Today's advice goes out to the single men: Always make friends with fat chicks because more than likely she is the DFC, and shell have hot friends.
DFC: Also known as DUFF DUFF Designated Ugly Fat Friend A Fat undersired female who is always seen with another female who is much more attractive. It is usually impossible to score with the hotter female without the duff receiving her fair share of the action. "Wow that fat DUFF is hanging out with those two attractive ladies, too bad."
Didn't think I'd quote myself but here goes This is why we invented the Wingman. Preferably one of your friends who likes to drink a lot and will take one down for the team.
Today's advice goes out to the paranoid people in Wyoming: The old saying, keep your friends close and your enemies closer, is very valid, but what if your enemies have small pox?
Today's advice goes out to the animal lovers: Never give mouth to mouth to a rooster because people will think you are a **********.
