Dealing with Break-ups

Ok, it wasn't too hard to see the connection. I have yet to actually see one of these guys at work, but it's gotta be pretty solid! I tend to fly solo, does this guy mix it up? Also, does it involve the whole C/F routine?

 

some C/F but mostly just ways to display superior value, extreme confidence, awesome body language, and very subtle small stuff thats very powerful, like ignoring and ejecting before the do. Leaves them floored

for instance in a loud club where you have to scream to be heard its 100% body language that seperates guys

 

Ah, I see. I think I have the ignoring an ejecting thing down pretty well. A little negging makes for some really funny expressions on their and their friend's faces.

All it involves is applying simple principles and stepping out of the box. I digress...

 

I split up for the last time with my ex last August after 5 years, spliting
up once before then trying again, we had many bad arguements and bad times but when we were "on" it was a perfect fit, once things go bad and harsh feelings or words are spoken its really over, these things are never usually forgotten, if someone is vindictive and they know you well they can really tear you apart verbally and it wrecks trust and intimate feelings as well.

The hardest part of breaking up is loosing the close friend and confidant, once you get past that stage you will look back and wonder why you stayed together so long, dating new people is always difficult as you may be more critical of someone new as well.

 

Just wanted to say thanks William for your advice some months ago about the Double your Dating series. I got it some time ago and it's great. I now tell all my friends about it. I tried to thank you earlier but your mailbox was full.

So "Thanks!"

 

I'm glad it helped you

Ive changed a lot over the last year thanks to DYD, RSD, & Brent

I have a whole new outlook on life & women, Life is Good

 

That's where I'm at... evenings at home alone SUCK.

 

they do. thats why i found i knew friend, jack daniels. he doenst hang around for long tho, but when he's there, its a blast.

 

call your friends, go see a movie, get the H out of the house

Go have FUN

 

Yeah, that's more or less what I have been doing... it passes the time but doesn't fill the void.

I'm a homebody, though - we were both homebodies - so most of the memories that I have are us hanging out together at home, which is where I want to be, where I should feel most comfortable, where I have always gone to 'lick my wounds' and be at peace, but that's exactly where the 'ghosts' and memories are.

If I lived in an apartment, I'd transfer the lease and move to another one, but I just got a new house in January, and she lived in it with me *just* long enough to make it feel like it was *our* home, so now I've just got to deal with it and do what I can to make it mine.

C'est la vie.

 

Did you know her long? What happened? Her decision or yours?

Sorry bud.

Wes

 

Breaking up sucks, I pulled the plug on my girlfriend last night of 2 years. And now I feel like it was the biggest mistake I've made in a long time...

I have like 8000 things going through my head..

 

I broke up a few months back as well....my choice.

In the end you have to trust the person who made the decision. 'He' was there and knew the situation better than 'you' now.

As in my case, I have to trust

"me of two months ago"

over

"me, here and now, removed from the realities of the situation".

Hope that helps.

 

In a nutshell - knew her for five years; dated on-and-off for the first year, then spent the last 2-1/2 years dating steadily. Lived together in an apartment for most of that. Moved into a brand-new house - two weeks later she moves out, supposedly to live with a female friend. I found out later that she'd been cheating on me for the previous three months with an online friend she'd known for 6-8 months, and she moved out and broke up with me to go move in with him. Nice, hey?

 

That's brutal.

May I ask, what were your views on marriage before, and what are they now?

Call me simplistic, but isn't that the risk of not being married to someone you're growing attached to?

Sorry again.

Wes

 

Ahhh the association thing. That makes it really difficult to keep your mind off things. Solution: .... at the least, go buy a can of paint, or new furniture.

 

Not sure how I feel about marriage in this case - it might have held us together longer, or she might have still cheated on me anyway. I don't think it would have prevented this.

She ruined her first marriage by cheating - don't know exactly why the second marriage ended, but I do know it was an amiable split.

Good questions, though... thank you.

 

did you's get together as a result of her cheating on someone else....?

 

Yeah, that's what I'm working on - making the place my own. There will always be some 'ghosts' lingering in places in the house, but a lot of them have faded quite a bit.

I just hate that what she did has completely tainted nearly every memory I have of us for the past year, wondering what she was *really* thinking along the way - did she sign online and start chatting up some guy after we finished watching that evening movie/playing that game/got home from dinner/etc.? How many times did she wait until I was asleep and go meet some guy online? How many failed attempts at stirring up online interactions did she go through before she got to this successful one?

I need to figure out how to rid my mind of those thoughts and move forward. I don't mind talking to a therapist, but I've always resisted going on anti-depressants or other sort of mood-altering medication - heck, whether you take the meds or not, the problem is still there in your head... isn't it?

 

Nope. Or at least, not as far as I know of, having known each other for five + years - with everything else that we *had* discussed over the years, I am sure that fact would have surfaced somewhere along the way.

When we got back together for the long haul this time, I was a few months out of an other relationship, and we started seeing each other at first - she was dating around a bit at the time - but things felt right so we began dating exclusively again.

I don't go after another guy's girl - if she's taken, she's taken, and I respect that. I got into my first long-term relationship waaaaay back when by weaseling my way in-between two people, and after all the heartache that caused back then, I learned it's not worth it.

 

Quote of the year!

Oh yeah, nail her best friend.

 

I've moved to a place in my life where I really do not care if I am with a girl or not. I'm perfectly happy being ME and living my life. If some gal with a great ass wants to share it, hop on but you'd better not only pull your own weight, but add something interesting to the mix.

I'm a very intense person, and so are my relationships. I ain't into last week's soap opera or dumbing myself down to appeal to the average sluts. I am into spontonaity, and a daily realization and embracing of all the wonder grandur, sadness, excitment and potential that we have to offer. I'm into exploring this world inside and outside the human mind. Most people aren't ready for that at the drop of the hat, but it sure makes those who are taste all the sweeter.

Also, definately **** her best friend, this is important.

 

Zanax..... enough said

 

Probably. After awhile you'll get tired of feeling sick and tired. Go buy a plane ticket; plan a vacation.

 

Some of the truest words spoken in this thread. It's a sure way to cause WAY too much angst that could have been easily avoided by respecting basic social boundaries! As my friends like to call it, "bad news bears!"