Creative Stories From Beggars: Heard a new one tonight!

They do have shifts, I've seen them get into it over who had the corner for what day and time, it was interesting observing because I had heard "they" have shifts, but I was actually seeing it for my own eyes.


So I was bumping around in the City of Austin where it's becoming the norm that you can find a pan handler at most stop lights, and it just happens to be that I'm stuck with one at a corner. This guy in a wheel chair with one of his legs missing and a sign in his lap is going car to car asking for handouts. Well, he rolls up to my car and asks if I had any change to give? I told him "no, I don't" Then he said, "Oh, you're going to be selfish too?" I told him, "yes". He then asks me," Well, was Jesus selfish?" I told him, "I don't know" He asked if I believed in Jesus, and I told him "I don't know" again because I just didn't want to entertain this guy any longer (ignore him). He then proceeds to say "So, you believe in El Diablo then?!" I told him,"I never said that" and he goes on rolling himself out of my view saying that I believe in "El Diablo". C'mon, this is bad enough that I have a guy in a wheel chair peddling from car to car asking if I have any spare change, but he goes on to call me Satanists of all things! He got it worse with the chic behind me who didn't cut him any slack what so ever, and competely ignored him not even acknowledging his prescense by fiddling with the radio. A month later a different one called me Satan himself!

Oddly enough, there's another guy who's been on the same corner who comes out at nights to sell flowers who has sold them for at least 5 years. He plays it off like he's a nice guy, and when he sees you he will wave and smile. Then when you aren't looking he flicks you off, I know, I've seen it happen to one guy, and I've caught him three times doing it to me!
"Keep Austin weird"

 

One Saturday afternoon while pulling into a Sonic Drive In, a guy with a 1 gallon gas can walks toward my truck and starts with the old spiel of "My van ran out of gas and I need to get back to _____". I knew it was a crock of bull, but I was giving the guy some credit for at least carring a gas can as a prop to make his story look good. So I gave him a dollar. A friend reminded me later on that, with gas selling for over $2 a gallon, even if his story was legit, the $1 that I gave him would barely get him past the city limits before he ran out again. Oh well, too bad.

 

Maybe you really are.....

$1.00 would buy him enough gas to inhale though.

 

This happened in Little Rock, Arkansas. Nobody "inhales" here. Just ask Billy Boy.

 

Ryan should not worry unless he hear the beggar say "Man you got a pretty mouth."

BT

 

I was driving home real late on a side street and in the middle of the road was a guy on a bicycle. He started pointing at me and I slowed down a bit. He wasn't waving, but was keeping his arm extended in my direction. I couldn't see what was in his hand, but as I approached I thought, 'is that a gun?' The thought naturally caused me to tense up, but since he was in the middle of the street I couldn't go around him so I stopped. He lowers his hand, I see that he doesn't have a gun and he asks, "Can I toss my bike in the back of your car and get you to drive me up the street." It was probably 3 and I couldnt' believe what he was asking and told him that I couldn't. I'm not sure whether he was homeless, but definately out of his fing mind.

 

Here's another guy that was out of his mind, even though he wasn't a bum. It's 5AM in the morning and pitch dark outside. I'm driving down one of the main 4 lane streets that runs for over a half mile down a steep hill. Absolutely NO sides to the road whatsoever because the street runs down a steep mountain with concrete walls against the side of the mountain to protect against falling rocks. I'm in the right lane right up against the concrete wall and going down the hill on my way to work. In an instant I see a MAN JOGGING in MY LANE coming up the hill!!!!!!! My heart skips a beat and I swerve to the left to avoid this insane buffoon who is out for his morning job in the pitch black dark! Like a good pedestrian, he was in his left hand lane, which meant he was also totally unavoidable to oncoming traffic as they came around the curve as I was doing.

The stupidity of this idiot was overwhelming. He was so concerning about his health that he was out jogging at 5AM, in the dark, up a highway, on a hill, in a curve, with no sidewalk.

 

about 10 years ago, I was walking up to the huge construction project in downtown DC where I had a 7:30am site meeting and a homeless guy asked me for money. He was a big guy and seemed very physically fit, so I said "I'll do better than that, I can probably get you a job in the next 15 minutes if you just follow me." I figured I had a 50/50 chance of getting him signed on as a day-laborer filling up dumpsters w/ site garbage; non-union project. This guy let loose on me w/ a string of profanity and followed me for half a block spewing it; you'd thought I had just peed on him he was so furious w/ me.

 

Some of you guys are way more understanding than I am when it comes to pro beggers.
I never offer money, but I offer advice: 'Get a job'.

 

The same thing happened to my Father here in Calgary, except the fella actually gave him a business card with his "name" on it to call. The guy actually walks into restaurants and fishes cards out of the bins they have setup at the front that the suits toss in for a free lunch. Dad calls up to some guy who wonder's WTF is going on, threatens to call police, etc. Smart gig I guess.

 

I remember the Harvard Square bums vividly, although the ones by Central iirc were significantly worse in every way, pushy, scuzzy, and generally wasted/cracked out; at least the Harvard Square ones were usually young and semi coherent. But Boston bums have nothing on the ones here in SoFla that love to congregate around stoplights at off-ramps. They'll just go car to car while you're trapped at a redlight with their "disabled vet" carboard cutouts. Meanwhile, the upside is that the more proactive homeless here actually sell newspapers (legit) on similar stoplight corners and at least try to work for a living. Either way, I generally work on the mantra "sorry bud, debit cards, never carry cash anymore" and they just leave you alone.

