange revolving beacons was making me trip like I used to in high school…. It was an uneventful 10 mile drive to the Canadian border.

The Final Chapter next… Crossing the Border and Montreal finally!

Billy