I think Chuck Norris would get an assbeating from a Tiger. But some fights I would very much like to see would be Hulk Hogan vs. an Orangutan Mike Tyson vs. a Buffalo All the top UFC guys vs. a hippo Any 10 guys on the planet vs. an elephant Any 20 guys vs. a Rhino Bruce Lee vs. a Leopard Arnold Schwarzenegger vs. 5 wolverines Jeanene Garofalo vs. a komodo dragon I can think of tons more I'd pay to see!
All Chuck Norris would have to do is stare at him and SRT would be toast. I may be a lurker but, I did read the Chuck Norris thread .
This erudite docu-drama will tell you all you need to know about fighting a kangaroo. Image Unavailable, Please Login
I keep picturing that roo in that Bugs Bunny cartoon that rears up on it's tail and kicks people across the yard.
OK, who has a photo of a Zorse ? Found one, Zoinks !!!!! Sort of cute Image Unavailable, Please Login
Lets get this straight: You boys want to duke it out with wild animals? And you think youre going to win? With a roundhouse right and a boot in the Buster Browns? Holy Cow! Your are aware that wild animals fight for a living - literally - and win, arent you? And they have claws, serrated teeth, horns and all sorts of armor, right? They dont need lawyers. Furthermore, no kangaroo, small ape or armadillo - hell, even a capybara - is going to hang about while you dancing off to the side on an extended flank attack, and then keel over from the first blow. Golly gosh! I dont know how you have lived long enough to make those 1,694 posts, other than in a high-rise urban environment. As someone who once had to tangle with an ape I seriously advise you to stay in the penthouse. Angry animals are way knarly. Advice: Stick with Mutual of Omahas half hour.
This situation actually turned into a 20 page thread on another forum. Many people worship the pitbull and do not think a human could take one. I think a human could, assuming that the person is 5'10 @ 175lb and strong. A combat trained human could probably take a normal sized pitbull. Limb articulation, strength, and intelligence being the primary reasons for victory. However, if the human had boots or a stick of some sort the odds are tilted much more in their favor. I would think that humans would have a much harder time against wolverines, kangaroos, or komodo dragons.
We have a racoon in our backyard that eats our cat's food on the patio (outdoor cat). It got to the point where the racoon wouldn't run away after we open the sliding door. Lastnight I took two oranges to get this thing from coming back. First one I threw went over its head by 3 feet (I threw from about 20 feet away). Second one, right in the fcuking face!!! Since it was dark, it didn't even see it coming!!! It smacked it right in the face and the racoon looked at the ground making some stupid sound then ran away. I'll see if it comes back tonight.
Kangaroos have serrated teeth, horns, armor, and all sorts of stuff? That must be some kangaroo! Nobody ever said any wild animal could be beaten, but those in my post I would be confident about. I don't think an armadillo is going to hang around waiting for a nut-kick but he's not going to have much to say about getting picked up and thrown against the ground as hard as possible now, is he? Just because you got your ass handed to you by an ape doesn't mean every other man would fail the test.
Only a weakling of a man would lose to a pitbull. I am not afraid of dogs at all, maybe having owned a bunch, but I don't think even the strongest dogs could do anything to a full grown man. There are several ways to pin a dog so he can't hurt you and if hurting the dog wasnt an issue, picking him up by the back legs is going to render him pretty much helpless. I bet most men would take some damage from a pit but there is no way a pit (or any dog) is going to win in a fight with a man of any strength. They are going to come at you face-first and one swift kick to the head is going to knock that sucker out.
SRT Mike, Ill tell you what...... Lets have some sort of shipping address and well start sending you wild animals to duke it out with. Well also send a webcam for our mutual entertainment, as well as a big bottle of iodine and some happy face Band-Aids for the early rounds. What do you say boys? A FerrariChat whip around. Wed have a zoo of deadly creatures in no time. I know a guy at one of those places that sell shipping boxes. Im sure hell let us post snorting livestock without any hassle. Well put the shark in a plastic bag first, so that the cardboard doesnt get wet and make the address all blurry. So, SRT Mike, well start with seahorses or better yet those dried out sea monkey eggs we can order off the back of a comic book, and when youve handed out a good thrashing to those semi-vegetative things well move up the animal chain. You wont need a special letter box, I think youll be in plaster before we get to warthogs or anything that will need a big slit in the door to get delivered. Itll be fun. Youll love it. Bags of hand-to-claw combat. You should know, as a good deal of your tactical planning involves crotch-kicking, we might slip in the odd female reptile to make life difficult. Hell, theres even a parthogenic species of lizard that wont notice your primary assault, but its a slow mover, unless your apartment is at 110? F, in which case, better wear leather britches. Lets make it happen! My money is on the pack of lab rats in parcel #3. (With a scientific education theyll be fast and smart.)
O.K. fellas, Ive found a goldfish that wants to rumble. Ill send it and a snorkel over to, lets see..... Taxachusetts immediately. Better get out the Spedos. (This thread is too funny to let die quickly.)
Come on - be serious - if it's a goldfish you need to send at LEAST 100-200 of them, and ill tempered ones at that! Did I mention I would fight a pirahna in shallow water - even 2 or 3 of them.