 

I tried this one too! Last summer, my friend suggested that one. I was leaving work with a group of co-workers and this tall guy who looked like Jeff Foxworthy on meth came up and right when he started talking to me, I turned to him and said, "Wait! Do you have any money? I could really use some money!" I was in a suit with a group of dressed up guys. He started yelling at me: "WHAT!? I AIN'T HOMELESS, MAN! MY CAR JUST BROKE DOWN!!"

"Sure, sure."

The best part is how they recoil in defense with that, "why, I never!" look.

 

Bumped into the guy from one of A&E's Intervention espisodes last weekend. This is what he said:

http://ferrarichat.com/forum/showpost.php?p=135617508&postcount=1

 

I was standing in line at Tim Hortons a while ago (thats like Dunkin Doughnuts for you Americans) and this homeless guy walks up, asks me for change. "sorry man, dont have any change" as I say this I have a few bills in my pocket. The guy goes " oh thats ok, you will fall on your face some day. I used to have a carpet cleaning business, hired five or six guys and had a few trucks. Lost the business..blah blah." Guy goes to next person in line " Any spare change?" lady says "nope, sorry. I give to the Calgary Mustard Seed street ministry" Homeless guy "Oh thats just some money making operation, I bet if I went down to the mustard seed today and asked for clothing they wouldnt give me any" at which point he shoves his way through the line to counter, puts down his dollar and tries to order a coffee.

Counter staff says sorry sir thats not enough for a coffee. Homeless guys goes on a rant much like the above. Pulls out a huge bottle of vodka from his pocket, drinks it right infront of the counter. Staff give him his coffee. Flips off the counter staff "**** you guys..**** this **** that.." so on. Police are called, thats the last time i saw him out at the Tim Hortons.

 

Lots of unpleasant experiences. Heres a few more of mine.

-Working in Boston, I used to go to the subway station at about the same time every day. There was a guy in jeans, leather jacket and a collar t-shirt that walked down the line of people waiting for train and in a shotgun manner just said "need 75 cents to make a call, got any change?". He literally said it and kept going and only stopped if someone moved to give him money. I used to just ignore him as most did but after a while I used to get upset and tell him LOUDLY to get a job and people would clap!

-Driving out of Boston - near the Fleet Center there is a busy intersection before you get on I-93. There was always a guy sitting on a bucket with a sign that had a list of his disabilities and asking for money. He always looked real downtrodden and scruffy. One way I was coming home later than usual and I see him walking with his jacket stuffed in his bucket into the nearby parking garage. He takes off his scruffy shirt and sweats to reveal decent clothes, pulls out his keys and I see his BMW chirp as the doors unlock. Loads his stuff into the trunk and drives out. Unbelievable!

-Was in Europe walking down the street at night with my GF and her sister. We go by a guy and as we approach he mumbles something unintelligible in a foreign language. I ask what he said and they say "nothing just keep walking". As we pass he gets pissed that he didnt get a response so he pushes my GF's sister and yells loudly "F**KING WHORES!". I lost it - beat the guys ass for that one. I dunno what he was on but you just don't do that kind of thing.

 

This should happen to every bum who asks for money, every time.

Would probably result in more muggings though...

 

Stupid naive senile idiots. They're the type of people who would have given up jews unknowingly to the Nazis and gotten people killed.

 

"Sorry, I spent all my money on this car. I have none left. BTW, could you spare some change for gas?"

 

You should have said yes, I do believe in Satan, in fact, I am him, and if you don't go away I will incinerate your sorry ass. If he persists and says you're bluffing, this is when you pull out the aerosol can and lighter.

 

This beggar is a regular around here.
First, the 'approach' with 'eye contact'....
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Then, the 'beg' begins.
Never says a word, 100% success rate.
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That's adorable! Does anybody know if big dogs can beg? I tried to teach my airedale, but she doesn't seem to have a sense of balance.

 

I had a lady come up to me asking for money. She gave me some bs sob story about being broke and just out of work. Then she said she was only trying to get money for the persciption medication for her diabetes. I told her no problem I would help her out. She said she needed x amount of dollars, I said no problem again. Then I told her to let's go. She thought we were going to the bank. I told her "no" we were going to the pharmacy to get the perscription. Then she started to try to make up some other lie as to why she just needed the cash. I just kept insisting on going to the pharmacy. Oh it was great the look on her face when she figured out I knew what her bs game was from the get go. She then said to never mind and hurried off. I was still having fun with it, telling her "wait come back I thought you needed your medication". She was walking so fast she started to run a little. Hahahahaha. I tell you, they must think some people just fell off the turnip truck.

 

I just remembered one from last month. These young guys were sitting on the street asking for spare change. They were in their very early 20's. So when the kids asked if I had spare change I said yeah and to hold on. I was on the phone. After I finished my conversation I gave them the loose change in my pocket. I then asked if they wouldn't mind answering a question. They said they would. So I asked them "When you guys were little kids and people asked what you wanted to be when you grew up, did you tell them that you wanted to grow up to be bums and beg for money?" Hahahahahaaaa. Oh did one of the guys get pissed at that. He started yelling at the guy I gave the money to to give it back. LOL! I said I didn't give it to them to get it back, but they they should do something better with their life than beg for money. Again these kids were in their very early 20's. Fricken lazy butts.

 

Same thing happened to me on the Riverwalk in San Antonio. Guy comes up to me and asks for a few bucks so he can get something to eat. There was a Mickey D's about 50 feet away, so I told him that I would buy him dinner there. He told me to forget it.