When do you let go?

I'm Renee. I'm a female. I'm in college, and just a couple years older than Steve's daughter. No kids.

My parents don't really care how late I'm out now when I'm at home. They know when I'm at school they can't keep me from staying out til 9:50 pm with creepy old Omar, so setting curfews at home would be a little silly.

They were very strict when I was 17 and in high school.

 

Discretion is key. I would expect any responsible parent to keep their "pastimes" too themselves.

 

Well everybody is different. And there is definitely a difference between 17 and 21, (although I'm 20,) and even a huge difference between freshmen and sophomores.

I was 17 when I went away to college, and since I'd spent considerable amounts of time alone in Spain in high school, I guess not monitoring my every move wasn't tough for my parents. They pretty much trust me not to do anything stupid. And I pretty much haven't done anything stupid (things I've kicked myself for and learned from, but nothing I'll have regrets about a couple years down the road). When I am home, I usually tell them where I'm going and with who, (I haven't got secrets,) and they don't really care what time I get back.

If you didn't know the guy who brought your daughter home, maybe you should be introduced?

 

No, but I bet she could come across them in only a few minutes of surfing the board - especially if she clicks on your profile (and clicks "view all posts")!

I'm not paranoid, but it's a dangerous assumption to think that what you're posting here publicly doesn't get back to your family at all.

 

Come on, Mario. If you have them in your house, what teenager doesn't know where the 'pasttimes' are hidden?

And in this case, they're not hidden, they're on a public board with 30,000+ users (including steve's wife Collette- she has posted here, no?). That thread alone has 1,000,000+ views. It is a blaring klaxon.

 

We have all been 17, but it not untill you have raised children do you really understand were a mother and farther are comming from. No matter how old and expereanced you think you are. One thinks you know what love is untill you have children and only then will you know and mean the saying "to die for". And i dont just mean farthering a child and seeing them once a month, no i mean raising them in a loving home,
I fully understand about the question "when to let go". My sons are 12 and 13 and i know in a few years time they them selfs will want to be set free. Funny realy becourse i have done alot of dangerous and gung ho things in my life from joining the Marines to riding and driving fast vehicles, and working hot spos. And it terrifies me to think that my boys may want to do the things i have done.
I remember teasing my friends about them having daughters while i had two sons, but then i had a little girl who is now years old. And i know already what i will be feeling when she is her self 16-17.

 

That would take how long... 2 minutes? Do you leave your own computer logged in? Has she never seen you sitting at your computer? Don't think she's a fool!

As for the second part, well, obviously that kind of argument runs on opinion. While most is probably not, some of what I have seen is, IMO. But I wouldn't have my daughter flaunting her stuff even in a bikini online.

Ok, I'm off now. But just don't be a hypocrite. I'm not saying you are, but I'm warning if you are worried about your daughter, don't say one thing and show her another ("Don't stay out late or be loose with boys... while I post pics of girls in thongs haunched over looking sexy.")

 

Wow...you run with a tough crowd!

 

I doubt at 17, that she cares what her dad is doing on the computer.

Keep the Bikini thread alive! Good luck with your situation.

 

The girls Steve and I post are adults.
A bikini is different than a BJ, etc.
I would be more worried about kiddie porn than bikinis any day. I see results of same far to often.
This is more of a P&R turn to the thread.
If you raise your children with good values, and show them good choices, they mostly come out OK. If not, or if left to own devices or the sway of others, you may not be so lucky. Lots of nutcases out there, far more than years ago. Worry about the neighbor who befriends your child then carves them up to eat more than some 20+yo in a bikini doing pics of her own volition.
If someone in your family did that, for whatever reason, you don't have to like it, but as a parent you have to support them through it. Look at Scott Petersons family, OJ's family, Michael Jackson's family. Yes, a bit extreme, but they circle the wagons. Pedophile, murderer, or whatever.
So we can't make our kids choices, only show them good ones, reinforce their choices, and pray they live long enough to outlive us.
Please stop ranting about the Bikini thread. Ignore it, whatever, but Steve asked a question and didn't need a discourse on posting habits. You could have offered study hint habits, or how you use the board to relieve stress of school/job/whatever.
FWIW, and I'm not attacking you Ryan, just pointing out as a parent that we don't control our children's destiny. They do. We just help them along the way, and try to pick them up when they fall, keep them on course.
L

 

Andrew, you have a very wise and caring mother.